Charlotte Shane is the pen name of a young woman who, as she says, writes “honestly about my life as a prostitute on a modestly trafficked blog.” Although Shane claims she doesn’t glamorize her profession or revel in “sensasionalist hype”, she has numerous young women (and even some young men) who write to her to say how much they envy her life. In an article for Salon.com, she considers why some women want to duplicate her circumstances:
We could blame the usual scapegoats. “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” is a cutesy fantasy full of adventure and expensive fashion. One-time Eliot Spitzer date Ashley Dupre became known to the country as a tan, lanky beauty sporting designer accessories on a yacht. And so-called No. 1 Escort in New York, Natalia McLennan recently released a memoir of her days making $2,000 per hour. But I think the causes are far more complex than a few pop culture artifacts. The glamour of prostitution can’t be traced back to the 1970s “Happy Hooker” Xaviera Hollander or the unrepentant schlock of “Pretty Woman.” It’s the persistent symptom of a society that still insists sexual desirability is a woman’s duty, and wealth is the most important hallmark of success. A young woman who is desirable is a young woman who wields power, and that power is often bestowed in the form of cold, hard cash.
Which isn’t to say the women who e-mail me are power hungry. Rather, I think they are recognizing the ways their culture tells them to achieve. Girls aren’t bombarded with messages telling them that their mental power is urgently needed to address issues like global warming or infectious diseases, or that their athleticism could be parlayed into a life as a professional athlete or coach. Instead, we’re told over and over again that we earn a place at the table — any table — by being polished and well-dressed, with glossy hair and a slim figure. The girls who e-mail me are not lacking internal resources. They’re educated, sensitive, observant, and they have the complex sentences and insightful wording to prove it. But they are living in a world where a woman’s worth is constantly equated with her sex appeal. Is it any wonder that many women might find it compelling to take that equation to its logical end?
(Via: The Atlantic Wire)
January 27th, 2011 | 10:25 am
I wonder how many of the girls she writes about have fathers in their lives. Very few, I’ll bet. A good father affirms a girl’s worth as a female, something even the best mother cannot do.
January 27th, 2011 | 10:36 am
Adam Corolla used to have a great patter on LoveLine.
Caller: Hi, I’m really promiscuous/a stripper putting myself through college/have children by different fathers…
Corolla: So how was your home life growing up? Was your dad not around?
Caller: No, he was around when I was growing up, so was my mom. Our house was pretty stable too.
Corolla: Did he ever abuse you or your mom, or was he an alcoholic?
Caller: No, nothing like that, he was a good father.
Corolla: So you don’t have any issues with your dad?
Caller: No, I love my father!
Corolla: THEN WHY DO YOU SHAME HIM?!
Caller: (silence)
January 27th, 2011 | 10:42 am
Who knows, maybe girls envy escorts and Girls Gone Wild types because their dads have no shame.
January 27th, 2011 | 11:47 am
Question: did you intend to link to her blog? If so, you should probably fix it to be more than just one letter. If not, you ought to remove the link.
January 27th, 2011 | 1:53 pm
When a girl longs to be beautiful so that she can find her perfect mate and marry, we call that sexist – even though marriage really is the only way a woman can have both a family and a career without sacrificing both her own well-being and her child’s.
But when we take that away – so that a girl is allowed to long to be beautiful, but is not allowed to want a “prince charming” to give that beauty to – does she stop wanting what girls want? No. Instead, the desires are channeled along “socially appropriate” routes: she wants to be beautiful “for herself”, not “for” her someday-husband. Only she cannot appreciate her own beauty; beauty is requires two – the one to be admired and the one to do the admiring.
Girls still wants to be admired, and even still enjoys the sensation of using their looks to “hook” a man. What has changed is that she’s not allowed to trust or care for the man she hooks: she can’t “rely” on him – she can’t use her beauty as part of an intricate dance that ends in two becoming one – she can only take all his money and kick him out the next morning.
January 27th, 2011 | 8:28 pm
Women who complain about the pressure to look good are just complaining about biology. Women seem to complain about biology a lot, come to think of it.
But it’s not as if the competition for women doesn’t put pressure on guys via women’s attraction to a man’s socioeconomic status. At least guys take for granted what attracts the opposite sex without complaining about it.
January 28th, 2011 | 8:53 am
[...] Envy? Really!? [...]
January 28th, 2011 | 8:55 am
[...] Envy? Really!? [...]
January 28th, 2011 | 10:44 am
Well said, Blake. Throw into that mix a persistent message that a man isn’t really someone you want to depend on or even put up with permanently because 1) he’s an ignorant slob and 2) he’ll let you down, and it’s not at all surprising that a natural desire takes a most unnatural turn.
January 29th, 2011 | 6:15 am
@Blake
“Only she cannot appreciate her own beauty; beauty is requires two – the one to be admired and the one to do the admiring.”
In this, women would appear to differ from men, most of whom are perfectly happy, contemplating the acme of perfection in their shaving-mirror
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