Here it comes.

Truth to tell, I do not like Mother’s Day. It is a mawkish, manufactured holiday—a counterfeit tradition like Kwanza. But now that it is upon us, women might as well make the most of it. This is the day to milk what remains of filial guilt for all it is worth. Lay it on thick, sisters.

Get the jump on neglectful, inattentive offspring. Do not wait for your begets to send the usual Mother’s Day boilerplate from the greeting card industry. Plug the ooze of pastel, market-researched sentiments. Go on the offensive; upend protocol. Drop this in the mail to your slack brood:

 

silly old day

 

  If you prefer suggestive indirection, you can remind them of your tender, sheltering, watchful, supportive maternity with this:

 

sometimes I cry

 

 Then there are our own mothers to be thought of. No problem. Ask the endearing Zeichen Press to run this off for you:

 

let us not dwell.2


   • • • •

Anna Jarvis, unmarried and childless, founded Mother’s Day in honor of her own mother, Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis. Mrs. Jarvis was a dynamic woman, an eloquent public speaker, organizer and true humanitarian in the Civil War era. She also knew her own worth and impressed it upon her daughter:


I hope that someone, sometime will found a memorial mother’s day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it.


 

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