With the release of her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and her article in the WSJ on “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” Yale Law School professor Amy Chua ignited a debate about what constitutes “successful” parenting.
Pamela J. Nielsen considers the question from the perspective of vocation:
If you are a parent, your children are your vocation and your most important calling. God sets the standard for you: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). To raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is to raise children with God’s Word, in His Church, where His gifts of forgiveness, life and salvation are given to all who believe. These are the “first things” for Christian moms, dads and children.
In sharp contrast, Ms. Chua and many others have determined quite a different standard or set of “first things” in raising their children. We’re familiar with them because we have been tempted to make them primary in our homes too: good grades, first place, social standing, perfect performances and winning championships. These are the world’s marks of success, but they are not God’s. In our efforts to achieve these worldly standards, sometimes the “first thing” of bringing our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord becomes a second, third or fourth thing.
How? When we frequently skip church and Sunday School for team practice or tournaments. When we complain that Pastor’s assignments and requirements for confirmation are too much, even as we pay for extra tutoring in math for our child. When we disdain helping our children with learning Bible verses and the catechism while spending long hours creating the perfect science project.
The doctrine of vocation puts these things in their proper order.
(Via: Gene Veith)
April 25th, 2011 | 12:12 pm
This is what I keep coming back to with Amy Chua. Stipulated:
1. Her priorities are wrong.
2. Her methods are over the top.
But, is the kind of single-mindedness she shows a bad thing? I would think that it is unquestionably a good thing, provided it is in the service of the correct First Things and subservient to a Christian conscience about how she should treat her children as divine image-bearers, how she should use her resources in other respects, and so forth.
The world runs away from the single-mindedness of her method, using the priorities and specific abuses of authority as reasons. But I think it’s at least arguable that as Christians we should embrace it. My concern is that approaches like the one Pamela Nielsen follows in her article, while correct as far as it goes, allow us to evade the passion and commitment because we reject the priorities they serve.
April 25th, 2011 | 6:42 pm
The real irony is that she conflicts with her mother-in-law over raising her kids — but her mother-in-law’s laid-back style did manage to raise the man she married.
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