Here and elsewhere, I’ve welcomed your honest and thoughtful words. I can only assume it requires a sense of both calling and courage to publish your reflections, and I’m sorry for the way your must have to filter the remote responses to them.

A rich way of attending to much of what you’ve pointed out is to have families invite their single friends to live with them. Many families middle-class and up have a guest bedroom, which is very Western, but perhaps sub-biblical. Single friends living with us have enriched our family life while experiencing it themselves – sharing meals, raising our children, and hopefully seeing and shaping our marriage.

If you’re ever in Denver, we’d love to have you over to share conversations like these over a long day of meals, but I’m afraid our extended “family” will be occupying the spare room

I also wonder whether our fantasy of what a life partner will provide for us needs challenging? The idea of ‘the other half’ is Aristotelian. The Bible teaches that we are whole beings created for community with God and each other, not half of a mythical unit. Jerry Maguire is wrong – we do not ‘complete’ one another!

I am single – and over 40, (never mind 30). There are changes and challenges like there are for all of us at any age but I think being proactive in building relationships, choosing to use the flexibility and freedom you have constructively, and cultivating an attitude of gratitude help. Not easy – not immediate… but really healthy! Likewise recognizing which friendships are a blessing for a season and which (few) are precious for a lifetime has helped me. Both can be great!

“You are first and primarily a human being, and therefore someone called to chastity, and the proper expressions of your sexuality are defined and limited and do not include homosexual practice. Being homosexual is only the personal context in which you are called to be chaste, as being heterosexual is the context for most people. But it is not an identity that brings with it a way of life.”

This was a comment in another article recently on First Thoughts that you need to think about. I’m not insensitive to the needs of gay people for friendship at any age, however how would one be a ‘friend’ to a homosexual….even a chaste one? I’ve known a few homosexuals and lesbians over the years and I honestly liked them but wouldn’t be able to feel completely comfortable if they were Catholics who told me they were gay. One can’t be fully faithful to their Faith and keep calling themselves ‘gay.’

It’s heroic to fight the fight against strong inclinations in any person……gay or hetero….against purity. But there are people who have dedicated their lives to helping them. Take those addicted (‘attracted’) to porn or booze………these kinds of things can be overcome with the grace of God but you can’t keep on trying to keep your ‘addiction’ or ‘attraction’ without seeking help in overcoming it. No committed Catholic or Christian can fellowship with someone who won’t do their best to overcome themselves.

It sure does. As I’ve said here and elsewhere, this seems to be the expectation for gay Christians everywhere: a lifetime of unremitting celibacy. The author reminds us that even friends are difficult to acquire after a certain age. So what does that leave for gay men and women were are discouraged from even seeking out other gay men and women for friendships?

Not much.