Liturgy is never personal, because it is never about “us”, but about God. I haven’t been to many Roman Catholic funerals, so I cannot comment there, but in Greek Catholic and Orthodox funerals, just about everything is prescribed, from the texts to the music to the gestures and rituals. There is no eulogy, and the whole funeral service unfolds in three distinct parts–first at the home of the deceased or funeral parlor, where the body is laid out, people pay their respects, and the initial blessings are given; second, at the church, where the body is deposited in the nave, before the Royal Doors of the sanctuary, at which most of the prayers, hymns and litanies are sung; and finally, at the gravesite, where a final round of prayers is offered, the family and friends of the departed say farewell, and all join in singing the hymn “Eternal Memory” three times:

Eternal memory,
Eternal memory.
Blessed repose
And eternal memory!
Blessed repose,
And eternal memory!

The atmosphere of the funeral service (Panachida) is not mournful, but neither is it celebratory. It has been described by many as “bright sadness”: we, the living, are saddened by our separation from the departed, but we are gladdened by the thought that death is no longer a permanent separation from God or from the body, but merely a sleep, “in a place where there is no pain, nor sighing, nor mourning, but light everlasting”. When we sing “Eternal memory”, it is not a prayer that WE remember the deceased, but that God always recall him to mind, so that he will indeed live forever.

The key point, however, is the drama is the Church’s drama, not the reader’s drama–in the same way that an iconographer must work within a specified canon of composition, style and color, so, too must the reader, setting aside his ego in the process.

As to which is more difficult, reciting or chanting, I acknowledged in an earlier thread the danger of “going through the motions” in chanting, and outlined the extensive preparations, both practical and spiritual, which one ought to follow prior to reading. That said, I believe it is much more difficult to recite well than to chant well, while it is equally easy to do both very badly indeed.

relatedly, i once stopped going to the noon mass at st. mary’s church in new haven not because it was aesthetically impoverished, but because it was too beautiful for the state of my soul then…. it might still be.

only later did i learn that st. augustine had once come to the same conclusion and acted the same way.