FOR BEST RESULTS, apply a thick, even coat to the affected area. Use gentle pressure, stroking in a southeasterly direction (or northwesterly if south of the equator). For stubborn problem areas, apply with a 1-inch putty knife available by calling our Customer Service Department at our undisclosed number or from local hardware suppliers. Allow to dry (approx. 8 minutes) then apply again using clockwise strokes (or counterclockwise if south of the equator). Keep away from direct sunlight, mosses and other bryophytes, vigorous mazurkas, and cheese for not less than eighteen hours. Avoid contact with the annular finger. Do not rinse until product turns blue (or red if south of the equator). In case of accidental ingestion, immediately eat or drink something that tastes better. Store in a cool, dry place away from magnetic fields and at least 15 feet (4.572 meters) from the nearest harmonium.
Thursday, July 30, 2009, 8:17 PM