In today’s second On the Square column, George Weigel praises the Catholic renaissance at Texas A&M University:
Where can you find a Catholic chaplaincy at an institution of higher learning that’s looking to expand its church to seat 1,400, because the current 850 just isn’t enough?
South Bend, Indiana, perhaps? Well, no, actually: College Station, Texas, where the Catholic chaplaincy at Texas A&M, St. Mary’s Catholic Center, is setting a new national standard for Catholic campus ministry.
Aggie Catholicism is something to behold. Daily Mass attendance averages 175; there were closer to 300 Catholic Aggies at Mass on a weekday afternoon when I visited a few years back. Sunday Masses draw between 4,000 and 5,000 worshippers. There are 10 weekly time-slots for confessions, which are also heard all day long on Mondays. Eucharistic adoration, rosary groups, the Liturgy of the Hours, and the traditional First Friday devotion are staples of Aggie Catholicism’s devotional life.
Alumni of Texas A&M will appreciate the piece, though they will need someone from the University of Texas to explain the meaning of big words like “renaissance.” For those who aren’t from A&M I thought I should add the missing element from the otherwise fine article—Aggie jokes!
Here are a few of my favorites:
Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus.
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
Did you hear about the Aggie that drove his pickup into the lake?
His dog drowned while he tried to get the tailgate down.
Why don’t Aggies use 911 in an emergency?
Because they can’t find “eleven” on the phone dial.
How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?
Two. One to do the eating, and one to watch for cars.
How do you sink a submarine which is manned by Aggies?
Have a diver knock on the hatch.
There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to send a probe to the sun, but some UT students
said that was impossible and that the probe would burn up long before reaching the sun.
The Aggies replied that they planned to send the probe at night.
An Aggie ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
”Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”
Did you hear about the Aggie who got locked out of his car?
He spent two hours trying to get his wife and kids out.
How do you know when an Aggie has sent you a fax?
When there’s a stamp on it.
Why can’t Aggie farmers raise chickens?
They plant the eggs too deep.
An Aggie scientist is doing experiments on a frog, trying to find out the effects of cutting its legs off.
The Aggie saws the first leg off and says, “Jump, frog, jump.” The frog jumps five feet. The Aggie makes a note: With three legs, frog jumps five feet.
The Aggie then saws off another leg and says, “Jump, frog jump!” The frog jumps one foot. The Aggie makes a note: With two legs, frog jumps one foot.
Finally, the Aggie saws off the last foot and says, “Jump, frog jump! … Jump, frog jump! … Jump, frog jump!”
The Aggie scientist makes a note: With no legs, frog goes completely deaf.
Read more here. What’s your favorite Aggie joke?