David French has a proposal for Christian parents:
I’ve got a deal for you. It’s simple: If you sign up for my program, there’s a roughly 80 percent chance that the man’s happiness will increase substantially. And women, there’s about a 50 percent chance you’ll be happier as well. Sounds good, right? After all, happiness can be tough to come by. How about a few less sleepless nights? A few more smiles? And what about some joy? I bet you could really go for some joy.
The cost? Oh yes, the cost. Nothing’s free, after all. Here’s the thing. If you join my program, your kids will likely become more depressed and anxious. They’ll have a much greater chance of being abused, living in poverty, and becoming addicts. That’s the cost. In short, I’m asking you to purchase your own happiness at the cost of your children’s happiness, not to mention their safety and mental health.
Deal?Almost any self-respecting Christian parent would throw me out of their house. Could there be anything more obviously selfish? Can you imagine something that more perfectly contradicts Christ’s call to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him?
Yet that’s the deal millions of Christian parents willingly choose every year and then defend zealously. That deal is called divorce.
December 16th, 2010 | 5:47 pm
About 60% of all divorces are initiated by wives, 30% by husbands, and 10% in some sort of joint filing. Cannot figure how he got the idea that 80% of the male population are somehow more satisfied with a regime of unilateral divorce on demand. (That would be apart from the effect of a regime of ready divorce on the population of existing marriages and the capacity and motivation of people to repair their marriages in that type of context).
December 16th, 2010 | 8:23 pm
Irregardless if the 60-30-10 ratio AD mentions, IMO most divorces are initiated because the spouse being cheated on won’t take it anymore. I can go along with the claim that sometime during the process about 80% of husbands think they’ll be happier. But I suspect that’s false hope and the eventual reality will be different.
December 16th, 2010 | 10:41 pm
That’s assuming the divorce is from both Christian parents. My own parents divorced when one was christian and the other not, and I can tell you it’s not so easy then to “take up the cross” as Mr. French claims. Christianity used to be slammed for keeping women in bad marriages, ironically enough.
Also, is it too much to ask pundits to read their own bible? 1 corinthians 7 states clearly divine commands and paul’s opinions on it, and he clearly mentions no contradiction in allowing an unbelieving spouse to depart in his personal view.
December 17th, 2010 | 8:50 am
Irregardless if the 60-30-10 ratio AD mentions, IMO most divorces are initiated because the spouse being cheated on won’t take it anymore.
Your opinion does not draw from the social reality. Adultery (much less serial adultery) is an issue in only a modest minority of divorces. Most divorces are undertaken for reasons esoteric to anyone but the initiating party (e.g. ‘not feeling appreciated’, &c.). See Maggie Gallagher’s writings on this point.
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