FT readers interested in Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body will be interested in this upcoming conference:

Theology of the Body: Modern Challenges to Health Conscience, and Human Dignity

Baltimore, Maryland
October 9-11, 2008

This conference will reflect on the significance of Pope John Paul II’s teaching to the medical profession, “accept and experience sexuality and love and the whole of life according to their true meaning and their close inter-connection.” Physician experts, theologians, and expert speakers, in panel format, will provide medical and theological analysis of the discourses delivered by the late Pope John Paul II in 129 addresses that have been collected and published as the “Theology of the Body.”

Speaking at the event will be George Weigel and Robert P. George, both of whom are frequent contributors to First Things and members of our editorial board.

Those interested in the conference may register online or by mail, or contribute a donation to the conference.

Lest other females, like myself, were beginning to feel a certain insidious pride and confidence, influence and assertiveness, in light of recent political developments, this sage discourse deserves careful reflection. One can never be too wary of feminine woes and wiles.

From A Discourse of the Married and Single Life: Wherein by Discovering the Misery of One, is Plainly Declared the Felicity of the Other by Ionas Man (1621):

Let a man also consider the qualities, wherewith women are indued, which for the most part are opposite to those of men: as, her wantonnesse, to his sobriety; her forwardnesse, to his meekness; her stubornesse, to his patience; her pride, to his humilitie; her lightnesse, to his gravitie; her disliking, to that which he approveth; her covering of which he denieth: wherein they justly resemble the shadow of mans body, which if a man persue, it will runne from him; if he goe away, it will follow him: this is all the comfort that man in his choice can have, that perhaps it may be his fortune, inter malos, non habere pessima: amongst many that are evill, not to light of that which is worst of all.”

And, lest any presumptuous female be not sufficiently shamed, persisting in the delusion that she can hide her true nature from men with such lascivious products as lipstick, I refer her to a more ancient and sagacious authority, Gregory of Nazianzus:

Cosmetics, he informs us, are “the arts and witcheries of the painter . . . that cheap beauty of the infernal creator who works against the Divine, hiding with his treacherous pigments the creation of God, and putting it to shame with his honor, and setting before eager eyes the imitation of a harlot instead of the form of God, so that this bastard beauty may steal away that image which should be kept for God, and for the world to come.”

There you have it. “Frailty, thy name is woman!”

Among the events for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in New York next week is a dinner with American religious leaders—sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee, the Mennonite Central Committee, the Quaker United Nations Office, and the World Council of Churches, among others.

What are these institutions doing celebrating this kind of open anti-Semite? A protest is planned with Christian and Jewish speakers at 5:30 that evening, Thursday, September 25, at the Hyatt Hotel on 42nd St near Lexington Avenue.

Yesterday I found the texts of some of Hildegard’s Latin hymns online. Here’s one called “Ave, generosa.” The translation wasn’t outstanding, so I thought I’d provide one of my own.

Ave, generosa, | Hail, noble one,
gloriosa et intacta puella | glorious and virgin girl.
Tu pupilla castitatis, | You are the pupil of chastity,
tu materia sanctitatis, | you the material of sanctity
que Deo placuit. | which pleases God.

Nam hec superna infusio in te fuit, | For this heavenly in-flowing was in you,
quod supernum Verbum in te carnem induit. | because the heavenly Word clothed itself in flesh in you.

Tu candidum lilium, | You are a radiant lily,
quod Deus ante omnem creaturam inspexit. | which God examined before every creature.

O pulcherrima et dulcissima, | O most beautiful and sweetest,
quam valde Deus in te delectabatur, | how God was taking great delight in you
cum amplexionem caloris sui in te posuit, | when he placed the embrace of his own warmth in you,
ita quod Filius eius de te lactatus est. | so that his son was nursed by you.

Venter enim tuus gaudium havuit, | For your belly bore joy,
cum omnis celestis symphonia de te sonuit, | when every heavenly harmony about you resounded,
quia, Virgo, Filium Dei portasti, | because, Virgin, you have carried the Son of God,
ubi castitas tua in Deo claruit. | when your chastity in God became clear.

Viscera tua gaudium habuerunt, | Your womb had joy
sicut gramen, super quod ros cadit, | like the grass, over which the dew falls,
cum ei viriditatem infudit, | when he poured fruitfulness into you,
ut et in te factum est, | and so was made in you,
o Mater omnis gaudii. | O Mother of all joy.

Nunc omnis Ecclesia in gaudio rutilet | Now let the whole Church glow red in joy
ac in symphonia sonet | and resound in harmony
propter dulcissima Virginem | on account of the sweetest and praiseworthy
et laudabilem Mariam, dei Genitricem. | Virgin Mary, the Mother of God.

Amen

Note the theme of viriditas that I mentioned before present in the sixth stanza. Note also the word materia, which I translated as material, in the second stanza. It does mean that, but in the sense of building materials, i.e. wood, which provides another allusion to Mary as the verdant stem from which Christ flowers. There’s even an allusion to mater in materia.

The “pupil of chastity” line is interesting too, bringing to mind the passage where Christ talks about the eye as “the lamp of the body” (Luke 11:34), shining out what is contained within. And so much of the language is almost erotic–the “embrace of warmth,” the pouring-in of fruitfulness. Simply beautiful.

A reader writes:

Most have heard of G.K. Chesterton’s explanation for why he became a Catholic, a mischievous (and, of course, paradoxical) tale about a stolen umbrella whose punchline goes something like: ” I am a Catholic because the Catholic Church is a Church of sinners and I am a sinner.” I don’t have my own punchline yet, but here, at least, is the story I’ll tell.

Today, as occasionally happens, I missed morning Mass, or, as we say, “the Eight,” and went perforce to “the Noon.” And, as occasionally happens, I , like the other nooners, (regulars or defaulters) ended up attending a funeral. This efficient merger of funerals with its regular Mass schedule demonstrates the Church at its most pragmatic, but there is something highly mysterious going on too. On the one hand we regulars find ourselves in a funeral, which is so immediately apparent as a salutary experience that one wonders why it isn’t required, like the Eucharist, at least annually. On the other hand, the often mostly secular mourners find themselves in a Mass. All the kids and some adults rubberneck like I do when visiting Manhattan (Gee, look at that high ceiling; so that’s a stained glass window; and who is that on that cross thingy, anyway?).

We get to see Death and to be reminded of how that grim penultimate frames our faith. They get to see this most abrupt event within the Christian frame of faith, hope, and love; in a Mass, which is to say in a community of people, who don’t even know the person they are there to mourn, but join gladly in the mourning all the same.

In theory this Thames Flyer thing is pretty appealing. What red-blooded male doesn’t want the “James Bond” experience of going wicked fast up the Thames while sipping elegantly on expensive champagne?

But then, in a lame attempt to justify the ridiculous fee of six hundred pounds per hour, they go too far. They promise, as though it were a good thing, that they will puncture your manly fantasy with “commentary . . . provided by standup comedians.” Honestly, who on earth wants that?

Of course, as The Economist notes, the current financial crisis might mean passengers get more than their money’s worth by the grim entertainment of “investment bankers jumping from bridges.”