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December 2009
December 2009
How Pedophilia Lost Its Cool

The reason that the monstrous crime of pedophilia matters is simple: In an increasingly secular age, it is one of the few taboos about which people on both sides of the religious divide can agree. It remains a marker of right and wrong in a world where other markers have been erased.

And that is also the reason that the questions surrounding the attempted extradition of Roman Polanski for a 1977 child rape briefly became the Rorschach tests of our times. Sophistication vs. prudery, the morality of the 1970s vs. the morality of today, European artistes vs. American law, Hollywood vs. Middle America: Given just how many cultural and moral buttons were punched by the case, it’s small wonder that l’affaire Polanski generated commentary as voluminous and passionate as it did.

Even so—and to the surprise of many commentators—one singularly interesting fact about the whole wretched matter was that the director and his fate generated little sympathy anywhere in the United States east of, say, Malibu. To the contrary, the Polanski case somehow succeeded in doing what no one actually trying has managed to do in years: uniting practically all Americans, liberal as well as conservative—in this case, against the hapless director.

It’s been a long time since the left in America has competed with the right for the high ground of a morals charge, but such was the weirdly intriguing scramble following Polanski’s arrest in Switzerland. One of the manifestos that helped catapult the case into a media frenzy—the bluntly titled “Reminder: Polanski Raped a Child”—appeared first in the left-leaning Salon, then went ricocheting around the blogosphere with the firm assent of many more socially conservative sites. The New York Times and the Washington Post, also untrue to form, found themselves editorializing about the case in phrases that the Washington Times or the Catholic League could have reprinted verbatim. And on the unaccustomed consensus went. “If the propriety of punishing child rapists were the only issue in the country,” conservative blogger Patterico noted at the height of cyberspace’s attention to the case, “I do believe we could hold hands with the left and sing Kumbayah.”

The question, of course, is why all this welcome unanimity? After all, it wasn’t very long ago that some enlightened folk took a considerably more relaxed view of the question of sex with youngsters, and they weren’t afraid to say so. From the 1970s through the 1990s, a number of trial balloons were floated that almost no one in America would dare release now. Some people, including celebrated novelists, asked outright whether sex with minors might be worth a cheer or two. Other sophisticated voices wondered aloud whether “intergenerational sex” was really as bad as all that, at least where boys were concerned. Still others staked a claim to what might be called “anti-anti-pedophilia.” This was the frequently expressed notion that the sexual abuse of children, although wrong, had given rise to something that also was wrong—a kind of national hysteria, an instantiation of Richard Hofstadter’s famed American “paranoid style.”

Given the public record of those years, it seemed, if anything, overdue to talk of “pedophilia chic,” as I did in the Weekly Standard in two essays written several years apart (1996 and 2001). Those essays consisted mostly of quotations—sometimes long ones—from a variety of public sources. They demonstrated something that most people would have thought shocking then, as most people still do today—that the moral dumbing-down of both pedophilia (sexual attraction to children) and ephebophilia (sexual attraction to teenagers) was making slow but steady progress in sophisticated society. And while a few critics resisted having that record held to the light, their objections were beside the point. The facts themselves about who said what during those years to define down the phenomenon of sex with minors were beyond dispute. They still are.

The phenomenon of pedophilia chic revealed the intensely troubling possibility that society, especially literate and enlightened society, was in the process of sanctioning certain exceptions to the taboo against sex with minors—particularly sex between men and boys. As a matter of criminal law, of course, girls are often and tragically the victims of older men. But pedophilia chic concerned not the rate of criminal conviction but rather the open public questioning of the taboo itself. What the record through the 1990s showed was that in the case of girls the taboo remained solid, and in the case of boys it did not. In other words, to take the example before us now, had Roman Polanski been arrested for the same crime a decade ago, in all likelihood we would have witnessed the same outcry that we did this fall.

So now let us ask the more difficult question: Would Polanski in 2009 still have inadvertently united almost everyone in America against him if his victim had been a thirteen-year-old boy rather than a thirteen-year-old girl? The answer, perhaps surprisingly, is yes—and for interesting if unexpected reasons.

Plainly, the boundaries of public discussion, at least about the subject of sex with youngsters, are more restrictive today than they were in the 1990s. Back then, the toxic moral fallout of the 1960s and 1970s was fresher and lay more visibly in the public square. Fourteen years ago, for example, the New Republic published a short piece called “Chickenhawk” (pedophile slang for a young boy) that discussed a short film about the North American Man–Boy Love Association. The piece expressed sympathy for the pederasts and would-be pederasts depicted and echoed them in asking whether the boys weren’t sometimes the predators in man–boy sex. The piece is so damning of itself—so perfectly representative of a time when wondering aloud about “man–boy sex” exacted no penalty from the readers of a major magazine—that one could quote almost any sentence for the desired effect: “It might even be that a budding young stud had the upper hand over the aging, overweight loner,” for example.

When it came time this fall to speak about Polanski, however, bloggers for the same magazine seemed to compete over who could most thunderously denounce the confessed child rapist and his apologists. Most important, many were not just attacking the idea of sex with girl minors but with all minors, period.

Similarly, seventeen years ago another sophisticated magazine, Vanity Fair, published a whitewashing of a Phillips Exeter Academy teacher who had been caught surreptitiously filming boys in the showers and splicing those images into pornographic movies. The essay not only painted this former teacher as a victim of his accusers but also cast negatively one accuser who had come forward. Along the way, the article conflated pedophilia with homosexuality, blaming the teacher’s victimization on a school atmosphere that allegedly left him stuck “in the closet.”

The notion that such an apologia could appear in Vanity Fair or any similar venue in 2009 is simply grotesque. To the contrary, this fall that magazine’s blog also ran over with commentators weighing in vehemently against Polanski.

Example three: In 1998 the prestigious Psychological Bulletin, published by the American Psychological Association, printed a subsequently notorious study called “A Meta-Analytic Examination of Assumed Properties of Child Sexual Abuse Using College Samples.” In it, three researchers took issue with “the common belief that child sexual abuse causes intense harm, regardless of gender.” The authors further criticized the use of conventional terms such as victim and perpetrator and recommended that “a willing encounter with positive reactions” be labeled “simply adult–child sex.” For good measure, they also compared consensual adult–child sex to “masturbation, homosexuality, fellatio, cunnilingus, and sexual promiscuity”—behaviors the APA once considered pathological but does no more. The clear implication was that “adult-child” sex would someday become as normalized in therapeutic circles as had these predecessors.

Can anyone imagine a similar study being published in a similarly prestigious venue today? A Google search of the APA’s website suggests that the last time the word pedophilia was even used there was in 1999—tellingly, in a letter written to Tom DeLay, attempting to distance the institution from the article: “It is the position of the Association,” the letter said, “that ­sexual activity between children and adults should never be considered or labeled as harmless or acceptable.”

Or consider one last and especially surreal example. Back in 1989, The Nation published a short piece called “On Truth and Fiction” by a novelist who said he had lately penned an “entertainment about a San Francisco private eye who wandered into the business of transporting Haitian boys to boy-lovers all over the world.” Apparently in the interest of promoting that book, the novelist wanted to report to The Nation’s readers that he’d lately verified its “factual basis,” thanks in part to a “charming and cultivated American priest [in Haiti] who educated boys for export.” During a visit to the island, the author also enjoyed a “tour of the house of Monsieur G., who was in the business of cultivating, training, and exporting comely lads.” At a party at G.’s house, one of the other guests, a Frenchman, explains why he is visiting Haiti—because “his insomnia required two black boys every evening, two different ones each night.” (He had tried Calcutta, the Frenchman explained, but the boys were “ pas suffisament fonces”—not dark enough.)

And on the worldly story went, with yet more Scotch poured by yet more houseboys in white shorts, and “other fun . . . preceding the orgy” that night (before which the author allegedly departed). In sum, “On Truth and Fiction”—which appeared at the height of the AIDS crisis, a time when Haitian boy prostitutes were dying by the boatload—was a horror. But it is also a perfect instantiation of the kind of pedophilia chic that only a few years ago raised no eyebrows whatsoever in certain enlightened places.

Once again, that kind of nod to pederasty would be far less likely to make the pages of any magazine sold in public today. In fact, if such a piece were to appear, it would excite plenty of comment—including calls for international investigation and prosecution of some of the characters in the tale. As if to clinch the point, the same Nation magazine that published such nonchalant reportage about pedophile sex tourism twenty years ago also happened this fall to publish one of the more blistering pieces on the Polanski matter—a column by feminist Katha Pollitt that was catapulted into heavy circulation on the Internet. Hollywood’s apologism for the director, she concluded, “shows the liberal cultural elite at its preening, fatuous worst. . . . No wonder Middle America hates them.”

So what happened to turn yesterday’s “intergenerational sex” into today’s bipartisan demands to hang Roman Polanski and related offenders high? Mainly, it appears, what happened was something unexpected and momentous: the Catholic priest scandals of the early years of this decade, which for two ­reasons have profoundly changed the ground rules of what can—and can’t—be said in public about the seduction and rape of the young.

First, the scandals made clear that one point was no longer in dispute: The sexual abuse of the young leaves real and lasting scars. In the years before the scandals, as the foregoing examples and many others show, a number of writers contested exactly that. Today, however—thanks to a great many victims testifying otherwise in the course of the priest scandals—it’s hard to imagine them daring to do the same.

All those grown men breaking down on camera as they looked back on their childhood, describing in heartrending testimony what it meant to be robbed of their innocence: It will take a long time to wipe such powerful images from the public mind again. At least for now, no one would dare declare that the victims had gotten what was coming to them, or that they had somehow asked for it, or that seduction by an adult wasn’t as bad as all that—three notions that were most definitely making the rounds before the scandals broke. Moreover, that the vast majority of victims were male—81 percent, according to the definitive study by the John Jay College of Criminal Justice—proved a particularly potent antidote to the poison about boys that had been circulating earlier.

In a fascinating bit of moral jujitsu, the scandals helped in a second way to repair the preexisting public consensus against sex with minors. Naturally enough, throughout the scandals and beyond, the spectacle of priests committing crimes proved irresistible to the people who already hate the Catholic Church. Also attracted by the fray were other, more refined souls who simply wish the Church ill as a matter of habit because they want it to conform more to what they mean by Catholic. And so, throughout the scandals, both subsets of Church detractors—non-Catholic anti-Catholics and anti-Church-hierarchy Catholics—took every opportunity to excoriate the institution and claim the moral high ground for themselves.

There was plenty of high ground for them to claim. Some Church officials stupidly played ostrich about the scandals. Others formally or informally cooperated in the evil of the crimes. With so much blame to go around, critics from all directions could hardly be faulted for turning the scandals into an opportunity to air every other grievance they harbored about Christianity—most especially, about its traditional teachings on sexual morality.

Yet this hate-fest on the Catholic Church in the name of the priest–boy scandals, rollicking though it was for some, came with blowback: It prospectively cast all those enlightened people into a new role as defenders of the young and innocent. In other words, it logically created a whole new class of anti-pederasts. And since the Church’s harshest critics are, generally speaking, the same sort of enlightened folks from whom pedophilia chic had floated up, there lurked in all of this a contradiction. After all, one could either point to the grave moral wrong of what the offending priests had done— or one could minimize the suffering of the victims, as apologists for pedophilia had been doing before the scandals broke. But one could not plausibly do both any more, at least not in public. And so, in a way that could not have been predicted, but that is obviously all to the good, the priest scandals made it impossible to take that kinder, gentler look at the question of sex with youngsters that some salonistes of a few years back had been venturing.

Look, for a contrast, at Europe. Why, following Polanski’s arrest, did some among the continent’s elite—along with Europeanized Americans, like many in Hollywood—take a blasé view of child rape? The most obvious answer remains the priest scandals, which America suffered in far greater numbers than did Europe. The scandals operated here as a lustration not only of the Church and its seminaries but also of public opinion—including the public declarations of the most secular of commentators.

Before cheering for this unexpected and welcome new order, we should bear in mind certain other truths. First, to say that the double standard concerning sexual exploitation of the young has eroded markedly is not to say that it has disappeared altogether. Consider, for example, the Obama administration’s controversial appointment of Kevin Jennings—founder of the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network—as “safe schools” czar.

As conservative groups have repeatedly pointed out, Jennings as a principal once failed to report sexual contact between a sixteen-year-old male student and an older man; and he also has praised as his personal inspiration one Harry Hay, a fabled gay-rights activist who numerous times defended a place at the public table for the North American Man–Boy Love Association. The point for our purposes is obvious: Had any similar candidate for Jenning’s appointment overlooked a similar act of sex or seduction involving a teenaged girl, or publicly praised a known defender of a pedophile organization aimed at girls, his nomination would not have gotten off square one. Hence, in some places, a double standard lingers on.

Second, globalization appears to be making sex crimes against the young ever easier. Consider the recent exposure in France of Fréderic Mitterand—the minister of culture who was one of Polanski’s leading defenders—as a sex tourist whose autobiographical novel speaks frankly of his use of boy prostitutes in Thailand. (“I got in the habit of paying for boys,” he explains.) Along with those who don’t believe sex with minors is all that bad, there are others who are actively pursuing children, whether in person or in cyberspace.

Third, there remain prominent salons where pedophilia has not lost its chicness. Witness the louche reaction to the Polanski case emanating from most of Hollywood. It was as if someone had brought to life novelist Bruce Wagner’s ferociously depressing 1996 novel I’m Losing You, a horrifying but largely believable depiction of Hollywood decadence in which child molestation figures large. As Jonah Goldberg notes, the apologism for Polanski has been interesting in its own right as “a dye marker, ‘lighting up’ a whole archipelago of morally wretched people.”

Even so, let’s welcome the good news whenever we can get it. The public furor this fall over Roman Polanski’s rape of a thirteen-year-old girl many years ago has forcefully revealed that, in most of America, yesterday’s itinerant savoir-faire about sex with minors has been pushed from the mainstream and forced back underground. It is a consensus that did not exist in such force a decade ago, and the priest scandals are largely responsible for it.

If there’s a clearer case of good coming out of evil lately, it will take some time to think of one. Meanwhile we can be thankful, at least for now, for something that so often eludes the world—a case of small but real moral progress that bodes a little better for the youngest and most innocent among us.

Mary Eberstadt is a research fellow at the Hoover Institution, contributing writer for First Things, and author, most recently, of The Loser Letters: A Comic Tale of Life, Death, and Atheism, forthcoming from Ignatius Press in spring 2010.

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Comments:

11.19.2009 | 3:25pm
Sean says:
One thing this article, along with all the other commentary on Polanski, forgot to do, was using the reaction against him to question the arbitrariness of the sexual liberation worldview. Why doesn't the same restriction-dissolving logic that in a single generation turned homosexuality from a deviant, perverse, etc. lifestyle to a favorite theme for pop culture celebration also apply to pedophilia?

11.19.2009 | 3:25pm
tom jones says:
Perhaps, but have a look at this article on Alan Bennett:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/20/arts/20iht-lon20.html?_r=1&hpw

Note the judgement free use of the phrase "ancillary caring services"....

Without a basis for morality outside itself, the secular world is liable to be at least indecisive on right & wrong.

11.19.2009 | 7:14pm
i am john g says:
One point I couldn't find in this article is the fact that Polanski is a foreigner; never was an American citizen. One doesn't need a private eye from The Nation to guess that there was a reason Polanski thought Jack Nicholson's house a safe haven for his crime, even with Angelica Houston on site. Nicholson, however, is revered as an American "stud" and a connoisseur of transgressive sex. As a sidenote - here, in Poland, although the public is overwhelmingly against Polanski in this case, the media were less outspoken in criticising him (and Poland had some time ago its own nation-scale pedophile scandals, with similair effects on the permissiveness of the topic as are mentioned in the article here).

11.20.2009 | 12:58am
Paul Freedman says:
This is a very strange article on a second read. Selective quotes aside, the cited historical gender distinction in societal permissiveness towards sexual relations with minors is a conceit if not perverse.

11.20.2009 | 1:46pm
Jon Rowe says:
While Eberstadt's narrative is provocative, from a socio-historical perspective, it's completely and utterly false.

As I understand the tale, traditional moral norms have been eroded since the 1960s watershed -- fornication, homosexuality, adultery, and now perhaps pedophilia (with homosexuals leading the way for pedophilia).

But there is NOTHING "chic" about almost all of the examples she raises and terms "pedophilia."

It might be true if it were all sex between adults and prepubscent children -- that I think is and has been a "marker of right and wrong in a world where other markers have been erased.”

But almost all of her examples involve post-pubescent teens and there is nothing "chic" about them being sex-able.

In fact, the opposite is true -- the post 1960s world has seen an average INCREASE in "age of consent laws."

13 or 14 historically, traditionally and legally been an acceptable age for marriage and hence sex.

And THAT hits on the reason for the change. When fornication was stigmatized, fathers and older brothers protected the chastity of their daughters and sisters. And if she got pregnant a marriage ensued (sometimes at the point of a shotgun).

With fornication no longer stigmatized (and more fatherlessness) younger teen girls became more susceptible to sexual exploitation (a shocking number of abortions that young teen girls have involve men over 18). Hence the legal and social standard for when girls are "sex-able" had to raise to closer to 18.

But the idea that a 13 year old girl having sex with someone 18 or over is "pedophilia" is what is "chic" and "novel." I would agree that it's wrong, but not part of some clinical sexual disorder.

Loretta Lynn's husband and Jerry Lee Lewis were not viewed as "pedophiles" for being in marriages where one party was an adult, the other a 13-year-old girl (as both were in the conservative South in the 1950s).

11.21.2009 | 12:43am
Ryan Haber says:
Paul Freedman,

I am not sure I understand your comment. In fact, I may entirely misunderstand you.

I do not think Ms. Eberstadt wrote that there was *societal* permissiveness toward either homosexual or heterosexual abuse of children. I understood the article as speaking to *elite culture's* view of the two crimes and noting that among high culture, abuse of girls was never tolerated, whereas among the same people, abuse of boys was becoming, gradually, seen as acceptable.

Mainstream American culture, I think Ms. Eberstadt takes for granted, has always seen both homosexual and heterosexual abuse of minors as detestable.

Twos reasons come to mind immediately as a possible reasons why one should be accepted among high culture, and the other rejected. Predation of girls by men is, of course, an example of male domination and exploitation of females; the feminism popular (in Hollywood certainly) rightly recognizes this fact. Adolescent boys being preyed upon by grown men, however, was probably gaining acceptance in such minds as homosexuality was gaining victim status. That is, as it became incorrect among such people to say boo about homosexuals, it became incorrect to say boo about the things they do. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," is a sly phrase that's no longer bandied about much because it's taken for granted.

Ryan Haber
Kensington, Maryland

11.21.2009 | 4:27pm
Charles Green says:
While I certainly don't advocate sexual relationships between adults and children, I'm uncomfortable with Ms. Eberstadt's suggestion that forcing a discussion of pedophilia "back underground" is a good thing. One of the signs of a healthy democracy is the ability to discuss ideas openly and honestly, even if some of these ideas strike many of us as reprehensible. After all, if we can seriously talk about whether President Obama was truly born in the United States, and therefore able to assume the duties of office, why can't we consider some of the reasoned arguments that some forms of pederasty (as practiced in ancient Greece, for example) aren't necessarily harmful?

11.21.2009 | 10:41pm
Neek says:
Mr. Green,

It seems to me that a society which takes up all manner of social perversions as part of "reasonable" discourse no longer possesses any common sense.

For example, should a deliberative democracy such as ours take up the question as to whether we should kill all people named Charles Green, I would hope that we all--including you!--would encourage such questions be abandoned, if not pushed underground.

11.22.2009 | 2:21pm
JLA says:
Sean,
There is nothing arbitrary about the distinction between homosexuality and pedophilia. The former involves a consensual relationship between two adults, while the latter involves a child who is considered to be incapable of informed consent.
I do think, however, that statutory rape and physical rape are not equally offensive. Polanski didn't seduce a thirteen year old, he drugged her and used his size and strength to force her against her protests. I would still condemn Polanski for having pressured a thirteen year old, but not nearly as harshly as I do for what he actually did.

11.22.2009 | 4:29pm
Nick Bauman says:
I generally agree with the article's point - that pedophilia is seen as an abhorrent act by the full political spectrum, both inside and outside the church. Certainly this view is "real moral progress."

But what I hope the Church might be best able to offer is a way in which pedophiles ('scum of scum' sometimes implied by the unanimity voiced above) are able to be integrated back into society without the creation of further child victims. Avoiding further acts of victimization may require recognition of the humanity of a pedophile, and their need for practical support and strong boundaries as they integrate responsibly. In some instances the Church is instrumental in this process. (See for instance: http://peace.fresno.edu/cosa/) This is not 'pedophilia chic', but a recognition that even pedophiles should be viewed as 'one of the least of these'. (Mt 25:40)

11.23.2009 | 2:53pm
a@b.cx says:
There is another factor: a rise of the voice of commoner. Blogosphere gave immediate voice and means to coalesce to common sense reactions that heretofore were dissipated in a kitchen talk. An elite could dictate a discourse and push through their predilections until very recently. Now, as in other areas of discourse, democracy through blogosphere pushed back, vehemently and immediately, neutralising and often reverting first voice advantage of elite-beholden MSM.

11.23.2009 | 3:26pm
jemimah says:
Great observations - I don't quite agree that Polanski is hapless (unlucky). I was surprised at the omission of reference to Dr. Judith Reisman's published body of evidence regarding Alfred C. Kinsey's promotion of intergenerational sex; Dr. Reisman's research in this area is quite compelling and supportive of your observations. Dr. Reisman's scientific finding that the homosexual movement poses a threat to children, especially dark skinned children, is irrefutable.

Anecdotally I can attest to the fact that there has been quite a bit of indoctrination toward acceptance of pedohilia, especially with dark skinned boys as the targets. I once went to a sitting mayor of my hometown about the local government funding a known pedophile as director of a youth employment program; the mayor flippantly responded that he, the mayor, had no problem with the youth director liking 'to mess with little boys'. Since then we uncovered a pedophile ring of tremendous proportion involving high ranking government officials in and around Lexington, Kentucky.

Indeed, it was refreshing to observe a near unanimous outcry against Polanski's crimes and likewise I found Obama's appointment of Jennings as safe school czar scandalous.

11.23.2009 | 9:16pm
Bill Hendrickson says:
The invariable cycle of condemned sin vs. loved sinner was only a part of the text. The remarkable point was that some good had come from the seemingly all-bad of the priestly sex scandal that has wrought such breath-taking public horror, and such non-partisan reprobation. The author is exactly correct in her astonishment at the sudden application of a moral absolute by a culture brazenly commited to the private right of citizens to do anything.

11.24.2009 | 1:28am
el polacko says:
it may suprise some people, but boys and girls tend to approach sexual matters differently. as a thirteen-year-old boy, i was most definitely the sexual agressor (what does everybody think that puberty IS??) and, thanks to that, i have some terrific memories of encounters with folks older than myself and not a single regret. sure, we want to go after exploiters and abusers, but it's ridiculous to think that we can keep the lid on boiling cauldrons of sexual energy until the pot is 18 or 21-years-old and/or married. rather than all this moralizing, how about if we, finally, take a more realistic look at sexual development and activity? it's really not as scary as some people make it out to be.

11.24.2009 | 3:47am
AJL says:
Perhaps it is the fact that no one here has actually counseled anyone that was sexually abused as a child. I can tell you that in many, many cases, male or female, that the victim suffers tremendously from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, fractured personalities and all kind of other problems including sexual disfunction of all kinds. I would love to see the death penalty applied to some abusers because they have basically killed the person that was abused. And it is not entirely true to say that all homosexual behavior is only between adults. To say that is to not understand the very desire of the homosexual culture and it's pre-occupation with the young boy being deflowered at younger and younger ages. This kind of violence against children is abhorrent and should not be winked at and thought entertaining. So, unless you have talked at length with the victims, you can't truly appreciate the far reaching consequences of this kind of predatory behaviors. And by the way, "child" could even mean someone that is sixteen. A child's brain and decision making capabilities are not completely developed until at least age 18 but mostly age 19 to 20. Even thinking that a child of teenage years is completely capable of making these kinds of emotional decisions on their own under the pressure of a skilled predatory adult is just plain wrong. And to the young man that was sexually active at 13...Why? What were you really looking for? Sounds like you never found it in any lasting way. I am hoping that you will find the peace that you were searching for in sex in something that will last.

11.24.2009 | 12:47pm
Steve Redder says:
I have spoken to a number of victims of pedophilia and one perpetrator prior to has arraignment. The conversation I had in lock up with the perpetrator was very insightful--I shall not go into details, but the take home lesson was that he was raped as a child. That is the common theme in adult male on pre-pubescent/pubescent male sexual assault. They were victims of male on male sexual assault. And sadly all of the victims I have spoken with are psychologically scared for life. But why do some rape victims replicate their sexual assault and why do others move beyond it ? As a Christian who very much believes in the spirit world and therefore demons and angels. consequently, I have to conclude that once a child is defiled in this manner a demon is attached to the young victim. It is a spiritual battle that must be waged to combat this great evil.

11.24.2009 | 3:14pm
PJ says:
Mary, you should note that TV's Glee is carrying on the normalization of pedophilia. "Sandy" the teacher is portrayed as an accused pedophile, and he often has his hands on the boys.

Awful.

11.24.2009 | 4:36pm
Lavaux says:
Adults having sex with minors is the next domino to fall. Everything before that is already normal. This domino won't fall as Ms. Eberstad presumes, though. Instead, the push will come from the other direction, i.e. from teenagers demanding sexual emancipation at earlier ages to explore the libertine sexual practices the culture is selling them.

11.24.2009 | 6:41pm
maria says:
there are so many of us who simply don't like living in a world where absolutely anything can be condoned. Man must have laws and rules and those who seek to destroy boundaries should think twice.

11.24.2009 | 7:31pm
Sean says:
JLA,

I understand that we're talking about two different kinds of relationships, one of which is defined as legal because it takes place between two 'consenting' adults, the other being illegal because one of the parties is legally incapable of giving 'consent.' That's easy enough to take care of - all we have to do is re-define minors legally such that they can give their 'consent'. It's just a matter of redefining the relationship in terms that make it legal - much like what we did with homosexuality. :)

11.24.2009 | 7:36pm
Lavaux says:
I sort of agree with Lavaux, but not entirely. I think it'll be the next domino in that the age ranges in consent laws will slowly widen over the decades until people we consider to young to be getting married or having sex will be doing both with people we consider too old to be messing with them. Like any gay activist will tell you, it's all about slowly normalizing the behavior.

11.25.2009 | 7:49am
Lavaux says:
el polacko wrote:

"it may suprise some people, but boys and girls tend to approach sexual matters differently. as a thirteen-year-old boy, i was most definitely the sexual agressor (what does everybody think that puberty IS??) and, thanks to that, i have some terrific memories of encounters with folks older than myself and not a single regret. sure, we want to go after exploiters and abusers, but it's ridiculous to think that we can keep the lid on boiling cauldrons of sexual energy until the pot is 18 or 21-years-old and/or married. rather than all this moralizing, how about if we, finally, take a more realistic look at sexual development and activity? it's really not as scary as some people make it out to be."

See what I mean? The advocates for normalizing sex between adults and kids are now working the kids' side of the street. Hollywood is already well established there, and they've been selling libertine sexual content targeted at kids for decades. Public schools are getting into the business in a big way, with SIECUS leading the way. According to SIECUS, kids have the following sex rights, inter alia:

1. The right to accurate information about sexuality;
2. The right to express their sexuality, including styles of clothes, dance, music and expression;
3. The right to make decisions about sexuality, including if and how to physically express it;
4. The right of protection against pregnancy and STDs.

A few observations.

Regarding right no. 1, the accuracy of the information about sexuality that Hollywood, SIECUS and public schools provide kids as opposed to what their parents tell them is subject to dispute. Consequently, right no. 1 appoints kids as the final arbiter on issues of sex despite their inability to do so. This undermines parents' heretofore inviolate right to raise their children according to their own beliefs and consciences while tending to pit kids & the culture against parents on issues of sex.

Regarding right no. 2, recall that the U.S. Supreme Court classified pornography as "expression" protected by the first amendment. As a result, the multi-billion dollar American porn industry has contributed mightily to the radical sexualization of American culture. It is therefore no coincidence that SIECUS refers to the sexual behaviors and activities of minors as "expression".

Right no. 3 flies in the face of current state and federal laws recognizing and enforcing parents' rights and obligations to make binding decisions concerning their kids' sexual behaviors and activities while protecting kids from the sexual advances and contact with non-guardian adults. Therefore, SIECUS is lying to kids, endowing them with legally unrecognized authority while aligning it against their parents' lawful authority.

Right no. 4 assures kids that their right to have sex absolute and inviolable, giving rise to their ancillary right to employ protections against the consequences of the sex they have.

The foregoing provides just a fleeting glance at the activities of the forces arrayed against you, your children, their well-being, and your orthodox Christian beliefs and conscience. Parents, you've got a lot of work to do. Christians, we've been asleep at the switch far too long.

11.25.2009 | 1:42pm
maddog says:
I too have counseled and worked with adults who were abused as children, and also with young teens. I agree with AJL, although I am not sure about the death penalty.

As el Polacko observes, a very small percentage of teenagers are ready for sex, or at least think they are ready. The FBI statistics have remained stable for the last 30 years, showing that 7 percent of 13 year olds have had voluntary sex, usually with other young teenagers, and specifically excluding adult sexual contact. However, the damage done to the majority is so horrendous that society has decided to forbid adult/child sexual contact entirely, rightfully so in my experience.

If those laws and taboos are relaxed, some adults will find a way to pressure or "seduce" children who are not ready, and will get away with doing that damage legally.

On the other hand, there is the problem of the demonizing of child sex offenders. In addition to making it impossible to mainstream them (often not possible, it must be noted), this demonizing makes adult males very cautious about ANY contact with children. In a case in Australia, an obviously lost 3 year old was hit by a car, and at least three men observed that they didn't help because they were afraid of being involved.

Don't have a solution. Wish I did.

11.27.2009 | 8:10pm
David Alexander says:
Gilbert Meilaender's book Neither Beast Nor God nicely fits into the discussion of pedophilia and it's justifiers with his lucid argument against the notion of mere autonomy as a sufficient leitmotif that trumps human dignity in ethics. We must retain the recognition as a people that a person can debase themselves and their dignity by their choices and that because a thing involved choice of a kind (for instance like those choices made by the one who spoke in this thread of his adolescent sexual experiences in a positive fashion) is not enough to determine whether a behavior is right or wrong. A Gnostic, nihilistic, purely negative freedom is stealing into the very core of how Americans define themselves and that will allow, it seems to me, for future promotion of pedophilia by focusing on cases where a child may seem to assent to sexual abuse.

11.28.2009 | 11:35am
David Nickol says:
Eberstadt says: "Yet this hate-fest on the Catholic Church in the name of the priest–boy scandals, rollicking though it was for some, came with blowback . . . "

It is interesting that in all the debate from commenters, the idea that the Church has been a *victim* of the sex-abuse scandals has not been challenged. The whole abuse-crisis is all but dismissed in one paragraph:

Eberstadt says: "There was plenty of high ground for them to claim. Some Church officials stupidly played ostrich about the scandals. Others formally or informally cooperated in the evil of the crimes. With so much blame to go around, critics from all directions could hardly be faulted for turning the scandals into an opportunity to air every other grievance they harbored about Christianity—most especially, about its traditional teachings on sexual morality."

Many would say that the "some Church officials" who "stupidly played ostrich" (or worse) would include Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI and Archbishop Burke, now Prefect of the Apostolic Signatura. But let's keep the focus on Roman Polanski, NAMBLA, and the "intelligentsia"!

11.28.2009 | 12:30pm
Sam says:
An independent survey found that homosexuality was involved in the majority of 'pedophilia' cases involving Priests or seminarians in the Catholic church. This is still a terrible thing but why has the mainstream media focused only on the Catholic Church? It has been proven, again by independent research, that pedophilia is rampant in other mainstream Churches and synagogues...yet this is kept under cover.

11.28.2009 | 3:19pm
Elvis says:
David--

You say, "Many would say..." How many, exactly? I've never found that locution helpful to good debate. If it is true that many would say X, I can almost guarantee you that it is also true that many would say not X. So where does that get us? On the other hand, if you can say, I believe X, and I believe X because of Y and Z, well, now you've said something that we can sink our teeth into.

.
11.28.2009 | 7:53pm
David Alexander says:
There is a justification of pedophilia by NAMBLA, and the "intelligentsia", as Mrs. Eberstadt pointed out, and in the case of Roman Polanski there was a kind of push in the European reaction for in effect a normalization, or a subordination and downplaying of the evil. Turning a blind eye is an evil which aids and abets the perpetration of the evil but there is a difference of kind. There is a powerful internal element in the Church in the adherence to Scripture and the authority of Christ which, allowed its place, acts powerfully to counteract the evil. Although I am not a Catholic and do not understand the ban on marriage among priests, I have highest regard for their clear and strong theological and authoritatively backed opposition to pedophilia and I respect the way for instance the pope addressed the grave issue in his talk in DC recently. I wonder too how much the Church as such a large association is easier to isolate and attack because of the incidents that occur within the whole sweep of its parishes, and that it is the more disgusting because it is a violation of its deepest tenants. I wonder too how much the semi-rebel nature of the American Catholic Church has contributed to the incidents rather than the strict adherence to the authority of the papacy, etc. I also think that there is a good basis for calling people to examine unbridled condemnation of the Catholic Church in the wake of the scandals. The movie Doubt nicely raises the question of human fallibility and a witch hunt mentality on exactly this issue.

11.29.2009 | 1:30am
Steve says:
I think there needs to be some line drawn between people who lust for children (prepubescent) and people who lust for non-child minors (pubescent to age 18), at least as far as moral condemnation goes. The former is sick, no arguments there. The latter though is a more natural urge, especially for men. There are solid biological reasons why a heterosexual man would desire, say, a 16 year old girl (i.e. more years of fertility). Indeed, several hundred years ago, it wasn't uncommon for girls to be married off at 15 or 16.

Of course, this isn't to say that we should condone sexual relationships between adult men and 16 year old girls. There is still a problem with this. As noted above, mental abilities aren't fully developed until some time in one's 20s for most people, so it might be difficult to say that a 16 year old has really consented. Indeed, this has always been recognized; even 500 years ago, when a girl that age was married, it required the consent of her parents.

The real problems are sexualization of the culture and a lack of parental involvement in marital decisions. As someone posted above, we can't realistically expect people to be celibate into their 20s. The average age of first menstruation for girls is 12.5. The average age of first marriage in the US is 25.6 for women. To expect these girls to forgo sex for 13 years, especially while being bombarded with hypersexual media content on a daily basis, is a herculean task!

My solution: People should marry much younger (like 17 or 18), though with parental consent (ideally with parents arranging marriages to some extent), and there should be much, much less sex in the media. Now, if someone could just figure how to implement these ideas...

11.29.2009 | 4:29pm
Gil Costello says:
For me Mary Eberstadt’s “How Pedophilia Lost Its Cool” is a miracle. It’s still difficult to grasp that what she has written is actually in print. Mainstream media just doesn’t want to explore it.
I grew up in a violent environment, my dad coming close to killing me at age 5, 8 and 15. At 15, after being unconscious in the basement for three days from one of his beatings, my mom told me I had to leave and never return.
I was one of many street kids in my neighborhood who sold their flesh to gay men beginning at age 12, and all of us came from violent households: we just tried to stay away from home for as long as we could. We had two choices for survival: steal or sell our flesh to gay men. Our fear of reformatories usually had us opt for the latter.
I think it important to distinguish between pedophilia and ephebophilia. The former involves adults who sexually obsess on prepubescent children, and the latter on pubescent children. Pedophiles long for human sexual objects where there is no libido engagement on the part of the child. I believe this involves the desire by the adult to have absolute control over the sex object. The ephebophile needs libido engagement from the child to feed his/her fantasy of sexual equality and thus seeks out pubescent children. They thrive on the fantasy that there is an intentional sexual response from the children.
When we sold our flesh to ephebophile gay men, we were sometimes paid to also listen to and acknowledge as true their justifications for their behavior. There were three main ones: 1)They were there to help us when no one else cared, and why not in the process help us discover sexual freedom?; 2) help us discover that we were in fact gay but in denial, and that we chose to sell our flesh to inadvertently discover our true sexual identities; and 3) they were exceptional men with exceptional gifts [mostly artist types] and that by sexual engagement with children, the children would somehow begin to take on the superior characteristics of the adults.
The 3rd type would reference ancient Greek culture, where militarists, philosophers, scientists, artists and other cultural elites would dominate the child sexually, which opened the child up to receive the personalities of the adults, thereby bettering the lives of the children. It’s a way of a man having children in his image and likeness without involving an actual birthing process.
There is no question in my mind that these gay men are intentionally going into schools and prepping boys for sexual encounters with adults. Why would Kevin Jennings report a case of an adult engaging a 16-year-old boy in a sexual act when he sees it in a positive light? He no doubt wants to lower the age where adults can engage children in sex as many other high-profile gay men do. For example, Elton John and George Michaels, who held a concert to raise money for lawyers who are seeking to lower the age of sexual consent between adults and children: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=17268

11.29.2009 | 4:38pm
james walleye says:
Allen Ginsberg anybody? The Haight-Ashbury Poet de jour...traveling to Tunisia for "easy boy" sex? The oldsters (Men) looked away 'cause they'd gotten to them first....(another ? for another day)

11.29.2009 | 4:52pm
Gil Costello says:
I want to thank AJL for his comments, especially his kind words to the 13-year-old. Kids 13 and older, especially street kids, like to imagine they are in control of their lives, and predators take advantage of that. And through repetition, a child can go on living the delusion for many years: he doesn't want to admit that he had been so fragile, naive and lost.

Also, I think we got to seriously question the accepted notion that adults molest children because they were molested. This wrongly accuses those of us who were molested or in other ways used sexually by adults as children as potential threats to children. More and more researches are discovering that porn more than any other factor is what leads adults on to sexually molesting children.

11.29.2009 | 5:41pm
Gil Costello says:
Tennessee Williams was able to fathom the depths of the horror the horror of adults engaging children in sex, especially Third World poor children, and wrote about it in what I consider his confessional play, "Suddenly Last Summer". Jennifer Bachwal allowed Allen Ginsberg (card-carrying member of NAMBLA) to talk freely about his pursuit of child flesh in Morocco in her film "Let it come down: the Life of Paul Bowles", and there he complains how after purchasing the flesh of a child, the child had given him crabs and had the audacity to come back the next day begging Ginsberg to help his younger brother who was ill. Ginsberg felt used by the child. That Ginsberg felt free to talk honestly about his pursuit of child flesh speaks volumes about where we have culturally journeyed since the onslaught of the sexual revolution.

11.29.2009 | 10:10pm
malthus says:
It cannot be stressed too often that most abusers of children are those in positions of trust, only few of whom are priests. That fact is not reflected in prison statistics.

11.30.2009 | 10:47am
Roger Stenson says:
Mrs. Eberstadt’s account of the fickleness of the APA, or one of them – there are two: the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association – deserves more nods.

“The world is run by those who show up,” and the membership/leadership of these organizations are comprised of the MDs and PhDs most politicized. Unfortunately, it is the radicals who show up.

How is it that abortionists are putatively the bottom rung of the medical ladder, eschewed by other doctors, while the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the professional association run by abortion providers/advocates, proudly wears its support for abortion on its sleeve? It’s the politics.

As seen in these pages (“Surgical Sex,” November 2004), Johns Hopkins stopped performing “sex change” surgery, having recognized that the desire to be another sex was pathological, and that accommodating the desire was to participate in a sick mutilation. Inmates running the asylum.

Cute movie that it was, The King of Hearts developed into a manifesto among the Seventies’ Hard Left outside and inside the mental health professions. Akin to William Shatner’s resuscitation, one may remind, “Listen, everybody. It’s fiction. Get a life.”

I asked a Navy psychiatrist in the early 1980s how the American Psychiatric Association could have declassified homosexuality from the aberrant. The light-bulb event had occurred in the 1970s, I recall. What was the justification for the APA’s new position? He said, “Roger, we call them the ‘GayPA’.” Enough said.

Earlier, about three years so, another doctor-friend had joined his local AMA chapter, telling me its members were the “political” ones.

It’s the radicals who show up, approving fictions.

11.30.2009 | 5:57pm
Z Wang says:
Thank you, Mrs. Eberstadt, for this informative piece on the issue of pedophilia. As I have pondered how the consensus has arisen in the past few decades on the evils of pedophilia, I wonder if the consensus is attributable to a "moral denominator" effect. What I mean by this is that in an age where sexuality is so rampantly exploited, secular norms must grapple with some type of moral line. If not the violation of the highest value in secular society, i.e. autonomy, what then? The response to this, it appears, is found in the pieces Mrs. Eberstadt mentions from the decade's past. If my belief in this "moral denominator" is correct, what where was the consensus on the moral line back then?

11.30.2009 | 8:19pm
Gil Costello says:
Z Wang - something to ponder from your question: There was a time when sex offenders were pariah in reformatories and prisons, but now many of them are admired by fellow prisoners. We have not taken notice how the principles of Foucault & Company have filtered down from the high heavens of universities, taking their place in popular culture. The highest morality now is the one that any person invents to service his own needs, what we call moral relativity.

I also want to correct Steve's faulty logic. He writes, "I think there needs to be some line drawn between people who lust for children (prepubescent) and people who lust for non-child minors (pubescent to age 18), at least as far as moral condemnation goes." This is the logic of many adults seeking child flesh. They figure if only they pursue child flesh in its pubescent stage they are morally neutral. Steve is convinced that a 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17 year old is not a child. He must never have had children.

11.30.2009 | 10:10pm
David Alexander says:
Thank you, Mr. Costello, for your openness about your experience and your articulate, thoughtful and compassionate engagement on this issue. I will send your comments to a young man with a similar past. I wonder what you think about the sharp division of homosexuality and pedophilia generally propounded in the popular press.
Thank you, Mrs. Eberstadt. I have benefited greatly from your articles in First Things, including other articles written which dealt with this topic... There is one that stands out in my memory in which she suggested that the problems adherent to homosexuality, such as depression and substance abuse, once homosexuality reaches a level of more or less homogenous acceptance, will not go away or be explainable away as minority stress, etc.and this will eventually cause a societal backlash. I also enjoyed reading her recent First Things article What Women Want and the two main articles she cited in that article. I am struck by how much the very institution of marriage is now being called into question on an intellectual level and not just a moral level and with that how children are being left more and more vulnerable as there become less and less secure and nurturing nest conditions. Arrangements of trust are inevitable and necessary to live with. Transient "commitments" are not safe.

12.1.2009 | 1:14am
Gil Costello says:
Mr. Alexander - thank you for your encouraging words. Mainstream media's commitment to gay ideology means they are committed to a relentless obfuscation of the gay lifestyle. Even when gay ideologues like the articulate Andrew Sullivan get in mainstream media's face supporting aspects of the gay lifestyle that should frighten us, they continue the obfuscation. It's a fundamental commitment to a lie similar to how the intellectual left of the '50s and '60s, with Jean Paul Sartre leading the charge, supported the lie that Stalin, Mao and Che were the trinitarian saviors of humanity. It's simply a matter of once you're in, it's difficult to admit you have been such a fool, that you have been duped so thoroughly. That's why I experience Ms. Eberstadt's article as a miracle. It's the Emperor's New Clothes revisited. Someone at some point just has to say it.

I am reluctant to associate pedophilia with homosexuality because the thrust of gay ideology in its sexual obsession with youth in my opinion involves children who are pubescent, although one can't forget that before the UN in 1995 declared that adults engaging children sexually under age 16 is criminal, many Gay Pride parades embraced NAMBLA. My focus is on gay leadership's commitment to legally sanctioning an adult's access to the flesh of pubescent children, which involves ephebophilia, what I consider endemic to the gay lifestyle, regardless how many gays insist they have no desire for child flesh, and how they are advancing their cause most successfully in our schools, as evidenced by Kevin Jennings.

An interesting fact of media's obfuscation was its continued insistence that the majority of Catholic priests in the sex scandal involved pedophiles (which technically would mean that they were psychologically neither gay nor straight) when in fact they were gay ephebophiles. If that fact had been explored it would have soon been discovered that the offenders were mostly gay because they, contrasted with hetero priests, believed their very identities were threatened if they didn't engage someone sexually.

Another interesting fact concerning obfuscation of the gay lifestyle is the literary revisionist history children are being inundated with these days. For example, they are told in articles and films that Oscar Wilde was persecuted and imprisoned because of his committed relationship to another man, Lord Alfred Douglas, but in fact there was much more to the story, including the revelation that Wilde and Douglas weren't involved sexually, that they as a couple obsessed on acquiring "rent boys" to engage in sex. Not to in any way agree with the persecution of Wilde, but that the truth of his and Douglas' obsession with boys speaks more accurately the nature of his sexuality.

12.1.2009 | 1:03pm
Lavaux says:
Mr. Costello wrote that "I think it important to distinguish between pedophilia and ephebophilia." My question is, distinguish how - legally, morally or both?

If the distinction is to be made legally, then it must be made strictly by age for practical reasons. For example, in my state the crime of child rape does not distinguish between the mental states of pedophiles and ephebophiles. The reason for this is obvious: Adducing evidence relevant to whether a defendant's mental state was pedophilic or ephebophilic would turn a straightforward trial into a three ring circus. Therefore, the criminal code assigns lesser felonies and sentences depending on the age of the victim and relative age of the perpetrator. This would seem to serve the same end Mr. Costello proposes albeit poorly because the harm the crime causes varies from victim to victim.

The harm to victim. I just can't get past the harm to the victim or nature's demand that it be repaid in kind and in full measure. Therefore, I don't buy the argument that I should necessarily mitigate the moral opprobrium due an ephebophile based on the premise that his true intent is to help rather than harm his victim. Rather, I'm more open to mitigation based on the premise that the harm caused to older victims is usually less. But even this mitigation would be subject to withdrawal given that the harm the immoral act causes varies from victim to victim.

True, the harm to any one victim is difficult to measure and quantify and thus repay in kind and in full measure, particularly in the time frame immediate to the crime. But against this objection I would apply an analogy to the eggshell plaintiff rule: You take your victim as you find him, and kids are fragile.

12.1.2009 | 5:17pm
Steve says:
"This is the logic of many adults seeking child flesh. They figure if only they pursue child flesh in its pubescent stage they are morally neutral. Steve is convinced that a 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17 year old is not a child."

This is not what I said. My point was that many 12-17 year olds are not children in the purely physical sense, and, especially with females, so long as they are physically developed, it is not perverse or deviant (indeed it is quite natural) for a man to find them sexually attractive.

Of course there aren't many physically developed 12 year old girls, and there are quite a few physically developed 17 year old girls. Nevertheless, I think many of them are children mentally and emotionally. Therefore, as I said the first time, sexual relationships between them and anyone else shouldn't be encouraged; indeed, they should be illegal unless the girl is married with the consent of her parents, who are best able to judge her maturity.

In sum, it isn't deviant for a man to desire a 16 year old girl if she is physically developed, though it is still wrong for him to act upon those desires given the fact that she isn't likely to be mentally or emotionally mature enough to truly consent. On the other hand, if we are talking about an undeveloped prepubescent teen, then not only is the sexual act wrong, the desire itself is unnatural.

12.1.2009 | 9:45pm
Paul Freedman says:
Ryan, the "elite" defenders of Polanski, taken as a representative sample of presumed homosexual/enablers of male victim child sexual abuse, were not distinctively homosexual. The distinction in gender victim tolerance of underage sexual predation continues to be opaque.

12.1.2009 | 9:46pm
Gil Costello says:
Lavaux - I want to thank you for your analysis: I agree. And I hope you understand that when I say that an ephebophile imagines his intent is to help the child he is molesting, it is simply that: him deluding himself with his imagination to justify an immoral act. I don't in any way see this as a mitigating circumstance no more than I would the ephebophile who imagines he is infusing the child with his superior sense of himself when he engages the child in a sexual act.

You raise an important question: how are we to distinguish legally and morally between the sexual abuse of children by pedophiles and ephebophiles. You have already made some helpful suggestions, and it saddens me that we have arrived at this point. For me, a child is a child, and pedophilia stands for me as an apt description for predators who go after children. In fact, pubescent children are now more than ever being made to feel that they are the ones responsible for the damage done to them, even at times made to feel that they instigated it, which is a secondary psychological assault that makes the damage even more riddled with complexity. But the vanguards of the sexual revolution who are now firmly established as policy makers in politics, law, education and the social sciences have become masters at weaseling about in semantic arguments, and we must gracefully meet them on the turf they have taken control of.

12.1.2009 | 11:19pm
Gil Costello says:
Steve – it seems I will not change your mind about childhood, but please take note that there are ever escalating incidences of girls reaching puberty at age 10 – one more reason why, against popular culture, I am convinced a child is a child is a child. In any case, you are convinced that “…so long as they [12-17 year-old girls] are physically developed, it is not perverse or deviant (indeed it is quite natural) for a man to find them sexually attractive.” I am supposing that you mean by this that an adult can, given the right circumstances, engage a 12-17 year-old sexually because it is a natural attraction. This, for me, is a gnostic impulse, separating the physical from the gestalt of a person. Neuroscientists have proved that although a teen may appear in every way to a particular adult to be an adult, the frontal lobe (area of the brain that discerns) is not fully developed until a much later age, and therefore is susceptible to adult manipulations that cannot be discerned, and sexual engagement like no other time in history can lead to premature death and other forms of devastation.

An adult having sex with a 12 year-old is natural? Well…yes, and the reason the existence of First Things is so important for our culture, because the supernatural sense of things, i.e., a theological sense of things, cannot be separated from a secular sense of things. Otherwise we would quickly spiral into bloody anarchy. A fourteen-year-old boy in his raging hormones might sexually attack anything, even a tree!, and we would have to admit that it is natural. Unlike other animals, though, we humans have no record of having existence independent of a supernatural sense of things, and it is what has made civilizations possible. In Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address he states matter of factly that all men [humans] are created equal. But this opposes a solely natural perception, which would correctly observe that there is no equality but only a process of natural selection, i.e., survival of the fittest, our natural inclination. Conscience is a supernatural phenomenon, and the glue of all that has lasting goodness for the person and society. In other words, our glory is in a social conscience that often defies what is natural.

So you are correct: it isn’t naturally deviant for a man to lust after 12-17 year-olds who are apparently capable of sexual intercourse, but it has been supernaturally revealed to us as deviant and, ironically, the secular sciences, especially the neurosciences, have confirmed it.

12.2.2009 | 5:59pm
David Alexander says:
G Costello, I wonder what was the turning point for you in coming out of the childhood traumas and being able to engage in life as suggested by your articulate engagement here?

12.3.2009 | 2:09pm
Gil Costello says:
Mr. Alexander, this is an attempt at summarizing an answer to your question:

At age 8 I was a committed street kid, providing most of the care for my three sisters. At age 11, at 5:30 in the morning in the center of an ice skating pond in the woods alone, I cursed God and his darkness, a 180 degree turn from my faith to the dark side.

At age 17 I had to retire from child prostitution and turned exclusively to crime. At age 20 I was arrested on a conspiracy to commit bank robbery and homicide charge. I was given a maximum sentence of 28-30 years for 2nd degree homicide to be served in Trenton State Prison, New Jersey, which, at that time, 1968, was considered by Karl Menninger to be the worst prison in the United States. At my sentencing the judge quoted from a criminal psychiatrist’s report: “Mr. Costello, in terms of suffering, is not capable of differentiating between the insides and outsides of prison, and therefore cannot be deterred from committing crimes.” When I reached prison, even though I was one of the youngest there, I was denied a remedial reading class (I had a third grade education) because I was classified as “incorrigible”, highly unlikely to rehabilitate. So I began educating myself. I was released 9 ½ years later at age 30.

While in prison I had no religious conversions and no interest in religion other than a curiosity, and I read many of the classic theological works outside of Judaism and Christianity. But there were many secularists as well as Jewish and Christian writers of fiction who guided me to my conscience, especially Hannah Arendt (her essays from the 50s are astounding), Albert Camus (his last novel, The Fall, clearly shows he was on the verge of a religious conversion), Ernest Becker, Dostoevsky, Shakespeare, and the list is endless.

Seven years after my release, I was still a basket case. I met a woman who insisted we get married. We did. Then she insisted we have a child. I protested this, explaining that I was just too mangled to have children, that I just couldn’t morally justify bringing a child into the world and having that child under my care. But she kept insisting. We had a child. And after the child’s birth, my wife severed from our child and I became a single parent, even while living with my wife whom I tried to help but failed.

I was averaging 2-3 hours of sleep a night and suffering from chronic headaches. One night, in sheer exhaustion, my daughter wouldn’t stop screaming. It was about 3 am. I had fed her, sung to her and walked her for about an hour, and at one point anger took hold of my brain like a raging fire. I put my daughter down on the carpet and I dropped to my knees, and with head in my hands I prayed, “Please Lord…take this anger from me.” And the anger went away in that second, and I looked at my daughter who now had a big smile on her face. That was my 180 degree conversion back to my faith, and I began going to 6 am Mass every morning.

It didn’t take long for me to learn two things: No matter what good we do, it isn’t truly good unless we are participating in the life of God, meaning we are living in grace; and second, if we don’t love the children we are not capable of loving anyone. Now, at age 62, I spend almost all my time with my three grandchildren, and I know in almost every second the life more abundantly that Jesus promised to us.

Moloch is having a heyday. This age we live in is the age of child sacrifice like no other. A saintly old priest said to me in confession one day when he recognized I was being too hard on myself, “You will never know the great good that you do.” You see, he knew that I knew the great evils that I had done and continue to do: he was making a holy effort at bringing some balance to my life. And this is the thought that came to mind when I read Ms. Eberstadt’s article: she can’t know the great good she is doing. She might glimpse it, but not know it like us kids who were put through the grinder.

12.3.2009 | 2:24pm
Pat Hoopes says:
Eberstadt is correct about the unholy alliance (my words, not hers) that conspired to magnify the so-called priest scandals. What started out as an inexcusable number of unfortunate but isolated incidents affecting less than 2% of the priest population was twisted into something chronic and endemic. Eberstadt mentions two parties to this conspiracy: anti-Catholics and anti-hierarchy Catholics. She doesn't mention another very significant party, the so-called "conservative Catholics" who believed the priest scandals were the culmination of 60s and 70s touchy-feely liberal b.s. Many of these "conservatives," in a perverse way, somehow felt vindicated by these scandals.

12.3.2009 | 5:22pm
Gil Costello says:
On the priest scandals:

Pope Pius XI's encyclical (Mit brennender Sorge, German for "With burning anxiety") published in 1937 that was highly critical of Nazi ideology was supposed to be read in every German parish, but many priests refused, convinced that Hitler was the savior of the German people. Where Roosevelt promised Americans a chicken in every pot and a job to every worker, Hitler promised a job to every worker and a car in every garage, the Volkswagen, and Hitler would design and then have constructed the beginning of the great symbol of progress in moving ever forward at unlimited speed, the Autobahn. Many priests just got caught up in the historical moment of Germany's reemergence as a world power and unlimited domestic revitalization. Many of the priests that did obey the Magisterium and read the encyclical to their parishioners ended up in concentration camps where they were murdered.

Parallel this situation with 1968 when the sexual revolution had kicked in with undeniable force, and Pope Pius VI wrote an encyclical, Humanae Vitae, to combat what he envisioned prophetically as a scourge that would afflict us in an apocalyptic fashion. But many if not most priests were already on board with the social scientists who were advancing the sexual revolution and simply ignored the encyclical, themselves envisioning the encyclical as a rant from an old patriarchal male blind to the new day of sexual liberation and the therapeutic cure. And here we are, in the scourge.

All this to say that many priests and bishops believed the social scientists of their day had made great discoveries that could advance happiness on earth, including the promise that sexual offenders could be therapeutically cured. Many bishops and priests also believed that homosexually oriented priests could enter a life of celibacy and adjust as well as heterosexually oriented priests, having no idea that homosexuals, unlike heterosexuals, identified the core of their being sexually. In other words, the birth of sexual identity begins in gay culture. There simply was no awareness by bishops and priests that gays had an ontological commitment that made celibacy close to impossible for them, resulting in an unbearable temptation. Many bishops and seminary directors simply turned a blind, charitable eye towards gays who were entering seminaries. And thus the extent of the scandal.

I live in Seattle, Washington, and recently a vote was put to the people to grant homosexuals everything that marriage has except the name. Although the bishops came out against it, perceiving it as an assault on the nuclear family construct and a continued assault on children, priests at most parishes refused to address the issue because they not only have gay leadership on their staff promoting the gay agenda, but honestly believe gay marriage is a good. Catholics have a long way to go.

What we are learning now is that that the social scientists advancing the sexual revolution were wrong on almost everything, and that Pope Pius VI’s prophetic vision resided in truth and love.

12.4.2009 | 5:10pm
HSV says:
The article in general is poorly conceived and on some points actually moronic. There is a total failure to use appropriate descriptors. The author is either unable or unwilling to see what is really going on in society. Throughout the author fails to define what she means by the word "child" and as well throughout fails to describe how those she is quoting are using the term. One cannot condemn all sexual activity between an adult and child if child is used to describe a 16-year-old. Why so many people are obsessed with using clinical terms like pedophilia, ephebophilia, homosexual, etc. is ridiculous --- they aren't relevant outside of the psychiatrist office if even there. The term that ought to be used and thus would lead to an understanding of current public morals and law is "sexual predation". The law doesn't care that Polanski found a 13 year old attractive or that he experienced lust for her, the crime is that he behaved as a sexual predator, used lies and pretenses to get her alone, drugged her, and then penetrated her without consent. The acts that everyone agrees are evil and criminal are predation, drugging, coercion and force. What some were toying with back in the 90's and earlier and no doubt will again in the future is "age of consent" or "statutory rape" not violent rape or force. (By the way, unfortunately, neither scripture nor tradition support 18 as age of legal adulthood, in fact they would seem to lend support to something much lower.) The effects of the priest sex abuse scandal appear to be limited to the Church and other sue-able institutions. But even before that and still ongoing was the public outrage about internet child porn. If Polanski's case were about statutory rape as opposed to predatory rape I don't believe this article would ever have been written. And yet the author tries to argue that in every instance the underage person is damaged by sexual activity. A clearly moronic conclusion given all the persons under the age of 18 now and in the past who have experienced romantic love and engaged in sexual activity both in and outside of marriage. What we can say for sure is that everyone, no matter their age, is damaged by violence and force and exploitation. More women in positions of power have more to do with the outcry against abuse of minors then anything else, i.e. Oprah. And that has come about despite the Church's stand against the cultural revolution of the 60's. People can't stand feeling guilty and do everything in their power to portray themselves as victims, they look for excuses, and if they were only a teenager at the time and a legal minor then that's become a publicly acceptable excuse. But let us not forget that Mary Kay LeTourneau and her once 11-year-old lover are now happily married, despite the fact that while she was in prison he sued the school district for not protecting him. Also, recently a documentary movie was released to some positive reviews about a long-term gay relationship that started between a teenage boy and older man, "Don and Me". Apparently public sentiment isn't that wildly opposed to such things being talked about as we are led to believe by this article. The fact is that not everything is so black and white as the author of this article has tried to portray it. And not only that but there is now the growing "cougar" chic. "Thumbs up!" the public says to older women preying on young men. The fact is, there is more than a substantial case to be made for lowering the age of consent but as long as the average age of high school graduation is 18 it probably will not change. In Europe the school system is different and ..... A more important question we should ask ourselves is why are we raising children who by the age of 13 don't have a solid understanding of right and wrong nor a grasp of how to defend themselves nor assess dangerous situations or shady characters. It's time for everyone to grow up. Polanski had an accomplice, the girl's mother who knowingly left her alone with a bunch of Hollywood pervs --- no decent parent would have done that, in any decade. Has anything really changed? Society is a long way from condemning every form of sexual abuse and exploitation of minors. There will always be perverts. There will always be deadbeat parents. There will always be debate about age of consent. When people stop living in la-la land and stop basing all of their opinions on something Oprah or Dr. Phil says then there might be a return to sensibility and both adults and young adults being held accountable.

12.4.2009 | 6:48pm
David Aleaxander says:
Gil Costello,

thank you very much for relating your testimony. I have sent a message to several friends and family directing them to your comments as I find them very moving and something I would like to save and ponder. I have also directed a young man with a similar history to your comments. I think that God speaks quietly in lives like yours and that those with ears to hear can hear it beyond the self-righteous cacophony and discord.

Pax Christi,
David

HSV,
forgive me if I find some humor in your opening lines taken together and in your single-minded use of "moronic": "The article in general is poorly conceived and on some points actually moronic. There is a total failure to use appropriate descriptors."

12.5.2009 | 7:01am
Jenna R. says:
I agree with HSV, there are some major problems with this article.

Let's break it down. There are 2 camps, the Church and the world. Both had stakes in the clergy sex abuse scandal. Who gained? Who lost?

Eberstadt argues that the Church gained because in the end the world conceded that pedophilia is wrong and sex with minors must be condemned. In order to come to this conclusion she first has to convince us that somehow the world was pro-pedophile prior to the scandal. Uh, hello. There was never a pro-pedophile movement. If there had been she would not have had to go to such obscure sources to try to prove to us that there was. Yes, there are always extreme fringe elements out there trying to promote who knows what but defeating them does not constitute a victory because they never had any ground to begin with. NAMBLA still exists today as it did before, on the extremist fringe. The world prior to the scandal had laws that condemned sex with minors and they were actively enforced. Letourneau went to jail, remember.

Now let's look at the other camp. The world claims that the scandals were a victory for it because the Church was exposed to be full of perverts and those who harbor them. The world also seems to have gained ground in getting the Church to concede that the true crime was sex acts with minors according to the world's definition of minor, not homosexual acts, but all sex acts with minors and the hiding of the knowledge of these acts. The Church was not allowed recourse to any moral theology in which it could argue that some of the victims were well past the age of reason and could have rejected the priest's advances if they really wanted to. Nor could the Church argue that age of consent varies widely from place to place and that 16 and 17 are rather unlikely ages to claim that one is a victim of abuse that involves neither physical force nor material coercion. The Church was effectively muted by a world that sets arbitrary markers for personal responsibility and mutual consent.

The world appears to have lost nothing. The Church appears to have taken losses in three major areas: reputation, moral theology, and finances.

The only thing good that I can think of that might come from the clergy sex abuse scandal is if it never happens again.

However if it makes Catholics happy to believe that now the world is less pro-pedophile it might be time for me to find a new religion. That kind of mental contortionism just isn't healthy. The only thing I can see that has become less pro-pedophile is the Church.

Disclaimer: no worldly sentiments were harmed during the making of the clergy sex abuse scandal.

12.5.2009 | 12:36pm
David Alexander says:
Jenna R., I just want to respond to one point you argued right now. You wrote:"There was never a pro-pedophile movement. If there had been she would not have had to go to such obscure sources to try to prove to us that there was. Yes, there are always extreme fringe elements out there trying to promote who knows what but defeating them does not constitute a victory because they never had any ground to begin with"

She was not arguing here for the existence of such a movement but largely assuming it, building off two Washington Post articles she has written which she mentioned in the beginning. One of the articles is "Pedophilia Chic" published in 1996. See: http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/333rtjrn.asp?pg=2. In it she analyses Calvin Klein adds, a front page article in the New York Times, and a Vanity Fair article, hardly extreme fringe venues.

To these I might add the Barnes and Nobles and Borders selling Jock Sturges' photography of naked children with lascivious captions and the APA's flirtation with pedophilia:

http://www.narth.com/docs/pedcrisis.html

12.5.2009 | 6:04pm
Gil Costello says:
The Stranger, Seattle's most read weekly, and made available to children of all ages, even at the libraries, has an editorial director, Dan Savage, an outspoken vanguard of the now institutionalized sexual revolution, and who is committed to advising children of all ages of their option of a gay lifestyle in his column, “Savage Love”. He expressed his commitment to the sexual liberation of children with this cover photo:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/CoverArt?oid=6401&year=2001

12.7.2009 | 9:04am
Warren Piece says:
Mr. Jon Rowe:

Just a historical note, yes, Jerry Lee Lewis did marry his 13 year-old relative. Yes, it was not exactly unheard-of in Southern culture. But it also should be noted that the marriage was met with considerable outrage North, South, and overseas. (He was runout of England.) Lewis's career took an immediate nosedive and he spent 25-30 years playing in strip joints and bowling alleys. His image became more positive not because the public came around his way--but because that failed marriage was largely forgotten by younger listeners.

12.7.2009 | 11:18am
Gil Costello says:
One last point I would like to make. My perspective on this issue begins from where I resided as a child prostitute. It concerns me that mainstream media not only ignores the plight of male child prostitutes servicing a gay lifestyle, but that it has gone on to support these gay men culturally, rewarding them with accolades. This is especially true in films. One example:
Hedwig and the Angry Inch, a film by John Cameron Mitchell, is ostensibly an entertaining romp, but Mr. Mitchell is explicit in propounding his philosophical views in the film, and on the DVD release, in interview, he puts the age of the child, Tommy Gnosis, who is being “sexually liberated” by the adult Hedwig, at 15.

Keep in mind that men who engage boys in sex give porn with female objects to the children to get them sexually excited, knowing there is no way to get the children excited by themselves or with male porn. In the film, Hedwig is posing as a female who seduces the child, and after the child is engaged in sex with what turns out to be a male, he, the child, discovers he has always been attracted to males. This is a common fantasy among gay men who engage children in sex, and obviously the fantasy of Mr. Mitchell. As the narrative develops, Hedwig is ripped off by Tommy Gnosis, and by the end of the film, the child is the villain and Hedwig is the tragic victim. This mirrors the self-justifying fantasy world of the men who purchase flesh from homeless children: it is inevitable that a street kid will rip off the predator, and the predator will lament to his friends who also share his fantasy that it is they who are the victims of these horrible children.

There are many of these gay men educating the public on the real relationships between gay men and children, and all of them are being applauded by the vast majority of mainstream critics. Hedwig and the Angry Inch got universal applause – not one critic revealing the true intent of Mr. Mitchell. This is precisely how all of us in popular culture are being educated.

12.8.2009 | 2:30am
Apostate Rebel says:
Gil,
I don't know where to begin with your final comments! I am truly saddened that you endured such horrific abuse, however, I do need to challenge you on some of your comments. I believe that you are mistaken in what I am assuming is your belief that gay men are typically pedophiles. This is simply untrue, and has been proven to be so in numerous studies. The fact remains that the majority of pedophiles are straight males that abuse children of both sexes. Do not base the beliefs and actions of entire group of people on the depictions in one film! It would be similar to someone stating that ALL RC priests are pedophiles, or ALL Muslims are terrorists! This is simply untrue. You state that your perspective comes from where you resided as a child prostitute? I would ask, how many of those adult males were married, and identified themselves as straight? I would suspect the majority of them. (A certain prominent American former Evangelical leader comes to mind...)

My experience within the gay community has been overwhelmingly positive. I have never encountered anyone that expresses the desire to sexually abuse children. In fact, the gay and lesbians that I know would express the same outrage that you do.

12.8.2009 | 6:30am
Polly says:
Mr. Costello:

Your post on your life had me blinking away tears. One of the worst crimes against children is taking away childhood. I am very familiar with it having had two alcoholic parents which forced me to become an adult from the age of 7.

Have you read "Goodbye Good Men"? It's about the pressure to fill the priesthood with gay men.

12.8.2009 | 9:43am
Julian Summers says:
I've met men who reveled in their experience of seducing their teachers or priests when they were young (say 14), or who are deeply grateful to the nanny who seduced them when much younger. I've met psychoanalysts who assure me that sex with minors is not always injurious to the minor and may be the opposite. I know of many men who are exclusively attracted to aging or aged adults and have always been so. The article does not seem to do justice to these phenomena, but rather seems caught up in an ideological crusade.

12.8.2009 | 3:21pm
Gil Costello says:
Apostate Rebel – I will respond to your concerns in order:

You write that I am “mistaken in what I am assuming is your belief that gay men are typically pedophiles.” What I in fact wrote was “I am reluctant to associate pedophilia with homosexuality because the thrust of gay ideology in its sexual obsession with youth in my opinion involves children who are pubescent…” and thus I have been consistently writing about ephebophile gay men.

You then write “Do not base the beliefs and actions of entire group of people on the depictions in one film!” I am supposing you have never attended a gay film festival consisting of films that could, I suppose, be discredited as “fringe films”, but I will list some mainstream films by gay filmmakers and writers that involve gay-justifying fantasies about street kids:

Our Lady of the Assassins, based on the novel by Fernando Vallejo who has bragged of having had sex with over 1000 children.

L.I.E, which argues that a reprehensible man who obsesses on child sex is actually a Verlaine seeking out his Rimbaud.

My Own Private Idaho, again the gay fantasy of two “rent boy” types, the criminal and the sensitive boy unconsciously seeking his gayness.

Graffiti Artist, where two street kids discover they are gay.

Finally you write “I have never encountered anyone that expresses the desire to sexually abuse children. In fact, the gay and lesbians that I know would express the same outrage that you do.” If this is true, I suggest that you and your friends begin speaking up about your outrage rather than attacking those who express theirs.

Also, Read Julian Summers in the post below yours. He writes “I've met men who reveled in their experience of seducing their teachers or priests when they were young (say 14), or who are deeply grateful to the nanny who seduced them when much younger.” This is an example of what Polly rightly says is robbing children of their youth. Be outraged.

12.9.2009 | 5:30am
Polly says:
Apostate,

Like you, my somewhat limited exposure to gays had been positive...until I went into business with a gay man.

Over 5 years I met probably 150+ gay men. At first I tried to shake off my unease at the sex, sex and more sex environment. I became alarmed at the admissions of "cruising" for anonymous sex even though many of these guys were HIV+. Alarm turned to deep dismay when my partner's core group of friends began making inappropriate remarks to and about a 12 yr. old boy I had hired to take out the trash. I told him never to enter the store again.

That's when the fun started and the true feelings came out. Where once before I was great, now I was "anal and uptight". Oh, and I was also a homophobe. Because I refused to follow the script, I was shut out and eventually ended the partnership.

In hindsight, I must admit I would have been far harsher on a straight male behaving this way around a 12 yr. old girl. Not anymore.

12.9.2009 | 10:45pm
David Alexander says:
Thank you, Polly. Yet another commenter whom I am learning from. I almost wish this thread could go on forever with Gil Costello and people like you sharing your observations from life. I have brought this topic up with others with mixed reactions. I plan to save your comments for future reference Where else can I get this kind of education out there? I wonder how you would respond to one question that has come up when I enthusiastically shared your comments with others. The accusation is that Gil and Mary Eberstadt and others are making this equation: homosexual= predator. I wonder how either of you might respond or anyone else listening in. I have argued that while it is unfair to say that there is a larger sense in which certain sins concatenate on others. But what do you think?

12.10.2009 | 12:59am
Polly says:
David,

Anytime you have unchecked sex drives, you have predation, don't you think?
I am also of the opinion that rapists and pedophiles, for example, get their satisfaction from engaging in taboos - and the more taboo the better. The longer they engage in taboo behavior, however, the more stimulation they require.

Although there are certainly numerous exceptions (Tiger Woods is a recent example), gays are missing the one element that has a powerful influence on straight men's behavior, and that is women. I have never known a straight couple who agreed from the getgo to have other sexual partners. This was common among the supposedly "committed" gay couples I knew. Sex with strangers was not considered cheating. Sex in a dark park with a complete stranger was considered exciting.

In numerous conversations with the gays I knew, most of them felt that just about all straight men had a gay man lurking just below the surface, and that they could "turn" a straight man in one night. They had been speaking of "breaking in" the young boy in my business that day. They honestly felt that it was "mentoring" in some way. They absolutely worship beautiful boys under the age of 18.

So there you have it! Unchecked sex drives, idolation of young male beauty, and this weird desire to "convert" to gay love.

I don't have the info at my fingertips, but I have read numerous studies stating that gay men have more young victims per predator and a higher rate percentagewise than heterosexual predators.

Would you like me to send it to you when I find it?

12.10.2009 | 12:18pm
Rapnsum says:
Check this out !


Not Rape Rape, Whoopi speaks, Hollywood defends Polanski, and Planned Parenthood still covers up abuse !

http://saynsumthn.wordpress.com/2009/10/01/not-rape-rape-whoopi-speaks-hollywood-defends-polanski-and-planned-parenthood-still-covers-up-abuse/

12.10.2009 | 1:34pm
Gil Costello says:
David – we cannot underestimate the success gay ideologues have had in not only silencing mainstream media sources, where most people get their education on social issues, but in convincing mainstream media to support their agenda, and this can only be accomplished by intimidating persons into not speaking out on what they know. The gay agenda’s mission: to normalize the gay lifestyle by coercing people into never talking about it. Persons like Polly are my heroes because my concern is for the children, not how comfortable or uncomfortable an adult is in naming what is true. And I would like to remind all Christians reading this that Jesus not only promised life more abundantly, but persecution as well. The Christian and non-Christian must ask him/herself if they are will willing to pick up the cross like Polly has done and what you are obviously doing in your engagement in this dialogue.
As to my making the equation that homosexual=predator, nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, there are many persons out there with homosexual tendencies and orientations who fight the good fight not to be predators or support predators or to allow their own lives to be ruined by disordered sexual acts, as evidenced by groups like Courage and Encourage. I don’t expect them to show up on Oprah anytime soon.
It is equally important to distinguish between homosexuals and gays. The former find themselves, for whatever reasons, locked into a sexual attraction to persons of the same sex. The latter are persons who are embedded in a philosophy that supports, among other things, engaging children in sexual acts. And when I earlier alluded to the gay propaganda film Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I was attempting to demonstrate that gay ideologues like John Cameron Mitchell feel comfortable in promoting their agenda in popular media outlets, but more importantly, that mainstream media is helping them to advance their cause, as evidenced by mainstream media’s universal applause. This is far more than silent acceptance.
I decided a few years back to contact my closest friend from childhood, my blood brother, after being out of touch for over 20 years. A few minutes after talking to him, he said, “Name someone we knew as kids.” (He was referring to the street kids who prostituted themselves.) I was trying to think of someone, and my friend said, “Don’t think about it. Just name someone!”
“Anthony.”
“Dead!”
“Greek.”
“Dead!”
“Joey.”
“Dead!”
“Pat.”
“Dead! Dead! They’re all dead! …Ya know, when I go to work in the morning I loop the Tupac song, “Life Goes on”. I always think of you and me with that line, “Brother, we’re the last ones left.”
The hepatitis we contracted in selling our bodies and doing drugs killed most of us, and later generations of street kids would contract another killer, AIDS. Where is the outrage in the gay community concerning this? After all, gays more than anyone know of it. Who can recall a mainstream documentary or news hour show or talk show exploring the lives of these children? And all those expensive drugs to extend the lives of gay men were not made available to these children. Why? I believe the central cause is that the conspiracy of silence concerning the gay lifestyle is now embedded in the psyches of almost everyone in our culture, and most often without their awareness.

12.10.2009 | 9:32pm
David Alexander says:
Polly, yes that would be nice if you sent me the information. You can send it to davidalexander@hotmail.com. I agree with Gil that people like you (and I would add Gil) are heroes and I learn from your defense of children and your moral consciousness. Gil, you and Polly very palpably convey how for the sake of children we must not be intimidated on this issue. I pray for a bolder stance. We must not be peevish adults focused on our own comfort and pleasure but must be mature, willing to take blows for the sake of children. If you are inclined I would welcome too any e-mail from you regarding this issue. Perhaps I might be able to link you up with my friend who was a child prostitute in Seattle. I can not think of any one more capable of speaking words of hope to some one like him. A godly monk has befriended him and his father and we are praying that this young man will be able to forge a path off of the streets. (PS I am also inspired by many of the authors you mentioned such as Dostoevsky and Camus.)

12.11.2009 | 1:12pm
Gil Costello says:
David – I would be glad to in any way assist your friend in processing his experiences. Seattle is a tough town to process what he’s been through because it is a town like no other in supporting the justifications of gay predators. One would have to look no farther than the famous Steven Farmer case: http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19910713&slug=1294163

During the time of Mr. Farmer’s trial, booths from representatives of the gay community were set up on street corners to raise funds to assist Mr. Farmer’s fight against the “injustice” of persecuting a gay man. Not a single gay leader expressed concern for the children he had intentionally infected with the AIDS virus and would die. And neither was mainstream media concerned. Their support, too, went to Mr. Farmer, and this support resulted in Mr. Farmer being freed from prison by then-Governor Mike Lowry.

I think of the excellent book by Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child, where she makes a strong case that children are not driven crazy by abuse, neglect or exploitation, but by being ignored and made to feel that they are the ones who are to blame for their predicament. This more than anything is what concerns me about male street kids who become prostitutes: they are ostracized like no other group of victims in order not to offend gay predators and those who support them.

12.13.2009 | 4:53pm
JP says:
I think much of the tolerance came via the art world. Thomas Mann's A Death in Venice was the artist's attempt to come to terms with both pedophilia and homosexuality. It was a very dark short story, which when you removed all of the pyschobabble, was about a culture in decline. The late Allan Bloom once quipped that it wasn't intended as a paen to homosexuality as it was an indictment on how the West failed to give expression to Man's eroticism.

In later decades there was Nabokov's Lolitta. I never read the book, but I did see the movie (which starred James Mason). Again, it was a dark, decadent movie. It was all about seduction, dark impulses, and taboo attractions. In the end, both Lolitta and her adult lover were destroyed. Big surprise.

Of course, our pop pseudo-intellectual culture just mainstreamed these themes. And in the mid to late 60s, the Boomer for a few years advocated adult-child sexual relationships. Sexual Liberation was all the rage, and "If it Felt Good, Do it". Polanski's rape of a 14 year old occured at the height of the Free Love Movement. As did the mainstreaming of Porn. In retrospect, it all seems so unreal. Today, these people, now in thier 60s have different eggs to fry. Thier Libido has been dulled by old age, but not thier immorality. These same people who demanded we overcome our Puritan Past in the 1960s have all the answers to the pathologies thier immorality created.

12.13.2009 | 11:19pm
David Alexander says:
Gil- Thanks again for your willingness to speak to my friend and for your insightful and moving commentary. Some questions I have for you are how widespread you think child prostitution is in our country and what are the most effective ways you think to fight the predation on pubescent children? And what do you say to those who would say that the problem is predation and not homosexual predation? We have focused here on homosexual predation of pubescent children but what would you say to those who might say that there is no more of a problem with homosexual ephebophiles than there is with heterosexual ephebophiles? Also, where can we find things that you have written on this subject if we want to read further?

JP- I agree with you that A Death In Venice was a very dark story. It was a very sad one. I really did not come away from reading it thinking that the gay lifestyle had been glamorized. I thought it looked more like a slavery to sin and a judgment on the decadence of the culture. Thomas Mann was one of the few intellectual voices of his time who discerned the darkness of the Nazis early and modeled a certain discernment that contrasts strongly with others in his day, exposing the pretense that they didn't know and couldn't have known. Eric Voegelin's Hitler and the Germans identifies Mann and Karl Kraus as some the examples of men who successfully resisted the kind of mass delusion that enveloped their society and at the same time showed that the society was without excuse.

12.14.2009 | 3:14pm
Gil Costello says:
David – some suggestions concerning the questions you raise:
I don’t know how widespread child prostitution is. Very little research has been done. I did see a special where young teen girls are now being solicited in the suburbs, but young teen males had always been solicited in suburban towns.
I believe the single most important thing we can do to fight teen prostitution is for the government to fund volunteer organizations, especially religious ones, which deal directly with families whose children are lost to the street life, providing counseling and other support for those families. The reason is that government agencies as they now exist don’t have a family perspective, but approach teens in trouble with a philosophy that ironically and tragically ends in supporting the child’s involvement in street life. For any approach to be successful, the intervention has to be with the entire family, but government agencies are locked into the “autonomous self” paradigm with the attitude of some of the letter writers here, that these sophisticated street kids are actually capable of making decisions on their own, a delusion that the kid wholeheartedly buys into to his/her detriment. Also, although popular media outlets are delving more and more into teen girl prostitution, I haven’t seen a single exploration of teen male prostitution, which is the only way to raise awareness. The silence is deafening.
And to those who insist that the problem is predation and not homosexual predation, they are mistaken. I would concede that there is a general sexual predation of children by adults that can be confined to that understanding, but what I’m focusing on here is a dynamic peculiar to gay culture. I will allude to some of those dynamics:
Homosexual men who buy into the philosophy of gay culture adopt a sexual identity, which means their fundamental meaning in life is sexual. I knew a gay man who a few weeks from death, the glands in his neck swollen like grapefruits, complained to me of his singular torture: “I can handle all of this, but I can’t handle not having sex.”
For the gay man there is no gestalt self, or rather the gestalt self is suffused with and dominated by the particular. That’s why, in my opinion, it is difficult for the gay man to distinguish between a child and an adult: he ontologically values in every person what is peculiar to sexual fulfillment, i.e., self-realization as defined by sexual identity, and one reason why misogyny is so prevalent in gay culture. The child is just one more avenue of fulfilling a sexual identity, and because the child is perceptually free of the signs of degeneration and death, the sexual fixation on the child is heightened, for degeneration and death for the gay man, even more than the non-religious man, is what most threatens his sense of himself that is established in ever-escalating forms of sexual expression (otherwise he would be diminished).
I am convinced the reason most gays obsess on child flesh as ephebophiles, not pedophiles, is that they are living in a masturbatory world: they are sexually narcissistic. They want the sexual other to mirror their own sense of themselves as beautiful sexual objects who obsess on sexual expression. This can’t be achieved with a prepubescent child. I believe this is what Oscar Wilde was exploring in his only novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray. Heterosexual ephebophiles certainly share in common with gays the uncontainable fear of degeneration and death, but not the narcissistic mirroring and sexual identity, and why ephebophilia poses a more wide-spread problem in gay culture, and why the priest scandal involved mostly gay men.
The question persists: Why do gays at their pride parades insist on displaying sexual simulations instead of carrying signs about legal issues? Because the fundamental issue is sexual identity. To be who you are is to be who you are in public, why the founders of the American political landscape insisted that although no religion should ever be imposed on any person (the wise decision of the separation of church and state), a person’s right to express his religion, his ontological sense of himself, in public is crucial to being wholly who he is, and why free speech is a basic freedom. And if someone has taken on a sexual identity, he will not be who he really has become until expressed in public. This also explains why gay men having sexual liaisons in public places persists, even in totally sexually liberated countries like the Netherlands, dispelling the gay ideological myth that sexual repression of homosexuals is what forces gay men to react by having sex in public. George Michaels, the popular gay vocal artist, has said that he wants to be remembered for two things: writing and performing music and beginning the process where having sex in public places becomes socially accepted.
As to your last question, where can my writings be found? Not anywhere except on blog sites and a smattering in publications like First Things. Before my mind was opened to what is real, I used to get published all the time in dailies in whatever city I resided. I always felt that writing letters to dailies is the best way to reach most voters. Now I hardly ever get published. We are not permitted to talk about the gay lifestyle or how Judaic-Christian religious revelation is inextricable from a true understanding of the political landscape.

12.14.2009 | 4:48pm
ck says:
Excellent review of Polanski child rape case and pedophilia world wide. Globalization, Thailand for example, has increased sex crimes against children.

12.15.2009 | 2:57pm
Robert Morrow says:
There are 2 good books on an elite pedophile ring run in the 1980's: The Franklin Cover Up (1992) and The Franklin Scandal (2009), the latest by Nick Bryant.

In the 1980's there was an elite pedophile ring run at the highest levels of the Republican party by black Republican Larry King of Omaha, NE and Craig Spence, the GOP lobbyist in Washington, DC. If you were in Wash, DC in the 1980's, I am sure you know that Craig Spence was the cream of the cream of well connected lobbyists in that era. King and Spence were running a CIA pedophilia/blackmail ring. One of the politicians they pandered a young man, Brandt Thomas age 18, was George Herbert Walker Bush, the VP in October, 1984. That gives you an idea of the scope of this ring. Most of the kids were boys, ranging from age 9 to age 18. Richard Thornburgh, Bush's Attorney General, played and integral role in the cover up of this pedophile ring in 1989-1990.
If you have an interest in pedophilia, you have GOT to get this book. www.franklinscandal.com

http://rumur.com/hoax A new documentary about the Franklin Scandal

www.franklinscandal.com Nick Bryant’s Book, Franklin Scandal

Conspiracy of Silence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggxiBWv4xYE

The first book The Franklin Cover Up by John De Camp (1992): http://www.amazon.com/Franklin-Cover-Up-Satanism-Murder-Nebraska/dp/0963215809/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259691246&sr=1-1

12.15.2009 | 3:59pm
Judy says:
I'm reading Bryant's book now and I highly recommend it as a MUST READ. Only a morally defunct nation allows its children to be used by pedophiles and pederasts and only a thoroughly corrupt government covers up such revolting acts by public officials. The Franklin Scandal is the biggest untold story in America. We can never have transparency or honesty in government so long as government is the evil that perpetrates the violent abuse of our nation's children.

12.15.2009 | 8:54pm
David Alexander says:
The Laws is the last work by Plato, a work larger than the Republic, in which he sets down his most matured thought. I quote him here not merely for the curiosity but because the text seems to me to offer some valuable perspective. Plato censures Homer and the Cretans for ascribing to the gods, in particular to Zeus, pederasty, and he condemns homosexual intercourse.

“…in either case you ought to bear in mind that when male and female come together in order to have a child, the pleasure they experience seems to arise entirely naturally. But homosexual intercourse and lesbianism seem to be unnatural crimes of the first rank, and are committed because men and women cannot control their desire for pleasure. It is the Cretans we all hold to blame for making up the story of Ganymede (1); they were so firmly convinced that their laws came from Zeus that they saddled him with this fable, in order to have a divine ‘precedent’ when enjoying that particular pleasure. That story, however, we may dismiss, but not the fact that when men investigate legislation, they investigate almost exclusively pleasures and pains as they affect society and the character of the individual. Pleasure and pain, you see, flow like two springs released by nature. If man draws the right amount from the right one at the right time, he lives a happy life; but if he draws unintelligently at the wrong time, his life will be rather different. State and individual and every living being are on the same footing.” –Plato, The Laws, Book 1.636.

12.15.2009 | 10:11pm
Gil Costello says:
One phenomenon should be halted immediately: the placing of adolescents in gay-support groups who have expressed to counselors, teachers and other professionals a same-sex attraction. Neuroscience is opening many doors to the understanding of addictions, abnormal orientations and other maladies not being fixed within the first few years of life, that the brain can be altered by experiences during adolescence. If an adolescent is placed in a gay support group, that group can cause the same-sex attraction to deepen and become an addiction and/or an orientation whereas it might have simply been a developmental stage:

http://www.sfn.org/index.cfm?pagename=brainBriefings_Adolescent_brain

12.18.2009 | 2:03pm
Christiaan Xaviereis says:
The discussion under the original article has drifted away from the topic of pedophilia and into implausible homophobic innuendo. Everyone knows that not just pedophiles but also ephebephiles were effectively excluded from the gay movement in 1994, as is accurately reported in the wikipedia article on NAMBLA:

"ILGA (International Lesbian and Gay Association), by a vote of 214-30 expelled NAMBLA and two other groups (MARTIJN and Project Truth) in early 1994 because they were judged to be "groups whose predominant aim is to support or promote pedophilia." Although ILGA removed NAMBLA, the U.N. reversed its decision to grant ILGA special consultative status. Repeated attempts by ILGA to reacquire special status with the U.N. were finally successful in 2006. The group exercises consultative status with the European Commission.

Gregory King of the Human Rights Campaign later said that "NAMBLA is not a gay organization ... They are not part of our community and we thoroughly reject their efforts to insinuate that pedophilia is an issue related to gay and lesbian civil rights."

I witnessed all this personally from the gay side of the fence, so don't anyone bother with the usual guff about the wikipedia article being in error. It is completely accurate. The gay movement has kicked the pederasts out along with the pedophiles. (Incidentally, Ms. Eberstadt, "chickenhawk" is historical gay slang for an ephebephile, not pedophile slang for a young boy. But thanks for revealing your degree of actual expertise on this topic so frankly with this error.)

However, I believe that the climate of indiscriminate conflation that has led commenters into demonizing gays was started in Ms. Eberstadts original article. First of all, notwithstanding the law's synonmyization of forcible sex with children and other forms of sex with children as rape, the fact is that what Mr. Polanski did would have been rape with a person of any age or gender. So, just as the story of Sodom doesn't comment on homosexuality because it is really about rape, the story of Polanski is a skewed introduction to the topic of pedophilia because it is also about straightforward, all-ages rape. It's not just that neither the left nor right wing will justify it; no one on any of the conscientious-pedophile websites that I have perused will justify it either. That's right -- even pedophiles are united against Mr. Polanski.

Another of Eberhardt's conflations is to conflate sexual activity with children with the topic of pedophilia per se. Pedophilia is a sexual orientation, and not even an exclusive one. It has its own forms of bisexuality, as seen in hetero-boylovers, men who are attracted to women and young boys. It is not a "monstrous crime" nor even a crime. It is not even an action. It has no mens rea, it is not of legal interest. Only when it takes action in the form of expressed sexuality dealing with children or their images is it legally judgeable. Most hetero-boylovers simply marry women they love and do nothing at all to express their additional attraction for boys, and we only know about them because they talk on the internet. If this is a monstrous crime, women, you may very well be happily married to it for a lifetime, with no risk to nearby children.

Another conflation is the constant see-sawing, both in the article and in the comments, among all the distinguishable ethical stances of older people (maybe only two years older, maybe more) who may be attracted to the idea of having sex with, let's say, teens of 16 (legal in Canada and several US states). One Christian writer (see http://www.cjat.org/ipb/index.php?showtopic=60 ) has broken these down into five categories, starting from the most objectionable: lunatic (captures, tortures, etc.), aggressive (rapes like Mr. Polanski or does hard-sell techniques, intimidations, monetary payment, etc.), persuasive (talks young people into sex or sexual experiments that they would never have undertaken and which they may find creepy, abhorrent, degrading of the self-image, a source of crippling guilt for not having been able to resist more effectively, etc. - this is where the Catholic priests mostly fit in), persuadable (may either cautiously or incautiously agree to sexual activities expressly and unambiguously initiated by teens who find them attractive or who have conventionally developed a heavy crush on them or fallen in love with them) and abstinent (people whose sexual orientations include teens but who eschew all sexual activity with them on moral, ethical or practical grounds).

No one in the modern conscientious pedophile movement would argue that aggressives and persuasives may cause tremendous trauma to young people. The 'persuadable' situation is more difficult to deal with, and hence the strong urge by anti-pederasts to track down ridiculous quotations in which pederasts themselves assert that the younger person was an aggressor or even a rapist. We all know that that is implausible, since the "aggressions" of a 16 year old directed against a 21-year-old, for example, would have little chance of succeeding. The fact is that consent is broken down into two acts, initiation and assent, and younger pubescent people certainly do initiate. I know this personally since I have received and declined such offers on three or four occasions across my lifespan (I have never been sexually involved with a younger person). To my knowledge, there has never been a reputable psychological study of outcomes where such initiations, if they led to sex, were followed up to see if they later gave rise to trauma or not. I do, though, find wildly implausible the assertions by commenters above that such initiatives may cause permanent brain damage in the younger person, if the person succeeds in initiating the sex and/or romance that he desires. I am willing to be talked out of this belief by real, unbiased science, but not by high dudgeon and further smearing of categories, diffuse innuendo, and generalizations based on a single extreme or ridiculous instance.

Gay teenaged boys of my generation grew up in complete isolation and silence, in terror (thanks in no small part to some of the attitudes on display above), but those growing up today know that their extreme loneliness need not last through their entire teenage years. When they happen to be interested in people who are in their late teens or twenties, as is not uncommon, they may well reach out. Perhaps someday there will be some chic involved in their success.

12.18.2009 | 5:23pm
Phil G. says:
"And the anger went away in that second, and I looked at my daughter who now had a big smile on her face."

Has it ever occurred to you that there is nothing remotely supernatural about this event ?

12.18.2009 | 8:35pm
Gil Costello says:
Mr. Xaviereis,



You begin by stating that “not just pedophiles but also ephebophiles were effectively excluded from the gay movement in 1994…”, that in fact "ILGA (International Lesbian and Gay Association), by a vote of 214-30 expelled NAMBLA and two other groups (MARTIJN and Project Truth) in early 1994 because they were judged to be ‘groups whose predominant aim is to support or promote pedophilia.’" This begs the question: Why did it take so long? You effectively answer it: IGLA was trying to regain its special consultative status with the U.N. (having nothing to do with a concern for children), something the U.N. had denied because of the promotion of sex between men and boys by gay leadership:


http://americansfortruth.com/news/gay-rights-icon-frank-kameny-spoke-at-nambla-meeting-in-1981.html


What this means is that founding gay leadership, that had formerly supported NAMBLA's aims as constitutive of gay ideology, decided to throw NAMBLA under the wheels of its bus moving in the direction of gaining support of a majority of Americans in promoting the gay lifestyle, and part and parcel of that strategy was keeping silent on the actual life-threatening behaviors that constitute the gay lifestyle, which includes in actual practice the engagement of children in sexual acts.


One can weasel about inside semantic arguments about stages, orientations and the rest, but the question remains: does gay ideology embrace the notion that engaging teens of all ages in sex by adults is harmless? Yes, and common to the justifications employed by gay men is your argument: “The fact is that consent is broken down into two acts, initiation and assent, and younger pubescent people certainly do initiate. I know this personally since I have received and declined such offers on three or four occasions across my lifespan (I have never been sexually involved with a younger person). To my knowledge, there has never been a reputable psychological study of outcomes where such initiations, if they led to sex, were followed up to see if they later gave rise to trauma or not.”


There are gay men who do give into having sex with children, often with the justification you offer them, as well as other justifications endemic to gay philosophy, including an imagination that boys are coming onto them sexually when in fact they aren’t. However, as I alluded to earlier, many pubescent children like to believe they’re in control, and predators take advantage of this. May I suggest that the next time a child age 12-17 tries to initiate sex with you that he is more than likely a child who is seeking rescue, not sex?

12.18.2009 | 11:37pm
Gil Costello says:
Phil G.:

No, it hasn't. Before arriving at a decision to participate in the life of God at age 38 as a way of living my life, I had had a wealth of experiences that when brought to bear on the inflammation of the brain I referred to could not extinguish the flames. For 18 years (age 20-38) I had truly sought to alter my life for the better, employing just about every technique psychology and philosophy had to offer, and all of it together not radically altering my life for the better. Yet when I prayed a simple prayer, my life was radically altered forever (at least the last 24 years).

12.19.2009 | 11:52am
Jon Rowe says:
I hestitate to respond at all to Gil Costello because he's so obsessed with his thesis that it's obvious a conversation with him will go nowhere. So I'll just make some observations that I'm sure will go right past Mr. Costello.

For those of us who live in reality, it's not at all clear that homosexuals prey on youth ANY more than heterosexuals. For one, such a notion competes with another stereotype about gay men -- one that apparently has a larger kernel of truth than Mr. Costello's -- that gay men prefer the "feminine" role and as such tend to be more attracted to larger, more muscular, more masculine men. Perhaps older but not necessarily. A scraping muscular buck in his 20s is far far liklier the target of gay male attraction than a 13 or 14 year old boy.

A 13 or 14 year old boy is actually closer to a female in appearance and proportion than a male in his 20s+. Historically when examining opportunistic pederasty between adult men and teen boys, the older pederast tended to be primarily heterosexual in his orientation and used the younger boys as a substitute for a woman. This is how it was in Ancient Greece. This is currently how it is in the Arab Islamic world where "lesser" men have no access to women because the more powerful men hoard them thru polygamy. In short, these are older heterosexual men playing the dominant role using teen boys as substitutes for women. Even in prisons it's bigger, stronger, more masculine heterosexual Alpha males who use younger, weaker, more feminine (liklier to be homosexually oriented) men as substitutes for women, for coercive sexual release.

Again, the notion that gay men are liklier to victimize 12-17 males as opposed to heterosexual men doing the same of 12-17 girls is completely unsubstantiated by statistics. And if we are dealing in the world of anecdoates and personal experiences, heterosexual men have been doing this constantly and in large numbers since the fall of man. For every homosexual anecdote Mr. Costello can offer, a "Lolita" anecodote can be offered.

Since most people here are concerned about abortion, I previously noted and will note again when young teen girls have abortions, statistics show a shockingly high number of them were impregnated by adult males.

This is not a homosexual problem. It's a human problem.

12.19.2009 | 2:10pm
Gil Costello says:
Christiaan Xaviereis writes "Gay teenaged boys of my generation grew up in complete isolation and silence, in terror (thanks in no small part to some of the attitudes on display above), but those growing up today know that their extreme loneliness need not last through their entire teenage years." This declaration is packed with assumptions.


Who are "gay teenaged boys"? Kevin Jennings and other gay ideologues would have us believe they are boys who experience same-sex attraction along with feelings of isolation, aloneness and terror. But there are untold numbers of children who have experienced same-sex attraction, isolation, aloneness and terror who did not go on to become gay. This is my concern: when a child experiences same-sex attraction, isolation, aloneness and terror, that child should be helped by a competent counselor, not assigned to a gay-support group where he will be indoctrinated into embracing gay ideology not only as a quick-fix to his complex emotional life, but an ideology that will dramatically increase the chances of him dying prematurely.

12.19.2009 | 11:00pm
Gil Costello says:
Mr. Rowe gives his reasons why some gay men "prefer the ‘feminine’ role and as such tend to be more attracted to larger, more muscular, more masculine men.” Psychoanalytic discoveries aside, including an identification with dominant mom to attract distant dad, my own view is that this phenomenon involves two facets: 1) Every man at his depth longs for the complementary other (woman) to become wholly who he is, and in tragic gestures some homosexuals try to incorporate women into their ontological sense of themselves to become whole; 2) women have historically been viewed as the ultimate expression of beauty by most artists, so it follows that when a man has taken on a sexual identity, sexual attraction becoming an end all, and imagines himself as “the beautiful”, he might become confused concerning his gender.

So I agree that many gay men incorporate a female sense of themselves and will tend to be attracted to “larger, more muscular, more masculine men”. I recall a lament from a middle-aged gay man: “All I’ve ever really wanted was a real man.” And when he said that, my first thought was, “But a real man will always want a real woman.” Thus one of the many tragic conditions of a homosexual orientation.

Mr. Rowe claims there are heterosexual men who seek to sexually dominate boys as substitutes for females. I agree with him. But I’m convinced this has more to do with a sexual excitement involving not only a deprivation of women, but an act of power/domination. Ever since the sodomy laws were overturned by the Supreme Court to accommodate gay sex, there has been an escalation of anal rape of women, which, among other horrors, demonstrates that the person in the dominant role, rapist, is not concerned so much with gender as he is with dominating and humiliating his sexual object. Gays have defined this sexual domination/humiliation act as an act of love, a sado-masochistic affection that they want to encourage youth to experiment with.

Mr. Rowe’s hypothesis suggests another interesting possibility: perhaps gay men who obsess on young teen flesh are actually attempting to find the complementary other, the woman, in the boy child, but there will always remain the gay men who want the boy to be a boy/man to their female sense of themselves. And this shouldn’t confuse us concerning the reality that the predator is the one who is always in control and dominates the child in some fashion to his detriment.

Mr. Rowe and I will continue to disagree on many facets of gay ideology, but that should not prevent us from agreeing that the gay agenda that promotes adults having sex with children should be shunned, and that Kevin Jennings and his Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) should not be allowed to establish a nationwide network of counseling youth on their sexuality in our schools, inflicting sexual confusion on children during a highly developmental stage of their lives, for Jennings & Company will dominate and control the minds of our children in advancing their agenda:

http://www.missionamerica.com/oldagenda26.php

12.20.2009 | 3:11am
Stephen James says:
A dose of reality for your readers: b4uact.org/perspectives.htm

12.20.2009 | 9:46am
Jon Rowe says:
Mr. Costello:

I agree with you that sex between adults and the underaged is a bad thing and ought to be discouraged. As a non-religious (or not conventionally religious) person who rejects the idea of one man one woman in marriage for life standard for when sex is appropriate, I endorse that sex is an "adult" activity (because it has adult consequences that go along with it) and should be done by responsible adults only. There is no way that the govt can police which adults are responsible enough for sex, but we can, however arbitrarily, draw the line at adulthood which we do at 18.

That said, I don't see, at all, Kevin Jennings and GLSEN, as part of an agenda to make it okay (or any more okay) for adults to have sex with teens. Rather what I see is them wanting the rules to apply equally to gays as they do with straights.

What is your evidence against Jennings?

"Why would Kevin Jennings report a case of an adult engaging a 16-year-old boy in a sexual act when he sees it in a positive light?"

If you look at age of consent laws, you'll see presently 16 is a normal baseline standard -- at least for heterosexual activity. In other words, if this were about an adult male and a 16 year old girl, we'd be talking about something legal, and that has been legal for most of time. For most of Western history this act -- done heterosexually -- might be considered wrong, not because of the age of the girl but because it is fornication. If they were married, traditional Judeo-Christian morality would view nothing wrong with say a 21 year old man and 15 or 16 year old girl having sex and bearing children.

I've read some of the graphic content of those the GLSEN books and don't think they are appropriate for K-12. However, I do think, again, they reflect a desire for gay equality. And in this case, it's an equality of a fairly lax standard that society -- or certain dominant parts of society -- draws for heterosexual teens.

Almost all of the homosexual sex described therein occurs between peers of similar ages. I'm part of Generation X; I suppose we are a bit more conservative than Gen. Y in our sexual norms, but still grew up after the 60s. The way I remember it (and mine is the white middle class suburbia Gen. X narrative), if you weren't a) too socially awkward, b) too unattractive or c) bounded by religiously conservative sexual mores that you learned at home, you lost your virginity in an act fornication between the ages of 14-17, sometimes younger, and you had the experience with someone of a similar age. The lower, more urban classes tended to have sexual experiences even earlier. And sometimes having one or all three of those impediments didn't prevent this outcome.

This was what it meant to "come of age." What I see in the few GLSEN books that had explicit teenage homosexual content was an near exact homosexual equivalent of what it means to "come of age" in typical heterosexual teenage America.

The problem, as I see it, of religious conservative criticisms of this is 1) gay youth have no dating and courtship institutions; 2) gay adults don't have the institution of marriage. And you folks offer them NOTHING. You've excluded gays from every social institution that seeks to tame the male libido and then criticize them for acting like men with untamed libidos. Until you offer gay adults some reasonable institutional standard their relationships to exist, you are in no position to act as scolds.

12.20.2009 | 5:21pm
Gil Costello says:
Mr. Rowe,

Thanks for your response. I can now see clearly where we differ.
First, you believe there is nothing inappropriate for a school administrator, teacher or other professional in our education system not reporting an adult who is engaging a 16-year-old in sex. You agree with Mr. Jennings. This does not gladden the hearts of parents with 16-year-olds. The vanguards of the sexual revolution will continue the struggle to keep lowering the age of consent between an adult and a child, effectively doing away with statutory rape, and this is a case where I disagree with the law. You write, “If they were married, traditional Judeo-Christian morality would view nothing wrong with say a 21 year old man and a 15 or 16 year old girl having sex and bearing children. I don’t know any of these Jews or Christians except in history books when there was a high mortality rate.

I not only disagree with all the information given to children in schools about homosexual sexual activity, but heterosexual activity as well. I agree that children should be informed of sexual practices that could cause them harm, but now, in sex education classes, some vital information on health issues are withheld. Instead the “joys of anal sex” and other hazardous sexual practices are celebrated as normal expressions of love.

You believe we shouldn’t be “bounded by religiously conservative sexual mores”, which I interpret as you supporting the ongoing sexual revolution. That revolution brought with it the ongoing destruction of the nuclear family, epidemic sexual diseases, psychological disorders, the proliferation of abortions and other nightmares. How about the novel idea of leaving it up to parents to decide the sexual mores of children instead of Mr. Jennings?

Where we most disagree is that you believe children should be assigned a gay identity. My argument is that this is harmful to children. They should be allowed to develop and not assigned any sexual identity. Too many children exit a same-sex attraction during adolescence. Why force them to stay in it? You are obviously an intelligent, educated adult, but even you have succumbed to the distortions of gay ideology in what you have written here (how will children resist it?). For example:

You write, “For those of us who live in reality, it’s not at all clear that homosexuals prey on youth ANY more than heterosexuals.” The priest scandal taught us differently. And not long after that scandal broke, men who as children had been preyed on by ministers, teachers and other professionals started coming forward. It turned out that boys were in fact preyed on far more often than girls. It was just that boys are far more reluctant to tell their stories, even to their friends. But judges allowed the statutes of limitation to remain in those cases, while applying a new retroactive 40-year statute of limitation only for Catholic priests (a first in American jurisprudence).

You also buy into into a popular gay myth: “Even in prisons it’s bigger, stronger, more masculine heterosexual Alpha males who use younger, weaker, more feminine (likelier to be homosexually oriented ) men.” The many years I spent in reformatories and prison proved different. It is true that stronger men will prey on weaker men, but the vast majority of the latter were not homosexually oriented, not inside or outside prison. This myth parallels the gay myth that street kids who sell their flesh to gay men are homosexually oriented, but out of all the many kids I had known for five years who sold their flesh, only one had a homosexual orientation.

The fact remains that for many years the gay Leadership in this country supported NAMBLA until they were chastised by the U.N. Do you really believe Jennings and Company are any different?

12.21.2009 | 11:17am
Jon Rowe says:
Mr. Costello:

Yes I disagree with you, quite a bit and I am going to try to make some points that are useful, not where our worldviews just talk past one other.

First, I said nothing about approving what Mr. Jennings did with the 16 year old. I am not even sure exactly what happened. I'd have to be more informed before I could make a judgment.

I will note -- again -- that 1) in many if not most states, 16 is the age of consent and the behavior at that time, at least if heterosexual, would be legal. I have no idea what state this event took place in and what the governing law was. Perhaps you can inform.

And 2) again I stress the idea that a 16-year-old is a "child" and hence not sexable is "chic" and "novel." It's a standard that I agree with, but it is still not part of the traditional Judeo-Christian morality that you defend. I think new scientific discoveries about the brains of late teenagers combined with the novel in history delayed adulthood of 20th Century Western Societies, combined with the erosion of the anti-fornication norm make it just that we have age to consent laws that hover between 16-18.

Yet for most of Western Judeo-Christendom, teens were sexable at puberty. And that's because they were MARRIAGEABLE at puberty.

You write: "I don’t know any of these Jews or Christians except in history books when there was a high mortality rate."

Regardless of what you "know" about, what we are talking about is EVERY Jewish and Christian society in history until a certain period of the 20th Century when science began to conquer "high mortality rates" with vaccines, antibiotics and whatnot. The Jewish standards for adulthood in the Bar and Batmitsfah is 12 for girls 13 for boys (I have heard some argue this may reflect an age of accountability as opposed to marriageable age because puberty comes earlier now and a boys and girls at that age would not be biologically fertile; but these reports still concede puberty or biological fertility as the age traditionally Judeo-Christian mores set for marriageability). Again, I note Jerry Lee Lewis and Lorretta Lynn were involved in marriages in the South, in the 1950s where one party was an adult male, the other a 13-year-old girl. With Lewis it was controversial I think because the marriage was with his first cousin.

The idea that a 15 or 16 year old is a "child" -- off limits for sex with "adults" -- is a defensible standard, given modern societal changes and discoveries on the brains of teenagers. But don't fool yourself, it is a modern development, not part of transcendent Judeo-Christian morality that saw nothing wrong girls as young as 13 having sex provided it took place within a marriage.

12.21.2009 | 2:20pm
Patricia says:
Mr. Rowe-

I am an adult and not only do I consider having any sort of sexual relationship with a "child" under the age of 18yrs. inapropriate but I also consider having a sexual relationship with any person under the age of 21yrs. inapropriate, especially if the person is a male (in general, males mature slower than females). No matter what laws are in place and what the majority of the population claims to be "normal", I will always follow my own moral compass. If someone told me to follow others and jump off a cliff, I simply wouldn't do it. I find it a shame that such topics as this are even an issue. The fact that people even need legal boundaries set in place to tell them that having a sexual relationship with a child is not okay leads me to believe there must be a devil.

12.21.2009 | 4:05pm
Gil Costello says:
Bernard Lonergan wrote two books that exactingly explore what the scientific method really is: “Insight” and “Method in Theology”. I’m convinced he took this important project on because he saw clearly how we humans in an ideologically driven age are abandoning the scientific method. He understood, for example, that a Christian would become more rooted in his Christianity if he exactingly followed the principles of the scientific method. He would say, with Christ, “The truth will set you free.” Those that abandon the scientific method, usually for the cause of indulging disordered desires, always end in responding to real knowledge with the question, “Truth? What is truth?”

Gay ideology is structured on a foundation of unproven theories and elaborate lies. Jon Rowe says I obsess on this thesis, but I see it as persistence where almost everyone in education has succumbed to gay ideologues with their flawed reasoning and their plans for our children.

For me to embrace gay ideology as children are being forced to do in our schools, I would have to abandon Lonergan’s first stage in establishing meaning: experience. Mr. Rowe accused me of using anecdotes, but those anecdotes are important parts to a puzzle that establishes real meaning.

The BIG LIE of gay ideologues: Gay ideology does not embrace the notion that children exist as sexual objects. But as a child prostitute I experienced/witnessed the elaborate networking of gays in acquiring child flesh for sexual pleasure, especially in how they drug children, and oftentimes with designer drugs that existed in the gay community long before the rest of the world even heard of them. Gays know of this activity better than anyone. What gay man has exposed any of this networking? And of course there is NAMBLA, a group that embraces the notion that children exist as sexual objects for adults. Gay leadership across this country had openly embraced this group as one of there own, an essential ingredient in the gay objective, and proudly invited them to march in their pride parades until the U.N. condemned it and forced gay leadership to exclude NAMBLA if they wanted U.N. recognition. This of course didn’t stop some gay activists like Allen Ginsberg and Harry Hay whom Kevin Jennings admires, Jennings knowing of Hay’s adamancy in supporting the objectives of NAMBLA. These are the proud gay warriors that would not concede anything to the man. They would not sell out in a cover-up of the gay lifestyle, once again driving it underground, to promote its agenda. But Kevin Jennings is proving them wrong: children can be indoctrinated into embracing sexual perversions and can, through repetitive sexual experimentation, be brought over to the gay lifestyle. For Jennings understands the first principle of survival of any ideologically driven group: expansion. And the easiest way to expand is to go after the minds of children who are the easiest to indoctrinate, not unlike warlords in Third World countries that capture and indoctrinate children into being killing machines. And here I sit typing while dying of an illness I contracted as a child prostitute, one of only a few that survived this long. You see, when I cross over I don’t want it on my conscience what I had failed to do. I’m still concerned about safe passage in what I had done. I simply am not looking forward to a millstone around my neck on my final journey.

The BIG UNPROVEN FACT of gay ideologues, what many mainline media columnists insist has been established: Homosexuality is genetically transmitted. All the gay “scientists” who have established “solid evidence” of a “gay gene”, their findings hitting the front pages of mainline media outlets, end in being proven wrong by their colleagues, that they had in fact manipulated their data, and that information might find its way to the third or fourth page of a daily newspaper. I recall asking a gay friend, “If there are children who experience same-sex attraction and end up convinced they are gay but later move out of it, what does this say about a gay gene?” And he answered, “They weren’t gay to begin with.” And I asked, “Well, then how can you tell what child is gay and which child isn’t?” And he answered, “You can’t.” And I ask you, the reader, why do we send children off to gay support groups if we are not able to determine what child is fixed in a homosexual orientation? Do we really want to force children to take on a gay sexual identity and live a gay lifestyle?

I could list experience after experience that would demonstrate how gay ideology is a lying machine. But I will offer just a few:

When my daughter was age 13 (she’s 24 now) I went to her school early, and once inside I saw a friend of hers, a boy, and he was sitting on a bench with his head hanging low. I asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn’t answer. I found out later that day that after he had confided to a counselor that he had experienced same-sex attraction he was told by the counselor that he was gay and was then assigned to a gay support group. He didn’t want to go. Fortunately this kid survived, and I ran into him just a week ago. He’s doing great with his girlfriend and his career objectives.

When my daughter was 14 she had some friends over the house. One of them, a boy, was sitting in the corner of the room by himself, obviously depressed. I asked my daughter what was wrong with him.

“Oh…we took this online test at school today. It tells you how gay you are, and he scored 40%. It just bummed him out.”

“An online test? Do you have the website?”

“Sure.”

So I pull it up, and dispersed throughout the test are questions like, “As a young child did you ever put on women or girl clothes?” The first thing I thought when I read that question was”Would that make all male Shakespearean actors, men and boys, in the 16th century gay?” The test was patently absurd. The results were obviously fixed: Everyone is gay – it’s just a matter of degrees. Couple this with my understanding that being homosexually oriented in any degree does not make you gay because being gay is an ideological sexual identity, it became clear that the educators had an objective of indoctrinating children into the belief that everyone is gay, and that to reject a gay lifestyle would be a means of rejecting some aspect of who you really are. This is the stuff of indoctrination that goes on in our schools.
Gay ideology is now fixed in academic courses at the Academy where students will graduate and be sent out into every social-policy-determining field. I suspect Mr. Rowe has fallen victim to this kind of education. For example, he states that men in prisons who are raped are more than likely homosexually oriented. This is a gay myth, a lie. But what does this lie service, what is its meaning for gay culture? I learned the answer as a child prostitute, hearing it all the time: gay predators convince themselves that there are many children with a homosexual orientation who are radically suppressed by a hetero-dominant culture, and these men see their behavior as a saving mission to liberate these children, to help them find their gay identity. And if they fail in this mission, they are certain the children will eventually end up in prison where the brutes will recognize their gay natures and assault them sexually. But what also goes hand in hand with this myth is the fantasy these men indulge of being dominated by the brute force of an Alpha male prisoner, because sado-masochism is endemic to the gay lifestyle, not in any way considered an aberration.

The reason I stated at the beginning of this thread that I view Ms. Eberstadt’s article as a miracle is because it establishes for me new hope that maybe, just maybe, more intellectuals who reside in the scientific method will begin speaking out, especially concerning what Jennings and Company have in mind for our children. Only the intellectuals can win this fight for the children.

If anyone reading this thread chooses to defend the children, you are free to use anything I have written here.

12.21.2009 | 5:40pm
Jon Rowe says:
I am an adult and not only do I consider having any sort of sexual relationship with a "child" under the age of 18yrs. inapropriate but I also consider having a sexual relationship with any person under the age of 21yrs. inapropriate, especially if the person is a male (in general, males mature slower than females).

On a personal note I am 36 and I don't think I'd feel comfortable having a sexual relationship with anyone under 27. 21 is an interesting standard -- the std. for which we make it legal to drink alcohol. Though one can drive, vote, leave their parents' control, and fight and die in war at younger ages. I'm open to the idea that sex is not appropriate for anyone under that age simply because sex has uber-adult like potential consequences and therefore responsibilities (i.e., the possibility of abortion, which is arguably murder, the bearing of a child for whom the parents or at least the mother is responsible, sexual transmitted diseases, the worst of which is AIDS). However your proposed standard of 21 -- we should note -- is novel to the modern era.

If there is a transcendent TRUTH that teaches sex under 21 is the work of the Devil, no longstanding, traditional case(s) from the Bible, Judeo-Christian morality, the Aristotelian-Thomistic natural law have been made and if you and yours succeed in making such a case, you be true movers and shakers of moral teachings.

12.21.2009 | 8:19pm
Patricia says:
Mr. Rowe -

You misunderstand my position. Based upon my age (I am a bit younger than you) I have made an age appropriate decision about my relationships, and the older I get so will the age of those I wish to have a relationship with. It has nothing to do with whether or not a person can legally drink, join the army, get tattoos or anything else.

I have actually never read the Bible or studied Christian beliefs. Upon reading Mary Eberstadt's article I couldn't help but think of adults having sex with children as being nothing but pure evil. Throughout history the greatest sacrifice to the gods was the sacrifice of children. This is where my statement about the Devil came from. I do not believe that having sex under the age of 21yrs. is the work of the Devil.

I embrace the differences in us all including differences in opinions. I guess my issue with you is that I see you playing both sides. Mr. Costello used the word "outrage" in one of his comments. This stuck with me. I sense no "outrage" or any other emotion from you when you comment about these issues. You do seem to be passionate about attacking those who practice religion. I don't see how this helps anyone come to an understanding about this topic.

What's wrong is wrong and what's right is right. Exploitation of children is wrong. To even suggest that a child in any way is responsible for such things happening to them is wrong. We need people to stand up and fight for those who can't fight for themselves.

12.21.2009 | 9:49pm
Jon Rowe says:
Patricia:

"I guess my issue with you is that I see you playing both sides."

I don't think I do this -- at all -- in my arguments. What I do do (what might make it appear to you that I play both sides) is make arguments that don't neatly fit in any one box. I am a freethinker, and politically, a libertarian, neither a secular progressive nor a religious conservative.

I have plenty of outrage, but I don't think such is useful when discussing issues.

Gil: If what you write is honest then you have suffered a tremendous indignity to your person that no human being deserves.

God bless you.

What rubs me the wrong about about YOUR approach is making gays the enemy in all this. Perpetrators come in all shapes, gay/straight, black/white, male/female, old/young, Christians/non-Christians.... Gays like you, are children of God and as a collective of individuals likewise have suffered indignities they didn't deserve. I guess this depends on our perspective. Patricia said I come across to her as someone who "attack[s] those who practice religion." Anyone familiar with my writings and positions knows, however, that I am no Christopher Hitchens or Richard Dawkins in that regard. You come across as unfairly picking on gays.

12.21.2009 | 11:20pm
Jon Rowe says:
Wow, my above comment shows how one comma makes all the difference. I meant to write: "Gays, like you, are children of God...," instead of "Gays like you, are children of God...." My apologies.

12.22.2009 | 1:33am
Gil Costello says:
Jon – thanks for your concern and your blessing. The fact is that what I had inflicted on others far outweighs any indignities I have suffered. The prodigal father has blessed me with much joy, a joyfulness that is undeserved. It’s called the power of love and forgiveness.

I could be wrong, but you strike me as a person who has sought the truth in the best ways made available to you. It’s just that the universities beginning in the ‘60s chose to abandon the principle of universal truth and moved into an ideological matrix.

You believe I am making gays the enemy in all this. I see it as a battle against gay ideology. I was not only on the victim side of gay ideology. I lived and moved in a predominately gay community for six years during the early ‘80s in Los Angeles, and the persons I was closest to were gay. There were persons like Gerardo Velazquez of the synthpunk band Nervous Gender whom I loved and greatly admired. Some, like Gerardo, died young from the AIDS virus. To die a premature death is always the most tragic.

I had a close gay friend whom I would spend time with during his final days. He did not find any peace in death. The worst was to watch him in his angry, unfulfilled state. He was riddled with nightmares at night and horrible hallucinations during the day.

I worked at a law firm and an obnoxious gay man, who had blatantly came onto a young worker who was not gay (the kid turned beat red and went right to the human resources manager and filed a complaint, with no action being taken). This gay man had an accident. He was wearing sandals and the underside of his big toe got caught in a moving escalator stair, puncturing it to the bone. An employee came running up to me, telling me that the person was bleeding profusely and she couldn’t find latex gloves. I went to the next floor where he was in the bathroom, and he was sitting on a toilet in shock, his foot resting in a pool of blood. Looking straight ahead, he said “It’s just a scratch.” I tied off the foot, cleaned the wound and bandaged it, and someone called 911. You see, he and I were friendly – that’s why the worker ran to find me. And he always got a big kick out of arguing with me, a Catholic.
Another gay man at another law firm went to bat for me when I was falsely accused of a wrongdoing. He put his job on the line to protect me. Although he didn’t like to argue politics or religion, we talked a lot, him fully aware of my opinions and my religion. He loved to say to me, “Gil – you’re so gay!”

What my many gay friends knew and know about me through the years is that I’m the one that truly loves them, that I would die to protect them if it came to that, the same as I put my life on the line many times in Trenton State Prison to protect my friends from the brutes you alluded to. “Love your enemies” has a special meaning for me. It has to do with the Dylan line, “You see, you’re just like me…I hope you’re satisfied.” My brother is someone I disagree with on almost everything, yet I love him dearly. Gays are my brothers, too. We just disagree.

My position is what it was at the time of Stonewall. Back then the gays I knew argued that they should be left alone to live their lives the same as heteros, and to be protected in law the same as heteros, and to be respected as human beings working their way through the craziness of the world like everyone else. It was the crazy fundamentalists who cried foul, claiming maniacal things like the gays will move into the schools and start indoctrinating children into their lifestyle. Those fundamentalists, when not scary, were good for a few laughs. They were summarily dismissed as homophobes.

There are many gays who still simply want what was originally fought for, but gay ideology makes demands, and sooner or later, if you have taken on a gay identity, the role call will sound and you will have to step up. All I’m fighting for is to protect the children.

12.22.2009 | 12:08pm
Jon Rowe says:
And what that Gil, I'll let you have the last word on the debate. I'll just note that I don't see "gay ideology" the same way you do and that stems largely from a different worldview. Though for people like us, it's important to stress our common view in the inherent dignity of the human person (what I like about Roman Catholic teaching).

It's a small world; I teach at the local community college in Trenton. My mom grew up in Trenton (when the city was more livable) and went to school across the street from Trenton State Prison. A Professor in my Division coordinates the project inside programs and teaches in the Prison. She loves it. I think I'd be freaked out. Though I have had numerous former inmates as students and I do my best to help them along, academically, while they get their lives back on track (hopefull, I pray).

I've also written (one very brief piece) for First Things and would do so again if asked, whatever my differences with their worldview on social issues (though I doubt they have me back probably for that reason).

Merry Christmas.

12.22.2009 | 7:09pm
David Alexander says:
Gil wrote: "So I agree that many gay men incorporate a female sense of themselves and will tend to be attracted to “larger, more muscular, more masculine men”. I recall a lament from a middle-aged gay man: “All I’ve ever really wanted was a real man.” And when he said that, my first thought was, “But a real man will always want a real woman.” Thus one of the many tragic conditions of a homosexual orientation.

Mr. Rowe claims there are heterosexual men who seek to sexually dominate boys as substitutes for females. I agree with him. But I’m convinced this has more to do with a sexual excitement involving not only a deprivation of women, but an act of power/domination. Ever since the sodomy laws were overturned by the Supreme Court to accommodate gay sex, there has been an escalation of anal rape of women, which, among other horrors, demonstrates that the person in the dominant role, rapist, is not concerned so much with gender as he is with dominating and humiliating his sexual object. Gays have defined this sexual domination/humiliation act as an act of love, a sado-masochistic affection that they want to encourage youth to experiment with."

I think your reflections capture some of the irony and unresolvable dissonance in the gay identity. It seems to me under-girded and supported by a general widespread distortion in the view of the self in our society, an essentialist, Gnostic-like disassociation from the body that is ennobled by an anti-teleological pipe dream. Gays are glamorized as rebels and self-creators rather than lovingly met as captives of a harrowing and entrapping myth. Reflection on the physical nature of the homosexual man or woman seems characteristically repugnant to the self-proclaimed "enlightened" who dream of avatar escapes from the grossness of their bodies, and downloading their selves, dreamed of as essences, into an electrically powered heaven of endless powerful freedom. It is built on too much detachment from the flesh and the locking into place of a distorted notion of the self that pits oneself against themselves. Those who are unhoused from their bodies ought to be shown real compassion rather than cementing darkness.

12.27.2009 | 4:08pm
Pat R says:
While the discussion of gay ideology is interesting, I think it veers from the point the original author is trying to make. We live in an age where the sexual exploitation of children is becoming more and more acceptable in certain segments of our culture. For those who defend Mr. Jennings advice to a 16 year-old having sex with an adult, I think we need to understand the development of adolescents. While living in the San Francisco Bay Area, I completed my MA in applied psychology with the goal of becoming a licensed marriage and family therapist. I am currently in the Atlanta area pursuing a PsyD degree in clinical psychology. In both of these educational experiences, I have been required to take a course in legal ethics for psychologists. In each course, both in California and in Georgia, the state laws set the age of consent for sexual activity with an adult at the age of 18. For teenagers, the laws differ by state, but most states set limits for those under 18 for sexual conduct with age ranges of acceptable partners, usually at 2 year age differences. For example, in California at the time I took my ethics class, children aged 12 and younger were always considered unable to consent to sexual activity regardless of the age of the partner. Children older than 12 were considered capable of engaging in sexual activity as long as the partner was under the age of 15 for children in the 12-14 age range. For children older than 14, the ages of acceptable sexual partners was children between the ages of 15 to 17. In all cases where the sexual partner was over the age of 18, any sexual contact with someone who was 10 years older than the teen involved was always considered statutory rape. In one case, I had to report an incident of sexual abuse that had occurred some 10 years earlier where an adult male had been having sex with his 16 year old stepdaughter. It seems he was thinking about moving back into the home to help his wife care for the stepdaughter's 3 children that included two daughters aged 4 and 10. The stepdaughter had abandoned her children and her mother had moved in to care for them. The state considered him a risk to molest his stepdaughter's children. As a therapist intern, I was required by law to report any inappropriate sexual activity or I could lose my license to practice. Other states have different laws. In Georgia, any sexual activity between persons younger than 18 is considered statutory rape, regardless of the age difference between the partners. Neither state with which I am familiar makes a distinction between heterosexual or homosexual behavior. One thing that I find disturbing is the seeming double standard in the way we deal with those who engage in sex with underage teens. It seems to me that women who engage in sex with young boys do not receive nearly as many consequences for their behavior as men who are convicted of having sex with young girls. Why do we treat women who perpetrate sexual abuse so much more lightly than men who do so? Is it because we somehow believe that young boys are somehow less traumatized by the experience? In fact, so many commentators I heard during the Mary Le Tourneau incident seemed to think that making it with the pretty older teacher was a dream come true for the young student involved. The reality is that male or female, children don't have a fully developed pre-frontal cortex until sometime between the ages of 21 and 25. They lack the necessary ability to judge their actions and experiences fully. The fact that customs differed in the past had more to do with infant mortality and the need to marry and procreate before one died rather than the need to allow people to fully mature before they engaged in those activities. The average lifespan during those times was somewhere in the 20s or 30s. Our sense of identity regarding who we are does not fully develop until the mid-20s. Until then, sex with significantly older adults does us more harm than good, not matter how much we may think otherwise.

12.29.2009 | 12:33am
David Alexander says:
The state laws which classify children as young as nine years old as sex offenders for life are "cruel and unusual punishments" and appear to be manifestations of the predator psychology described so well by Gil in this thread. The predator fantasizes that it is the child to blame and the sex offender laws for children appear to me to be based on this sort of twisted predator fantasy. The hypocrite and his prostitute. Let us pray: God, have mercy.

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