Why is everyone doing a Kevin Bacon on poor Chuck Norris? It’s not like Jack Nicholson or Warren Beatty or Bruce Springsteen is about to come out for Huckabee.

And Norris is more than just a movie and TV star: The born-again Christian, U.S. Air Force veteran, and Professional Full-Contact Middleweight Karate Champion is also the bestselling author of The Secret Power Within: Zen Solutions to Real Problems.

Not only that, Chuck Norris is so tough, he can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep . . . he waits.

Stop it.