In his latest On the Square column , Russell E. Saltzman shares some of the dumb requests people make for their weddings and funerals:

There was that one time I ended up playing straight man to the groom’s dog. I didn’t know anything about the animal until perhaps three days before the wedding. I consented to do it as a guest pastor, so I’m not entirely at fault here. But the interim pastor knew about it. The board of deacons knew about it. Certainly the wedding party knew about it. Nobody told me a thing, and when they did it was too late to back out.

Admittedly, the Rottweiler did not have an entirely central role in the ceremony, being listed in the bulletin only as the ring bearer. I remark only in passing that anybody who was at all connected to the wedding was listed in the bulletin, complete with brief biographical lines, including the dog; everyone except the pastor.