Take a noun that can be misconstrued as a verb (or vice versa), mix it into an ambiguous headline, and you have yourself a recipe for a crash blossom:
In their quest for concision, writers of newspaper headlines are, like Robert Browning, inveterate sweepers away of little words, and the dust they kick up can lead to some amusing ambiguities. Legendary headlines from years past (some of which verge on the mythical) include “Giant Waves Down Queen Mary’s Funnel,” “MacArthur Flies Back to Front” and “Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans.” The Columbia Journalism Review even published two anthologies of ambiguous headlinese in the 1980s, with the classic titles “Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim” and “Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge.”
For years, there was no good name for these double-take headlines. Last August, however, one emerged in the Testy Copy Editors online discussion forum. Mike O’Connell, an American editor based in Sapporo, Japan, spotted the headline “Violinist Linked to JAL Crash Blossoms” and wondered, “What’s a crash blossom?” (The article, from the newspaper Japan Today, described the successful musical career of Diana Yukawa, whose father died in a 1985 Japan Airlines plane crash.) Another participant in the forum, Dan Bloom, suggested that “crash blossoms” could be used as a label for such infelicitous headlines that encourage alternate readings, and news of the neologism quickly spread.
My front-runner for best crash blossom: “Child’s Stool Great for Use in Garden.” What’s your favorite example?
February 3rd, 2010 | 4:38 pm
From the Stockton, CA paper circa 2006 or 2007
“Handicapped Fish at Trout Farm”
February 3rd, 2010 | 5:06 pm
Most Influential Preacher Not Named Billy Graham ;-)
February 3rd, 2010 | 10:44 pm
Joe, some second thoughts, since I am the person who sort of more or less coined the term crash blossoms. I was JOKING. It was an off the cuff remark. I didn’t really mean it, in terms of seriously mean it. Joshing, kidding, just riffing on Mike’s wonderful healine find. But……the term took off, for reasons i cannot fathom. Like is like that, I guess. Just thought you’d like to know….the rest of the story, or rather, the truth of the story, hehe. my comments in CAPS here re: “For years, there was no good name for these double-take headlines. TRUE. Last August, however, one emerged BY COMPLETE SERENDIPITY AND ACCIDENT in the Testy Copy Editors online discussion forum. Mike O’Connell, an American editor based in Sapporo, Japan, spotted AND POSTED A THREAD ABOUT the headline “Violinist Linked to JAL Crash Blossoms” and wondered, “What’s a crash blossom?” (The article, from the newspaper [the ONLINE NEWS SITE, NOT A SNAILPAPER] ‘Japan Today’, described the successful musical career of Diana Yukawa, whose father died in a TRAGIC 1985 Japan Airlines plane crash IN WHICH 500 PEOPLE DIED IN A MOUNTAIN CRASH.) Another participant in the forum, DanNY Bloom, OFF-HANDEDLY AND OFF THE CUFFILY AND JOKINGLY AND HUMOROUSLY BUT ALSO SEMI-SERIOUSLY suggested that “crash blossoms” could be used as a label for such ‘infelicitous headlines’ that encourage alternate readings, and, ENCOURAGED BY OTHER POSTERS AT THE TCE SITE, BLOOM SET UP A BLOG IMMEDIATELY ABOUT THE NEOLOGISM, and news of the neologism quickly spread LIKE WILDFIRE and MADE THE NEW YORK TIMES SIX MONTHS LATER. BUT BLOOM CANNOT GET the NY TImes to write about his polar cities ideas (google) or his SNAILPAPERS coinage for print newspapers. SIGH.
February 4th, 2010 | 1:36 am
It may seem a hair old Bloom, but I very much like your comment above, in which you say
“Like is Like that.” It seems trivial but true to say that Like is Like that. Or is Like sometimes unlike that? Perhaps we should enquire of Hegel, as to whether Like is Like or unlike. (I also wonder if unlike is like unlike. How could it be? How could it not be.)
Either way, it’s delightful to see the headline
Crash blossoms Bloom.
February 4th, 2010 | 9:47 am
Crash Blossoms Bloom indeed! I guess this was fate, and like is like that, yes. I wrote THE SNAILPAPER STATEMENT today, and here’s a preview:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that while the Digital Age is upon us fast and furious, the print newspaper — hereafter dubbed the “snailpaper” — shall persevere as a good daily read, a fascinating look at the world around us and a valuable tool for understanding oped pundits and above the fold headlines. Sure, the dear snailpaper will also be seen as a useful tool
for wrapping fish at the Fulton Fish Market or lining the bird cage in the den, but all kidding aside — har! har! — the daily snailpaper can hold its head high and be certain of its place in the culture. While news migrates in pixels and bytes to the Internet at an exponential rate, piling breaking story upon breaking story and turning everyone and his mother into a 24/7 news freak and RSS aggregator, the plodding snailpaper will nevertheless remain the bedrock of analysis and insight, from sea to shining sea, delivered at a snail’s pace, yes, read at a snail’s pace, yes, and absorbed, word for word — on glorius printed paper! white newsprint reflecting inked letters! — at a snail’s pace, yes, as long as the Republic of Letters shall live.”
Full blast here:
http://zippy1300.blogspot.com/2010/02/snailpaper-statement-mini-version-by.html
February 4th, 2010 | 10:32 am
When I first read the headline in question, I imagined the “Crash Blossoms” were an eclectic rock band formed by classical musicians. I wondered why a Japanese airline was promoting music.
February 8th, 2010 | 8:47 pm
From a Branson Missouri paper in the early ’90′s: THREE BUTT HEADS IN MAYORAL RACE
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