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Several amusing answers came in when we asked readers to pick the words on the page above that would not appear in an elementary-school spelling book today. (Do children learn to spell in elementary school today? Dr. Boli has not been in elementary school for some time, so he is perhaps ignorant of current educational theory.)

For what it may be worth, this is Dr. Boli’s own list, along with his explanation of why he thinks each word would be excluded from current spelling books:

Fag, because children use that word all day and teachers are sick of hearing it.

Cag, which turns out to be an obsolete variant of keg.

Hag, because we prefer not to teach our children more colorful insults for their teachers than the ones they already know.

Wen, because the proofreaders would assume it was a misspelling for when.

Cit, an insulting term used of townsmen by country people; no longer heard now that everyone lives in the suburbs.

Wit: an obsolete term.

Wed: obsolete, because our aversion to monosyllabic language has caused it to be replaced in all usages by marry, although we still happily use the form wedding, which has two syllables.

Fop: obsolete, because for the past two hundred years (with a brief interruption in the age of Oscar Wilde) men have not cared enough about clothes to be fops.

Milt, because children might ask what it means and have to be told to shut up.

Gilt, because a proofreader would correct it to guilt.

Smut, because the metaphorical use has entirely replaced the literal.

Slut, because the meaning has shifted subtly over the years.

Chub, because it would be taken for the insult rather than the fish.

Flog and drub, because teachers are no longer allowed to do those things to children and do not wish to be reminded of the fact.

Some of the obsolete terms, such as wed, are kept tenuously alive by journalism-school graduates who, rather than use the same word twice in an article, will ransack the thesaurus for synonyms. But these words would almost certainly be excluded from a children’s spelling book.

There are also many other terms that are unlikely to appear because they are seldom used today: shad, drab (which has been almost entirely replaced by the real-estate agent’s term neutral decor), jilt, and brad, for example. But these words would probably raise no serious objections if they did appear.

The book, by the way is Noah Webster’s American Spelling Book, the ninetieth edition (Webster spells that “nintieth”), published in 1816.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013, 5:30 PM

A few articles ago, Dr. Boli used this page from an early-nineteenth-century spelling book merely to illustrate the idea of “spelling.” Now here is one more spelling-related game: How many words can you find on this page that certainly would not be in an elementary-school spelling book today? Dr. Boli will start the game by picking two words: “cit,” because it is almost never used anymore, and “slut,” because it is used entirely too often.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013, 1:34 AM

What fun we have had with spelling! The correspondence is rolling in thick and fast with even more candidates for “most misspelled word.”

“Rabe” suggests “‘affect’ and ‘effect’? But I don’t know how to ask for it.”

The answer, of course, is that you ask politely. Then you think of a way to outwit Google. Dr. Boli tried an experiment:

“does not effect”: About 37,200,000 results

“does not affect”: About 511,000,000 results

This search is not perfect: effect is a perfectly legitimate verb (“I hope to effect some change in their behavior”), but rarely used. In this case, however, the inaccuracy is irrelevant. Even assuming that every use of “does not effect” is wrong, you’re, definitely, and led still beat “affect” in our ranking.

Except for a grammar site explaining the difference between “affect” and “effect,” the top-ranked site for “does not effect” was the Facebook page “Chewing gum does not effect my learning at school,” whose “about” page elaborates: “You don’t need to be a genius to know that chewing gum does not effect your learning at school.” Dr. Boli has a snippet of anecdotal evidence to the contrary. (Unless, of course, the writer meant “effect” in the perfectly correct sense of “bring about,” in which case, brava, anonymous young woman on Facebook! You are indeed correct in saying that chewing gum does not cause learning to happen.)

If you’d like to have some fun in the other direction, try “has no affect.”

Jared writes: “Incredibly, hors d’oeuvre is spelled appetizer nearly three quarters of the time.” To which Horace Jeffrey Hodges adds: “And the Germans usually misspell ‘hors d’oeuvre’ as ‘Vorspeise’!

Dr. Boli might add that the Italians leap into the melee with antipasto, which gives us another category of misspelling to deal with: foreign terms commonly used in English. Antipasto is very commonly spelled antipasta in Pittsburgh Italian restaurants. When pasta meets antipasta, is the result an earth-shattering kaboom? Evidently not.

Also in the category of foreign terms often misspelled: the abbreviation etc., which is often spelled ect. and pronounced “eck cetera.”

Meanwhile, Greybeard asks, “What about differences in regional dialects? While I currently live on this side of the pond, I used to live on that side of the pond. Even though I no longer live on that side of the pond, I frequently colour my speech by adding a ‘u’ to certain words just for the humourous effect.”

We must obviously make a distinction between misspellings and legitimate alternate forms. It might be possible to argue that colour is a misspelling if the writer is not consistent in applying the same rule to humour, honour, rumour, and so on, but it would not be worth the trouble. There are also certain words that are variable even in American usage: gray and grey, for example, or judgment and judgement, where one form is more common but both are correct. (The computer spelling-checker is rapidly propagating the notion that there can be only one legitimate spelling of any word, and it is likely that the less-used alternatives will be considered as un-American as “colour” within a generation.)

On the same subject, “creeper” picks “‘cancelled,’ hands down.” But here is another case of regional difference: “cancelled” is correct in most other English-speaking countries, but the most common American spelling is “canceled,” although the double L is also legitimate, as Merriam-Webster told us a hundred years ago: “Cancel v. i. [imp. & p. p. Canceled or Cancelled; p. pr. & vb. n. Canceling or Cancelling.]“

The question of regional dialects is an interesting one in the scientific study of misspelling. Misspellings often reflect pronunciation; and, as pronunciation varies, so must misspellings. In Pittsburgh, “the Galapagos Islands of American dialect” (as one national newspaper famously called it), there is a strong tendency to shorten long vowels, so that meal is indistinguishable from mill and sale hard to distinguish from sell. Thus we often see “FOR SELL” or “MUST SALE NOW” in classified ads—mistakes that would be simply baffling in an area where the distinction in pronunciation is strong.

“RKae” writes, “I would’ve guessed ‘its.’ (Or should I say, ‘would of’ guessed…?)”

“change it’s spots”: About 236,000 results

“change its spots”: About 2,380,000 results

The ratio here is almost exactly 1 to 10, which is (surprisingly) not nearly as high as your for you’re.

Dr. Boli tried an experiment in the other direction, but ran into a serious difficulty. Google searches URLs as well as text, and most software that automatically generates URLs from titles (such as the WordPress software Dr. Boli himself uses) strips the apostrophes. If you write an article called “It’s Not About the Money,” the WordPress-generated URL will include “its-not-about-the-money.” A majority of the top results for “its not about” were sites where the writer knew perfectly well how to spell it’s, but the URL stripped out the apostrophe. This observation also means that the number of correct spellings of its in “change its spots” may be slightly overestimated.

Monday, June 17, 2013, 5:15 PM

So far in our quest to find the most misspelled word in the English language, we have discovered that the question is even more difficult than we thought. We have to decide what counts as a misspelling (rather than a mistyping, as reader Martin the Mess reminds us), and what counts as a word. Assuming that contractions count as single words, our top candidate so far is “you’re,” which may be misspelled “your” about 15% of the time. But what about “you’re” for “your”? And “they’re,” their,” and “there”? “And “it’s” and “its”? Let us keep refining our methodology, and Dr. Boli will share some of his results in this space tomorrow.

Sunday, June 16, 2013, 11:58 PM

What is the most misspelled word in the English language?

It is an interesting question, and one that is harder to answer than it might appear at first glance. We should be able to use the all-knowing Internet to search for instances of misspellings, and compare the number of instances of the correct spelling. But it is not always easy to isolate the misspelling.

Dr. Boli has often suggested that the most misspelled word in the English language is led, the simple past and past participle of the verb “to lead.” It is very often spelled “lead,” by confusion with the identically pronounced metal, and by analogy with “read,” another strong verb whose change in pronunciation from present to past is exactly the same as the change from “lead” to “led.”

But how do we isolate the misspelling “lead” for the past tense from the perfectly correct spelling of the present tense? Dr. Boli has hit on one method: he searched on the phrase “has lead to,” in which “lead” is very unlikely to be meant for the present tense or (for that matter) the metal. We can probably assume that the ratio of misspelling to correct spelling in this unambiguous phrase will be just about the same as the ratio in other uses of the word. These are the results from Google:

“has lead to”: About 45,500,000 results

“has led to”: About 491,000,000 results

Can we find any other word where the ratio of misspelling to correct spelling is higher?

Here is one very unscientific “study” that picks “separate” (often spelled “seperate”) as the most misspelled word. But here are the results from Google:

“seperate”: About 37,000,000 results

“separate”: About 465,000,000 results

Close, but not as often misspelled as “led.”

How about “definitely”?

“definately”: About 34,600,000 results

“definitely”: About 432,000,000 results

So far, “definitely” is running behind. But if we add some other common misspellings of the word, it begins to pick up speed:

“definatly”: About 4,680,000 results

“definitly”: About 4,440,000 results

Adding up those three common misspellings, we come up with 43,720,000 misspelled instances against 432,000,000 correctly spelled instances—a ratio of almost exactly 1 to 10. “Definitely” wins by a nose—which is especially impressive considering that misspellings of “definitely” will trip a spelling-checker, whereas the common misspelling of “led” will not.

Provisionally, then, we may regard “definitely” as the most misspelled word in the English language. But we simply cannot leave it at that. Dr. Boli calls on all the pedants out there (and surely there must be a few pedants in Dr. Boli’s audience) to contribute to this important research project. By combining the power of our brains and our endless hours of idle leisure, we can establish once and for all which word in English is the most misspelled. Then we can take corrective action.

(A helpful searching hint: if you use Google to search for misspelled words, remember to put them in quotation marks.)

Saturday, June 15, 2013, 4:12 PM

illustrated-edition-operetta-is-not-your-calling

Sunday, June 9, 2013, 12:44 PM

illustrated-edition-you-boys-run-ahead

Wednesday, June 5, 2013, 10:13 PM

stock-exchange-dumped-thirty-thousand-shares

Monday, May 27, 2013, 11:03 PM

There were three book titles made up by Dr. Boli in yesterday’s literary puzzle:

The Unicycle Boys’ Great Mustard-Gas Adventure

The All Right Boys at the World’s Fair

The Railroad Boys in the Outback

All the rest are real books that were published by real publishers, and every one of them can now be found at Project Gutenberg. If you know a boy with an ebook reader, you know now what to tell him.

The Motor Boys Overland
The Brighton Boys in the Trenches
Motor Boat Boys’ River Chase
The Go Ahead Boys and the Mysterious Old House
The Iron Boys on the Ore Boats
The Ranger Boys Outwit the Timber Thieves
The Radio Boys on Secret Service Duty
The Bungalow Boys Along the Yukon
The River Motor Boat Boys on the St. Lawrence
The Auto Boys’ Quest
The Boy Aviators’ Flight for a Fortune

Although these are all real titles, as you can verify by following the links yourself, Dr. Boli might as well confess that he wishes he had made up The River Motor Boat Boys on the St. Lawrence and The Iron Boys on the Ore Boats.

Friday, May 24, 2013, 5:21 AM

Here is a little literary puzzle for our devoted readers. A century ago, the book trade was inundated with what today’s marketers would call “high-concept” boys’ adventure books. Without resorting to a search engine, can you tell which of the titles in the list that follows were actually published and which ones were made up by Dr. Boli this morning? (A big hint: Dr. Boli made up three of them.) The answer will appear in this space tomorrow.

The Motor Boys Overland
The Brighton Boys in the Trenches
Motor Boat Boys’ River Chase
The Go Ahead Boys and the Mysterious Old House
The Iron Boys on the Ore Boats
The Ranger Boys Outwit the Timber Thieves
The Unicycle Boys’ Great Mustard-Gas Adventure
The Radio Boys on Secret Service Duty
The Bungalow Boys Along the Yukon
The All Right Boys at the World’s Fair
The River Motor Boat Boys on the St. Lawrence
The Auto Boys’ Quest
The Railroad Boys in the Outback
The Boy Aviators’ Flight for a Fortune

Thursday, May 23, 2013, 9:27 AM
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