how was it that he would want to earn her,


  a second wife?



desire


   the way he would shear at my father's sheep



      every muscle bent


       and his neck throbbing


      a hidden sun from some distant blessing



desire


   even as he ate the food i would prepare


  with his fingers held mid air


              at times


             the only talking between us



how was it then . . .
 

   into our nights where


  everything practical


       measured became


    for every son i bore him


      the war i could never win