We have become a culture that tells the elderly, people with disabilities, and others who need care and support that they are “burdens.” Indeed, in my recent debate in Edinburgh with Dr. Libby Wilson, my opponent explicitly supported legalizing assisted suicide so that the ill and disabled could give their families the “gift” of not being a burden.
This is why I think that the assisted suicide/euthanasia agenda is a culture-changing issue that will–if it succeeds–radically and adversely transform the way we interrelate as members of society and as family members. And when you read about murder/suicides motivated by the “burden” fear, it really raises the alarm. From the story:
An elderly husband killed his poorly wife then committed suicide because he feared she would outlive him and become a ‘burden’ on their family. When Eileen Martin, 76, developed dementia, her husband of more than 50 years, Kenneth, cared for her at their home. But when he developed cancer he vowed not to leave his sick wife behind for the family to care for. Kenneth Martin and his wife Eileen. He hanged himself after killing her He warned his children: ‘I won’t leave you with the burden of your mother. When it’s my time to go, it’ll be her time to go.’
The message that it is worse to be a burden than dead is being broadcast and received–and stories like this tragedy, I believe, are a direct consequence. It’s a very scary time to be old, disabled, or needing care.
November 20th, 2009 | 4:35 pm
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November 20th, 2009 | 6:42 pm
So very sad indeed that some seniors are starting to think that they are becoming a burden on their loved one
November 21st, 2009 | 9:53 am
The sad thing is that all of us are or were heavy burdens. One only need ask ones parents to know…. But the key difference of course is that most parents see their burden as a joy. And for those special parents, when the burden is heavier, the joy is stronger still:
http://www.firstthings.com/article/2008/10/001-babies-perfect-and-imperfect-23
Unfortunately, or society has become too soft, rejecting the Jewish proverb “I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.” in favour of “I ask not for broader shoulders, but freedom from burdens”.
November 21st, 2009 | 10:53 am
Ronald Devins: I agree, but the word now has such a bad connotation I think we need to find a different way of saying it. The problem is that too many of us think there should never be difficulties, particularly of the long term kind, that inhibit our freedom of actions.
November 21st, 2009 | 11:30 am
This sad story struck home to me. My 91 year old mother has dementia and my father has cared for her at home with my help and my son’s help. My father was diagnosed with cancer on 10/19/09 and died on 11/7. My children, grandchildren and I will honor his memory by caring for his wife, our mother, as he taught us by his loving example.
November 22nd, 2009 | 4:07 pm
Blogging this myself. What a horrible story.
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