Ever wonder why I’m not a PORCHER or am soft on TACO BELL and WAFFLE HOUSE. It could be because ME and my people are ADDICTED TO COKE. The NYT reports:

In an effort to control as much market share as possible, Coke extended its aggressive marketing to especially poor or vulnerable areas of the U.S., like New Orleans — where people were drinking twice as much Coke as the national average — or Rome, Ga., where the per capita intake was nearly three Cokes a day.

Now that you FEEL for me because I live in an especially poor, vulnerable, and easily controlled area, let me add that out of fear of a sugary death I haven’t really had a REAL COKE in years. Once in great while I’ll indulge in a CHOCOLATE COKE ZERO at STEAK AND SHAKE.