Friday, August 16, 2013, 11:58 AM
In the Boston Globe:
…Silva, who is now at Harvard University on a postdoctoral fellowship, set out to talk with some of these young people about how they were managing the transition to adulthood in the post-industrial economy. In 100 in-depth, in-person interviews, she found a new working-class adult “bewildered in the labor market, betrayed by institutions, distrustful of love, disconnected from others, and committed to emotional growth.”
Those conversations are at the heart of “Coming Up Short: Working-Class Adulthood in an Age of Uncertainty,” a brief yet devastating book that blends academic analysis and oral history to put a new face on well-documented trends that are more usually described in the abstract. The 21st-century labor market prizes flexibility, education, and technological skills—a landscape that benefits white-collar workers and leaves others struggling to adapt. Well-paying union jobs are being replaced by retail and food-service work, and a financial instability that hurts communities and personal relationships. Silva found people adapting to this landscape of dimmed hopes in surprising ways.
Instead of expressing frustration about their struggles, Silva found, they were adopting an entirely new definition of adulthood in which success was measured not by marriage and homeownership, but by defining and conquering emotional problems, mental illness, family chaos, and addiction. To her surprise, hard-won emotional self-management was often viewed with as much pride as diplomas or marriage certificates. (more…)
Friday, August 16, 2013, 11:54 AM
Maia Szalavitz reports:
Recent claims about the hookup culture among college students are greatly exaggerated, it seems.
Despite racy headlines suggesting that college kids are increasingly choosing casual liaisons over serious relationships, a new study presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association finds that just under one-third of college students have had more than one partner in the past year.
And that’s exactly the same proportion of students who were surveyed between 1988 and ’96, and between 2002 and ’10; both groups also had the same number of partners. So kids aren’t hooking up more than they ever were, or even more than their parents did, which is what recent media coverage has implied.
“College students today are not having more sexual partners [after] age 18, more sexual partners over the last year or more sex than their parents,” says the study’s lead author Martin Monto, professor of sociology at the University of Portland in Oregon. Gen Xers were actually more likely to have sex weekly or more frequently compared with millenials, according to the research. …
But Bogle and Monto do agree that students tend to think their peers hook up far more frequently than they actually do. One study found that on average, students report a total of five to seven hookups in their entire college career. But when Bogle surveyed students about how often they thought their fellow students were hooking up, they typically said seven times a semester. “That would be 56 people” in four years, she says.
In fact, 1 in 4 college students is a virgin and in the new research, only 20% of students from either era reported having six or more partners after turning 18.
That discrepancy in perception may explain the conflicting beliefs about whether college kids are really hooking up more than they used to — or not. The current study did find — based on reports by the students of their own sexual relationships — some evidence that recent generations of college students are having slightly more casual sex and so-called friends-with-benefits relationships. About 44% of students in the 2000s reported having had sex with a “casual date or pickup,” compared with 35% in the 1980s and ’90s — and 68% reported having had sex with a “friend” in the previous year, compared with 56% in the earlier group. (more…)
Wednesday, August 7, 2013, 10:43 PM
At the excellently named cohabitation/marriage research blog “Sliding vs. Deciding”:
I last left you on the edge of your seat about what I’d write next about the study on extradyadic sex I introduced you to in my last post. If you have not already read the prior post, please do so as this one builds on it. That post was all about findings in a study from our lab at the University of Denver (Shaw, Rhoades, Allen, Stanley, & Markman, 2013).
Here’s a very brief recap: Shaw et al. examined predictors of having sex outside of one’s serious, unmarried, romantic relationship over a 20 month period of time. As you can read in the prior post, many variables were associated with new occurrences of infidelity in these relationships and many other variables were not associated with infidelity. For example, those who were happier and more committed and who had less negativity with their partners were less likely to report having had sex with someone else. Not shocking but good to know. In contrast, those who had a greater number of prior sexual partners or who reported more use of alcohol were more likely to report having had sex with someone else. And so forth and so on.
Did any of the findings seem surprising to you? The finding that I think many people would consider surprising is that living together was not significantly associated with whether or not a person reported having had sex with someone other than their partner. That is, living together was not associated with greater odds of cheating nor was it associated with lower odds of cheating. Living together just didn’t provide information about sexual exclusivity.
I believe that many people believe that cohabitation = commitment or that it means there has been a step-up in commitment. Closely related, I believe that many people believe the fact that two people live together means that the two partners are “off the market,” so to speak. There actually is no evidence that I know of for believing this.
More (via W. Bradford Wilcox on Twitter, whom people interested in marriage news/sociology should follow)
Monday, July 8, 2013, 4:32 PM
at the Atlantic:
According to recent data from the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey, American wives were nearly 40 percent more likely to be cheating on their spouses in 2010 than in 1990. The number of husbands reporting infidelity, meanwhile, stayed constant at 21 percent, meaning wives are now cheating 70% as often. Could women soon be catching up with male indiscretions in the world of infidelity? Yanyi Djamba, director of the AUM Center for Demographic Research, certainly seems to think so, telling Bloomberg that “the gender gap is closing” and explaining that men have been more likely to blame adultery on an unhappy marriage.
What could be driving the rise of female cheating? Explanations abound, ranging from women’s increased economic independence over the past several decades (women “can afford the potential consequences of an affair, with higher incomes and more job prospects,” argued one sociologist) to cultural shifts to the Internet (including but not limited to dating and extramarital meetup sites).
Monday, July 8, 2013, 4:28 PM
A child-custody dispute involving actor Jason Patric has evolved from Hollywood tabloid fodder into a policy battle in the state Legislature that could affect thousands of California parents.
Patric, a star of films including “The Lost Boys,” donated sperm in 2009 as part of a fertility treatment that resulted in pregnancy for a former girlfriend, Danielle Schreiber.
The actor decided he wanted to help raise the child, Gus, who is now 3, but has been stymied in his attempts to gain partial custody in court. A bill unanimously passed by the state Senate, now pending in the Assembly, would change the law to make such efforts easier.
Under state law, someone who donates sperm through a doctor or sperm bank and who is not married to the woman who conceives is not recognized as the child’s natural father. The only exception is if the couple agreed in writing before conception that the donor was to be considered a parent.
Monday, July 1, 2013, 11:44 PM
at The Atlantic:
…As a psychology researcher who’d published articles in scientific journals, some covered in the popular press, I knew that many scientific findings differ significantly from what the public hears about them. Soon after my second wedding, I decided to go to the source: I scoured medical-research databases, and quickly learned that the statistics on women’s age and fertility—used by many to make decisions about relationships, careers, and when to have children—were one of the more spectacular examples of the mainstream media’s failure to correctly report on and interpret scientific research.
The widely cited statistic that one in three women ages 35 to 39 will not be pregnant after a year of trying, for instance, is based on an article published in 2004 in the journal Human Reproduction. Rarely mentioned is the source of the data: French birth records from 1670 to 1830. The chance of remaining childless—30 percent—was also calculated based on historical populations. …
The data, imperfect as they are, suggest two conclusions. No. 1: fertility declines with age. No. 2, and much more relevant: the vast majority of women in their late 30s will be able to get pregnant on their own. The bottom line for women, in my view, is: plan to have your last child by the time you turn 40. Beyond that, you’re rolling the dice, though they may still come up in your favor. “Fertility is relatively stable until the late 30s, with the inflection point somewhere around 38 or 39,” Steiner told me. “Women in their early 30s can think about years, but in their late 30s, they need to be thinking about months.” That’s also why many experts advise that women older than 35 should see a fertility specialist if they haven’t conceived after six months—particularly if it’s been six months of sex during fertile times.
Sunday, June 30, 2013, 1:54 PM
As a former tour-guide at Mormon historic sites, I have encountered more than one fundamentalist Mormon family in which the strutting husband seems to regard his flock of servile wives like glorified property. We’re not wrong to want to discourage this. Moreover, those remote compounds in which exile fundamentalist communities brainwash their girls and discard their surplus boys are intolerable horrors. But this is all the more reason to bring polygamy out from the margins of our society. As with sex work, the horrors here have little to do with anything inherent in the practice and almost everything to do with the fact that we’ve made it illegal and dishonourable.
…Conservatives have worried that same-sex marriage would somehow entail the ruination of the family as the foundation of society, but we have seen only the flowering of family values among same-sex households, the domestication of the gays. Whatever our fears about polyamorous marriage, I suspect we’ll find them similarly ill-founded. For one thing, what could be more family-friendly than four moms and six dads?
Sunday, June 30, 2013, 1:41 PM
As college costs keep rising and student-loan debt causes national consternation, more Americans are asking whether young people should bother with college.
Here, at least, is one point in favor of higher education: Americans who fail to complete at least some post-secondary education – if not a college degree, then an associate’s degree or some college credit — sabotage their chances of landing a job as the economy continues to recover, according to a new report out Wednesday.
The U.S. economy will generate 55 million job openings by 2020, according to the Georgetown University Center on Education and the Workforce, and 65% of those jobs will require some training beyond a high-school education. …
As the U.S. has moved from an industrial economy to one based more on knowledge, jobs have demanded greater levels of education. In 1973, according to the Georgetown Center, 72% of jobs required a high-school education or less. In 2010, that figure was 41%, and by 2020, it will have fallen to 36%.
more (I’m still unclear on what counts as “training” and why that’s conflated with “a college degree” here)
Thursday, June 13, 2013, 2:49 PM
Oh boy, he’s having a baby.
It’s hard to ignore these images of teenage boys sporting “pregnant” bellies and that’s exactly the intent of Chicago’s new eye-catching teen pregnancy prevention campaign.
Launched last month, it aims to “spark conversations among adolescents and adults on the issue of teen pregnancy and to make the case that teen parenthood is more than just a girl’s responsibility,” according to the Chicago Department of Public Health. …
Chicago’s teen birth rate remains one of the highest in the nation, but it decreased 33 percent from 1999 to 2009, according to a report released by the Chicago Department of Public Health last December.
The photos are part of a larger campaign that aims to make sure that decline continues, Richardson said.
It’s not the first time a city has used provocative images and messages to get the conversation started about teen pregnancy – with mixed results.
In March, New York City officials were criticized for a public education campaign that featured posters showing toddlers with messages such as, “Dad, you’ll be paying to support me for the next 20 years.”
Thursday, June 13, 2013, 2:06 PM
Wineries are coming out loud and proud in their support of gay marriage. They’re putting it right on the label.
“Little by little, we’re breaking down the barrier,” says Gary Saperstein of Out in the Vineyard, an events and tour company based in Sonoma wine country that caters to gay travelers.
One of the barrier breakers is Same Sex Meritage, a red blend that sends its message on the bottle and at the cash register: One dollar for every bottle sold is donated to the advocacy group Freedom to Marry.
Thursday, June 6, 2013, 6:53 PM
A New Hampshire school district bans dodgeball. A Georgia school sends a kindergartener off in handcuffs. A Florida high school is shut down when a student brings in a mercury thermometer. Across the country, schools and school districts are overreacting to risk—often to the detriment of children’s education.
We entrust our children to teachers and principals with the expectation that they will be both educated and protected from harm. When, inevitably, incidents happen—especially when those incidents are tragic and well-publicized—communities often press for stricter rules and procedures. School administrations have reacted to the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School with extreme protectiveness; one school suspended a six-year-old for “pointing his finger like a gun and saying ‘pow,’” while another suspended two boys for playing cops and robbers.
In addition to protecting children from harm, schools also look to protect themselves from lawsuits, which a study by Public Agenda labeled a “perpetual fear” that influence teacher and principal decision-making. To shield themselves from legal exposure, schools have attempted to eliminate every conceivable risk—no tire swings, no dodgeball, no monkey bars. Field trips require complex liability waivers. Teachers can’t be left alone with students. Every activity requires paperwork—documentation, permissions, waivers.
Administrators’ authority has been diminished by an increased reliance on police to handle disciplinary matters as well as by restrictive policies, often imposed by state legislatures, that create an illusion of safety but prevent schools from making sensible disciplinary decisions. …
Our schools should be safe, but are the steps we take in response to threats at the extremes—everyday playground accidents on one end, school shootings at the other—doing more harm than good?
more (with responses from Lenore Skenazy, Walter Olson and several more)
Thursday, May 30, 2013, 12:51 PM
in the Guardian:
…My best friend and I had been friends for 20 years, and then, one day, nothing. She stopped returning my calls; she ignored my messages. She was living in another country so I had no way of reaching her, no way to confront her. Months passed and I realised that my best friend had stopped being my best friend. Had, in fact, stopped being my friend altogether. And I didn’t know why.
One of the things that bothered me most was the silence; not only my former best friend’s silence towards me, but also the fact that I felt that I couldn’t speak of what had happened between us to anyone else. It felt almost too trivial to mention. But I had to mention it, and did one night to my writing group.
They did not think it was trivial. In fact, as the night wore on, and we all shared our stories of the loss of once-close friends, we realised how devastating such breakdowns were; that there isn’t enough attention paid to the difficulties or complexities in relationships between women. And we realised that there were stories to tell about the break ups of close friendships, and that it was important to tell them. It was this that prompted Just Between Us, the anthology we have co-edited about female friendship.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013, 11:33 PM
Mothers are the primary breadwinners in four out of 10 U.S. households with minor children, a record number driven up by growing populations of single moms and married women who make more than their husbands, according to a report released Wednesday from the Pew Research Center. …
Disparities between the two groups are sharp. The married moms are more likely to be white, educated and older, making a median income of $50,000. While the unmarried mothers are frequently younger, either black or hispanic, and bringing in a median income of $20,000.
“The growth of both groups of mothers is tied to women’s increasing presence in the workplace,” the study states, pointing out that women make up 47 percent of the labor force and that more mothers work outside the home today: 65 percent according to 2011 census data, compared with 37 percent in 1968.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013, 1:21 PM
I’ve been travelling a lot recently and in Anchorage (American Bar Association Family Law Section Meeting) I was on a panel with a doctor who does fertility work in southern California. He mentioned that it was now possible to give a gift certificate that allowed the recipient to have her own eggs frozen. It turns out to be a popular gift from parents to their daughters who are graduating from law school.
The idea here is that the eggs can be harvested when the daughter is young and in her (reproductive) prime and then they can be safely stored away until after she finds Mr. (or maybe Ms?) Right and/or gets her career up and running. It’s a way of stopping–at least for a while–the biological clock. Now, thanks to the wonders of technology and the generosity of her parents, the daughter has a choice. Freezing her eggs lets her have it all.
more (and my own take is to throw this in the bulging pile of “Why Change the Workplace When We Can Just Change (Or Ignore) Women’s Biology?” stories….)
Thursday, April 25, 2013, 12:54 PM
on his recent study, which seems relevant to several posts here in the past few months:
Studies on faith-based campuses are beginning to offer a glimpse into the real experience of sexual minority students in these unique settings. This study adds to this growing body of information by surveying 247 undergraduates, who describe themselves as sexual minorities at 19 Christian schools across the United States. They responded to questions related to attitudes regarding sexuality, sexual identity, religiosity, and sexual milestone events. The results from this sample suggst those who attend higher education at faith-based institutions are a distinct group within Western culture when it comes tot he development of religious/spiritual identity and sexual identity. Although diversity with regard to same-sex and opposite-sex attraction is present among those surveyed, common themes exist for this unique sample of undergraduates. Implications for mainstream culture and Christian educational institutions are discussed.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013, 10:48 AM
India Ink blog:
After decades of fixing arranged marriages for their children, Indian parents are taking on a new challenge: trying to orchestrate their kids’ love marriages.
A new generation of young Indian professionals has refused to follow the arranged-marriage route, with its emphasis on caste, family ties, wealth and skin color – with the blessings of their parents.
But as these kids tread toward their 30s, some parents say they fear their offspring’s chances of finding a marriage partner are evaporating entirely. These parents, while trying to respect their children’s wishes, are trying other measures, like pushing their offspring to singles networks and online dating sites.
Friday, April 19, 2013, 3:09 PM
in the Washington Post:
…It’s hard to overstate the breakdown of marriage and the rise of single-parent families. Consider out-of-wedlock births. In 1980, about 18 percent of births were to unmarried women; by 2009, the proportion was 41 percent. Among whites, the increase was from 11 percent to 36 percent; among African Americans, from 56 percent to 72 percent; among Hispanics, from 37 percent (1990) to 53 percent. Or look at the share of children living with two parents. Since 1970, that’s dropped from 82 percent to 63 percent. Among whites, the decline is from 87 percent to 73 percent; among African Americans, from 57 percent to 31 percent; among Hispanics, from 78 percent to 57 percent.
Just what caused these changes remains controversial. In his 2012 book “Coming Apart,” Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute cited shifts in cultural norms. Having a child out of wedlock became more common and acceptable; the sexual revolution enabled men to get sex without marriage. The waning power of religion undermined the importance of family. Feminism and expanding welfare programs made it easier for women to survive — through jobs or aid — on their own. Liberalized divorce led to more breakups.
But there’s also a more strictly economic case. In a paper for Third Way, a liberal think tank, economists David Autor and Melanie Wasserman of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology attribute the decline of marriage — which, like Murray, they say is concentrated among the poorly educated — to the eroding economic heft of men compared with women. Women are more independent economically; men are weaker. Marriage has lost much of its pecuniary pull.
To this hypothesis, they bring much statistical evidence.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013, 9:25 PM
In the wake of a very good story about American day care by The New Republic‘s Jonathan Cohn, the liberal blogosphere is abuzz with ideas about improving day care for Americans. And as is required (I think it’s in the Constitution somewhere), any American left-of-center discussion of day care must be filled with encomiums to the French childcare system, with its wonderful public crèches (“crèche” just means “day care center”, but they must be called “crèche”) and other amenities. As both a conservative and an actual French parent, I find much of what I read about the French system to be simply fantastical.
Thursday, April 4, 2013, 9:29 PM
…It turns out I was not—am not—alone. A March 2012 Purdue University study suggests that between 18 and 26 percent of adoptive mothers struggle with post-adoption depression, brought on by extreme fatigue, unrealistic expectations of parenthood or a lack of community support.
In the course of interviewing some 300 women who’d adopted one or more children in the prior two years, Karen J. Foli, an assistant professor of nursing at Purdue, says that she and her team—including Susan South and Eunjung Lim—began examining societal assumptions about adoptive parents. Among them: the belief that the mother who doesn’t carry a child for nine months or doesn’t go through labor does not require as much help after the child comes home, does not need respite care, or someone to unload the dishwasher, or a few casseroles in the freezer.
I had certainly assumed as much. I didn’t take maternity leave, feeling at some deep level that I neither needed it nor earned it. I kept up with my reporting and writing assignments, underestimating the importance of just rolling around on the floor with our new baby, who likely was grieving the sudden absence of his beloved foster mom. I didn’t feel that I “deserved” as much help as my friends who’d given birth had received. I found myself questioning my authenticity as Jake’s mother. I’d look at Jake and think: This child came from another woman’s body. Who am I to say I am his mother?
“No matter what, there is time when the [adopted] child has lived apart from his or her adoptive parents,” says Foli, co-author, with Dr. John R. Thompson, of The Post Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption. “When he comes home, it adds to society’s impression that the adoptive parents are the ‘winners,’ as compared to the birth parents, who relinquished the child, and the child himself … There is this unspoken message that the adoptive parents are coming out [ahead] of all in the adoption triad, [so] there can be a stigma when you, the adoptive parent, struggle in your new role. This was your life goal, people say to adoptive parents. This was what you wanted.”
Thursday, April 4, 2013, 3:05 PM
Children are going through puberty at an increasingly early age, and the changes to their bodies are also affecting their mental health, new research says.
Biological changes are happening earlier in children around the world – in 1860, the average age for European girls to develop breasts was 16.6 years. In 2010, the average age was 9.9 years, according to a United States study.
Other recent studies out of the US have found boys as young as 6 and girls as young as 8 showing the first signs of puberty.
An Australian study published yesterday has found that early puberty is associated with poorer mental health. It could also be why more people were suffering mental health problems later in life, Professor George Patton, of the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute in Melbourne, said.
The study also found that boys who started puberty before their ninth birthdays suffered from behavioural difficulties, but girls did not. …
The children who began puberty earlier also had poorer mental health when they were aged 4 or 5. Dr Mensah said this suggested the link between early puberty and poorer mental health was due to “developmental processes” that started early in life.
Thursday, April 4, 2013, 3:03 PM
Nearly one in five births to U.S. teens ages 15-19 is not a first child, says a federal report out today.
Of the 365,000 teens who gave birth in 2010, almost 67,000 (18.3%) have had at least one child before, according to the report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That’s down from 19.5% in 2007. Most were the teen mom’s second child (86%).
But more teen moms are using birth control, the report says — almost 91% used some form of contraception after having had a baby. But just 22% of those used contraceptive methods considered to be “most effective” — tubal ligation, vasectomy, hormonal implant or intrauterine device (IUD). With those, the report says, the risk of becoming pregnant is less than one pregnancy in 100 users a year. The pill, injectables, the patch and the ring are considered “moderately effective.” …
Manlove says as recently as 1990, 25% of teen births were repeat births. “We have seen a steady gradual decline,” she says. “Maybe these long-acting methods are the way to go to reduce repeat teen births in the future.”
Tuesday, April 2, 2013, 11:43 AM
this point about social and parental pressure is really important:
I say this as someone who married late, and since I wouldn’t want to have married anyone except my husband, I’m glad I waited. But as a general rule, you should err on the side of marrying early. By which I mean not that you should marry whoever happens to be around when you turn 22, but that you should be willing to recognize, at the age of 22, that you’ve found someone you want to marry. Right now, most Princeton students don’t think that way. They think there’s something weird about committing at 22. And if they try to commit, their friends and parents will warn them off.
Thursday, March 28, 2013, 2:32 PM
…In a word, alcohol is what protected me from growing up.
That seems like such an obvious insight, so simple it borders on the banal, but until that moment I’d never really grasped the idea that growth was something you could choose, that adulthood might be less a chronological state than an emotional one which you decide, through painful acts, to both enter and maintain. Like a lot of people I know (alcoholics and not), I’d spent most of my life waiting for maturity to hit me from the outside, as though I’d just wake up one morning and be done, like a roast in the oven.
–Drinking: A Love Story
Wednesday, March 27, 2013, 10:31 PM
…And if you dig into the footnotes in the Pew study linked by Frum’s column, which seems to show the percentage of fathers living with their children stabilizing in the 2000s, it looks like “father” is being defined to include any male adult whose live-in partner has a child. If, on the other hand, you focus on the percentage of children living with married two-parent families, then the 2000s suddenly look much worse.
Here I’d invite readers to examine figures 2, 3, 8, 12, 13 and 14 at the back of this year’s National Marriage Report, all of which tell a similar story: The marriage rate’s decline accelerated in the 2000s compared to the 1990s; so did the rise in the rate of out-of-wedlock births; and so did the rise in the rate of cohabitation, with and without children. (Interestingly, there’s also some evidence that the divorce rate stopped falling over the last decade, though this is complicated by problems with the data sources that I’m not competent to adjudicate.) Nor can these trends be chalked up to the shock of the Great Recession: Per the CDC, unmarried childbearing “resumed a steep climb since 2002,” and the cohabitation rate was also headed sharply upward before the financial crisis and its aftermath.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013, 10:25 PM
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When Philip Wiederspan began teaching first-grade at age 25, he was the only male, except for the gym teacher. His former New Jersey college friends would look at him in shock when they learned his profession: “How can you do that? You must have a lot of patience.”
“It requires a lot of patience,” he said. “They are babies when they come in, just out of kindergarten, and by the end of the year, they are independent and can work on something by themselves for 10 minutes. Then they come back in September and, my God, they’re babies, again.”
Today, at 51, Wiederspan has devoted more than half his life to the youngest students at Upper Freehold Regional Elementary School in Allentown, N.J.
“Word got out my first year of teaching,” he said. “Parents would call the office to come and visit my classroom to see if they wanted their kids in my class. I remember that distinctly … they just wanted to see.”
As a man, Wiederspan is a rarity in U.S. elementary-school education. And experts say that as boys continue to lag behind girls academically, schools could use more male teachers.
(Full disclosure: This reporter’s son, now 31, was a student in Wiederspan’s first-grade classroom and thrived having a male role model, later going into teaching himself.) …
Stereotypes about male teachers, and sometimes mistrust, persist.
“It’s very hard to change the suspicion of men who are going to elementary education when there are so few of them,” Thompson said. “Schools ask me to talk to men on their faculty and when I sit with them behind closed doors, they say the moms look at them like potential pedophiles.
“If they are too nurturing or a mother comes in and sees a teacher reading in a chair and the child is leaning against the teacher or cuddling him, they freak out,” he said. “Men tell me they only have to look in the mom’s face to know what they are thinking.”