at Verily:
In 1960, the median age of marriage for women was 20. Today, it is 27.
While our grandmothers had no qualms about walking down the aisle in their early twenties, today anyone thinking about marriage under the age of 25 gets a lot of advice about not rushing into things. Marrying young is often seen as scary or stupid―or both.
What makes early marriage so frightening?
Part of the answer lies in that a marriage, as personal as it is, influences and is influenced by its environment. If you have a divorced co-worker, you are 55 percent more likely to get divorced than if you didn’t work alongside a divorcée. We take our cues from one another; which means that in a culture of divorce we are more cautious about marriage, and in a single society, we are more cautious about marrying young.
In her essay “‘There but for the Grace’: The Ethics of Bystanders to Divorce,” scholar M. Christian Green reflects on how divorce affects not only divorcées, but everyone else, too. But in my experience, the inverse is also true. Good marriages have a way of sharing some of their strength with the rest of us.
October 25th, 2012 | 8:46 am
A nice, short article which flies in the face to today’s “received wisdom.”
A common-sense window into the Catholic recognition of marriage as sacramental–ie, the married couple is a sign that others read and are affected by, for better or worse. A hint of the radical notion expressed by Bl John Paul II in his theology of the body–matrimony is the primordial sacrament, a sacrament established in Eden “from the beginning”, and a form for the whole sacramental system.
A reminder that we, who tend to think of our marriages as our own private matter, are involved in a very public witness. We contribute mightily to the Common Good when we, as JP II exhorted, “become what we are”–an authentic symbol of the free, total, faithful and fruitful love of God.
October 25th, 2012 | 10:21 am
I got married at 23 and my wife was 21. She came from a strong middle class christian 2 parent family. I came from a poor single parent nonchristian home. I became a christian in my teens. On top of this, I am black and she is white. We are now at 19 years and 4 children. There are 3 things that helped tremendously:
1. Shared faith in God
2. Her parents have been great role models
3. A broad faith community that still supports us.
#3 is key. In a culture of divorce, like the writer said, its good to be around people who value and practice marriage as a commitment and culture.
October 25th, 2012 | 12:30 pm
I once happened on a manual by an early 20th century canonist. He discussed what would constitute a “grave reason” for granting a dispensation from such impediments as mixed marriage or the prohibited degrees, such as cousins. One of them was that the lady was “supraadulta” or “on the shelf.” The age he fixed on for this deplorable condition was 24, although he acknowledged that other grave writers had thought 23 sufficed.
October 26th, 2012 | 9:01 am
This idea isn’t entirely new, nor limited to marriage, though. Smoking or non-smoking, obesity or healthy weight habits, are also ‘contagious’.
Links
Blogs
Find Us
Contact