3 Comments

Jack Perry
April 16th, 2012 | 11:54 am

After admitting that the “cohabitation effect” may be causal, not merely correlative, the author adds,

More good news is that a 2010 survey by the Pew Research Center found that nearly two-thirds of Americans saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

David Nickol
April 16th, 2012 | 1:50 pm

There are none so blind as those who will not see.


Jack Perry,

You seem to be interpreting the article differently from the way I do. It sounds to me like what makes the difference between marriages that last and those that don’t is up-front commitment. Those who drift into cohabitation and then drift into marriage exhibit less commitment than those who plan to get married first whether or not they cohabit. Those who cohabit to see how things work out—kind of a trial marriage—are obviously less committed than those who reach a point of certainty about whom they want to spend the rest of their lives with and set a date to get married.

So it is a good thing (if one is concerned about marriages lasting) to see cohabitation as a step toward marriage, considering that the alternatives are drifting into it, deciding to do it because two can live as cheaply as one, seeing cohabitation as something you do before you are ready to settle down, and so on. The more cohabitation is seen as a step toward marriage, the more those choosing to cohabit are making a commitment to marry. The more committed they are before they are married, the more likely their marriage is to last. If people were to see cohabitation solely as a step toward marriage, cohabitation would be kind of like betrothal in Biblical times—almost indistinguishable from marriage itself.

Jack Perry
April 16th, 2012 | 3:19 pm

David, you’re right. I definitely interpret it differently, in two ways.

First, nothing in the article suggested to me that people who see cohabitation as a step toward marriage are much less likely to divorce than those who drift into it. I came away with the opposite impression, in fact, but perhaps I misread it.

Second, if cohabitation is seen as a natural step, people will be more likely to drift into cohabitation, and thus into marriage. And that’s what struck me: according to the author, 2/3 of those surveyed seeing it that way. Apparently it is seen as a natural step.