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The Poor’s Good Marriages

In a recent opinion column in The New York Times , Wharton School economist Justin Wolfers noted an important fact in marriage trends—then delivered an analysis more instructive on how to exacerbate the problem than how to solve it. The important fact is that while recent news reports of declining marriage rates among young people 25 to 34 have focused on the recession as an explanation, marriage rates over the past thirty years have been declining, through boom and bust alike, especially among less-educated Americans. Combine that with the fact that less-educated Americans are now more likely to divorce than better-educated Americans, and you have a yawning marriage gap between the college-educated and the non-college-educated.

What contributed to this shift? Wolfers suggests we now have a new marriage model, the “hedonic” model. In contrast to earlier marriages based on “the economic benefits of playing specialized roles,” the new model is based on “shared passions”—or as Wolfers put it in an accompanying Freakonomics blog, on “consumption complementarities.”

This model privileges better-educated Americans, he suggests, because the success of marriage today depends on couples who share the same tastes “in books, hobbies, travel and so on.” Women with less education, he explains, “likely have the least to gain from modern hedonic marriage” because they have the least capacity for consumption.

Should the decline of marriage among the less-educated concern us? In a 2008 essay for the libertarian Cato Institute, co-authored with his significant other, economist Betsey Stevenson, Wolfers downplays the importance of marriage for less-educated women. “The decline in marriage among less-educated women would be an important concern if we were still in the world where women needed a husband for financial security,” they argue. But today,


Less educated women have their own market opportunities available to them and have less to gain from marrying today than in the past. The new hedonic model of marriage thrives when households have the time and resources to enjoy their lives. This suggests that increasing the financial stability of these households will lead to marriage rather than marriage leading to financial stability.

In other words, less-educated women are punting marriage because they have no reason to get married—and they have no reason to get married because they lack the adequate time and resources to enjoy the hedonic marriage. In the hedonic model, the only people who get married are the people who can afford to consume lavishly. Marriage is imagined as another luxury that only the wealthiest can enjoy. Marriage is of little use to the less educated.

The implication is that if policymakers would only provide the less educated with jobs and money, they could attain what the 30 percent of Americans who are college-educated get to enjoy because of their status. If only the less educated could have more stuff, we could close the marriage gap between the better educated and the less educated.

No doubt it would help if more less educated men had access to steady work. But Wolfers’ assumption that because the less educated have fewer resources they have no reason to get married betrays a thoroughgoing economistic view of the history of marriage—and more deeply of the human person.

His interpretation of the “facts” assumes an impoverished anthropology that treats man as little more than a self-interested animal who vigilantly performs a cost/benefit analysis for every decision in life, including when and whom he should marry. In his view, the only reason for marriage is economic. His reductionist anthropology cannot imagine marriage as a genuine gift of self that is oriented toward the procreation of new life.

And for that reason, he fails to imagine children. (Yes, those little people. They still exist.) While there surely is an economic dimension to marriage, marriage historically has primarily been about bringing children and parents together.

So we invented the vacuum cleaner—did children then stop needing a mother and father? Sure, women have access to the Pill and work in the marketplace—does that mean the children men and women keep creating suddenly lost the need for married parents? Even if we no longer need our children to be hired hands, women are still bearing children.

Indeed, if marriage is not simply another economic institution determined by the laws of the market, but a fundamental human institution that corresponds to our nature as self-giving and procreating persons, marriage remains a vital institution for all people, whatever their income and economic interests. Marriage meets universal human longings and needs: namely, the longing to give a complete gift of self to another, and thus to procreate, and the need to connect children to their parents. As long as there are humans, these reasons for marriage will endure.

Still, Wolfers may be on to something when he notes that, today, the people with the greatest ability to enjoy the goods of the consumer economy enjoy the most stable marriages. Let’s assume he’s right—at the least, we know that the upper and middle class are more likely to eventually get married and to enjoy stable marriages. But how did we get to this point? How did we go from a society in which marriage thrived among people of all classes, to what Kay Hymowitz calls a “marriage caste”?

While economic explanations abound, less appreciated is how now-demolished traditional norms helped to maintain marriage as a broadly democratic institution. Traditionally, marriage was governed by norms that aimed to help all people, regardless of class, to attain a thriving family life—which resulted in a more equitable society.

Take the norm of lifelong marriage. A society in which married couples are expected to be faithful to their marital vows “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health” is a society that assumes all people, regardless of class, can experience marriage as a “school of love”—no matter what economic hardships may confront them. Indeed, the norm sustains husbands and wives through economically hard times and if the two endure, helps them to see that happiness does not consist in possessions alone, but in living a morally excellent life.

Or consider the norm of bearing children only within marriage. Society says, “Trust us: even though every instinct in your body right now is telling you how wonderful it would be to be a mother and that your boyfriend will be a loving, committed father—trust us when we say that marriage is the institution designed to bind parents to their children.” The norm is meant to protect people—especially women and children—from the fickleness of human nature and to ensure that children have a mother and father. The norm of chastity (now a taboo) does the same.

What happens when society discards those norms? Marriage becomes about the survival of the most resourced. Consider the acceptance of permissive divorce. If the social expectation is that marriage lasts only so long as one is subjectively happy, only the most subjectively happy enjoy stable marriages. Who tends to be the most subjectively happy? It surely helps if the couple makes over $75,000, has the luxury of spending week-long vacations at the beach, and can travel to their favorite destinations.

But even then, the acceptance of children outside of marriage comes with a caveat: in this case, the most resourced assure everyone else that all family forms are valid, children are resilient, and can thrive just as well in single-parent families as in married families—and then turn around and admonish their children that they should never, never have children outside of marriage.

Meanwhile ordinary women take their cues from the culture and bear children outside of marriage—and then, single and thirty, lament that they can’t find a man willing to be a father to the children from their previous partners. As W. Bradford Wilcox has pointed out, statistics show that whereas more than fifty percent of non-college-educated women have had a child outside of marriage, only seven percent of college-educated women have. And having a child outside marriage has all sorts of pernicious effects. Again, it’s the folks farther down on the class ladder taking the brunt of the cultural assault against traditional norms.

Contra Wolfers, less-educated people would powerfully benefit from a society-wide reinvigoration of the norm that upholds lifelong marriage and that connects children with marriage—after all, they have been the most vulnerable to the loss of these traditional norms. A proposal for these norms is a proposal for a more equitable society.

David Lapp is a research associate at the Institute for American Values. A recent graduate of The King’s College, he and his wife, Amber, are co-investigators of the “Love and Marriage in Middle America” project, a qualitative study based on 100 interviews with young people about their views on relationships and marriage. They blog at FamilyScholars.org.

RESOURCES

Justin Wolfers’s New York Times opinion column, How Marriage Survives.
The New York Times’ report on marriage trends, Saying No to ‘I Do,’ With the Economy in Mind
Justin Wolfers’ “Freakonomics” blog, What Is Going On With Marriage?.
Justin Wolfers and Betsey Stevenson’s Marriage and the Market.
W. Bradford Wilcox’s The Evolution of Divorce.
Richard John Neuhaus’s The Future of Sex and Marriage.
Ryan T. Anderson’s Marriage and the Public Good.

Comments:

10.28.2010 | 11:41am
EMBG says:
Yes, but the college educated women - many of them - have had abortions outside of marriage. And these will continue to affect their lives and marriages. Wilcox doesn't seem to be considering this in his study.

I think there is some truth to the idea that marriage thrives among the upper classes, at least the outward from of it. But I don't know that this is peculiar to our society. Marriages in name only existed among the upper classes since ancient times. These formal or political marriages often were not a "school of love" or "meeting universal human longings". Meanwhile, the lower classes had sexual non-marital relationships since ancient times and marriages which also were not characterized by love or meeting universal human longings, perhaps being more like slavery. The concern today is that fictitious marriages aren't as prevalent, especially among the lower classes, and that this contributes to the break down of society. Yes, there is some truth to that and it isn't a good thing. But the marriages that do exist and do last are more likely to be authentic and that is a social good. Perhaps we should be thinking about what we can do to prepare people for more authentic, relational marriages. Obviously a ceremony or marriage certificate does not a marriage make... so what does make a marriage?
10.28.2010 | 11:51am
Artaban says:
In all the vitriol concerning the "rich getting richer while the poor grow poorer", is it not ironic that so few have made the connection between divorce and poverty? Divorce is perhaps one of the greatest wealth destroyers in our country, yet no one ever mentions that in these discussions.
10.28.2010 | 12:00pm
jason taylor says:
They were not marriages in name only, EMBG they were marriages. And it is not obvious that a ceremony or marriage certificate does not a marriage make because that is exactly what makes a marriage. The ceremony is two people's word of honor. When one makes a promise one keeps it.
10.28.2010 | 12:51pm
Fred says:
The author is probably right that the change in norms is at the root of the problem. Unfortunately, though, that ship has sailed; the genii is out of the bottle. Dr. Frankenstein to the contrary notwithstanding, you can't re-animate a corpse. Where does that leave us? Probably, inevitably, eventually a herd of Last Men lorded over by self-proclaimed Ubermenschen. I'd like to believe there's hope, but when I look around me, it's kind of hard.
10.28.2010 | 2:59pm
Statistically, the likely proxies for hedonic marriage have far less than two children per couple (1.1 and 1.4 for the two I'm thinking of). Which may be why those small persons aren't figuring into the calculations of those making the pronouncements about what makes the new upper-class marriages stable.

Fred, I was lucky. I was a paranoid Jesus Freak in the 70's who saw the society as post-Christian with little that could be done about that. I raised my children not with an eye to an imagined recent glory of Christian culture, but against an expectation of lifelong minority status, with an outside chance of serious persecution at some point in their lives - Just as most Christians have lived for 20 Centuries. (Please do not anyone launch into their idea that we are under persecution now. My 3rd & 4th children come from a Baptist orphanage in Romania, so I've got a pretty high bar on that label.)
10.28.2010 | 3:14pm
AVI writes:
"Fred, I was lucky. I was a paranoid Jesus Freak in the 70's who saw the society as post-Christian with little that could be done about that. I raised my children not with an eye to an imagined recent glory of Christian culture, but against an expectation of lifelong minority status, with an outside chance of serious persecution at some point in their lives - Just as most Christians have lived for 20 Centuries. (Please do not anyone launch into their idea that we are under persecution now. My 3rd & 4th children come from a Baptist orphanage in Romania, so I've got a pretty high bar on that label.) "

Untrue. Actually, most christians during the past 16 centuries have not been in a minority in their home countries, even after the Reformation. Now, though, that people define themselves with such peculiar and limiting denominational titles as "Jesus freaks," they may well be so particularistic about the definition of Christendom that they see themselves as part of a minority. In this country though christians clearly constitute a majority of the population (about 78% of the population) so long as an inclusive definition of "christians" is used.
10.28.2010 | 4:50pm
TeaPot562 says:
Lack of chastity among young adults - even down to ages 14-15 - leads many to the state of "single mother"; and becoming a single mother is a sure guide to the trail of relative poverty. No matter the economic class of the family to which the "single mother" belonged before becoming sexually active w/o benefit of marriage and clergy, her economic class as a single mother inevitably (with very few exceptions - See J.K. Rowling) is poorer than the family in which she grew up.
Also, the men leading a young female down this path bear a responsibility that our culture has largely ignored. The guy walks away and the girl suffers. These matters will arise when one faces Judgment at the moment of death. God is merciful; but he is also just. Forget this at your peril.
TeaPot562
10.28.2010 | 11:19pm
DMKF says:
I find the essay confused in its presentation and phrasing; when visiting the "blog" linked at the bottom of the essay, I felt further confusion. It seems both the essay & the blog give a simplistic approach to what is a central issue in our culture/society -- not simplistic in the main thrust of the argument (if one can say there is a coherent "argument" or case which is made). But simplistic in its phraseology, its presentation, its wording and rhetoric. Has First things been reduced to accepting essays from incompetent writers and thinkers?
10.28.2010 | 11:24pm
GABRIEL says:
Mercy for ones sins is something you can pray for while you are still alive. Afterwards..

Well, as TeaPot562 put it; Forget it at your own peril.
10.29.2010 | 3:06am
David, I remember fondly your WSJ article on young marriage written early this year. I hope you are well. It's nice to see you writing for FT.

I see a deterioration in traditional values as the main problem, rather than economics or evolutionary psychology. We have free will, but by choosing to relinquish the Pearl of Great Price, we give ourselves over to the forces that rule animal and automaton alike. True Christians are few and far between. Most may call themselves that, but they are really pantheists: God is only one of the many gods (money, dope, Gaia, sex and baseball—especially here in San Francisco), to name a few, that they worship. As our "culture" has degenerated, and the vast majority utterly ignore the wisdom of the ages, we reap the fruits of our folly. People seem incapable of seeing how we only hurt ourselves when we ignore God's kind law, choosing instead to obey the wicked falsehoods (which come originally from the Father of Deceit) of Hollywood and Madison Avenue.

The false "freedom" of unshackled youth leads inevitably most of its adherents to dissatisfied middle age, miserable old age and fewer, less cared-for children. And so the foundation of our society's future, built of the uncatechized, uncultured many, is laid. I pray regularly that my young girls will find young men raised by loving parents (who are even now diligently keeping them away from TV and unfiltered internet, and the the pernicious influence of TV/internet-educated peers).

The family is the foundation of society. And few treasures match that found in a committed marriage, one where the vows are taken seriously and each spouse gives himself/herself entirely to the other. This holds, as you say, whether we are materially well off or not.

Godspeed,
10.29.2010 | 8:02pm
R. Gordon says:
"The false "freedom" of unshackled youth" - therein lies the real problem: Youth living at home with no responsibility other than study and work/income; parents not handing their children responsibility for their adult life. (Because youth now is rated as 18-35.)

And then when they eventually move out and get married in their 30s and have their own children they lament the lack of "leisure" time they had when they lived with their parents and were free from the costs and labour of family/adult life.

Or they are aware of what they will have to give up and dare not to venture there.

And I'm talking about good holy God-fearing people. It's just been made too easy/indulgent for them.
10.30.2010 | 9:03am
Jon says:
Marriage is better defined in a post-modernist Christian nation by how the law treats its transgressions than on how professed Christians in this era define the institution or wish it to be. Mr. Law wrote: "All the passages of Scripture that show the world as contrary to Christianity, and that require our separation from it as much as from the mammon of unrighteousness, are to be taken in the same strict sense in relation to the present world. For the change that the world has undergone has only altered its methods, but has not lessened its power of destroying religion." Undermining the institution of marriage in law is attacking religion and a society. Professed Christians ignoring the truth of the law are wishing for a different outcome, and wallowing in therapy. The institution of marriage needs protection, then, lets have a discussion in turning around and walking toward the light of Christ.

To discuss marriage in right context, it is imperative to right discernment to discuss the law's treatment of marriage in its transgressions. If it is possible, in this era, for professed Christians to grasp God's right order for the institution of family, in contrast to the civil government's maltreatment of it, then it would be possible to begin a discussion on the devolution of society this present world is inflicting on itself.

But I'm inclined to agree with Mr. Law, when he wrote: "No one could be content with living his life contrary to the Gospel unless he lived it by looking at the ways of the professed Christian world. In the same way, no one would be persuaded by the Gospel of the necessity of great self-denial, humility, and poverty of spirit if they looked to the authority of thw world, which has banished this doctrine of the cross. There is nothing, therefore, that a true Christian should bge more suspicious of, and more constantly guard against, than the authority of the professed Christian world."

Nothing could be more poignant and accurate then describing the professed Christian world, particularly those with titles and letters of theology, who have so forgotten right understanding of marriage and the institution of family government marriage it forms. When certain inalienable rights are without state protection in the institution of marriage, an institution that is not a creature of the state and whose very design, purpose and creation is self-evident of a Creator and his created order, then discussions about the decline of the institution and what Christianity can provide are useless.

The institution of family is not under attack, its merely without protection. Legal positivism is the cancer cells of the malignant and deadly disease of secular humanism. The humanist believes that laws can be written to correct every conceivable ill in society. Serpent worship is the belief that the institution of family God created could be perfected in law. Removing a specific status of the parent-child relationship, by writing law to characterize that relationship as akin to state designated custodian, destroys an institution built on the souls of two sinners of the apposite sex.

Marriage without state protection becomes an institution, already harmed by the true nature of its participants, and because of this, family is seriously wounded. This is the recipe of societal self-annihilation.
11.3.2010 | 1:38am
burnett says:
"less-educated people would powerfully benefit from a society-wide reinvigoration of the norm that upholds lifelong marriage and that connects children with marriage".

and tell me, exactly *how* do you propose to "invigorate" that norm?

mind you, an ounce of crop is worth a ton of theory. I want to know *how*!
11.12.2010 | 2:21am
Edmond says:
Mr. Burnett, we already know the "how" and that is not the problem really. Not on
theory but on eye witness experiences from growing up during the early '60s in all its hilarious but very stupid sexual revolution. We saw the families, schools and the
mainstream church incapable of dealing with this "cultural recession" which in
less thana year obliterated family values into "doin' your own thing". The how is to reverse that selfish attitude. Again that is not the problem! The problem is political will. Pot is now legal in some states because of its "medicinal value". Political will got this done, for shame! So much liberalism which really is just a means and an excuse to
self-gratification.
There is no more moral discipline only the mantra of self indulgence. You don't need a college degree to stop sleeping around....You should've been taught that in
grade school!
11.15.2010 | 12:35am
Lumnicence says:
I don't think marriage is being assaulted, but rather it finds itself collateral damage in a broader cultural war being waged, not necessarily on Christianity, but on social norms in general. There is a very large disconnect among youthful populations between the nature of sex and the reality of babies, due in large part to the readily available access to birth conrol (in various forms), and their purportedly high effective rate, only serves to broaden the disconnect more.
Once that bridge was crossed, I don't think there is any going back. Sex became the norm, rather than waiting, most dove in. Most still dive in. The very idea of marrying someone with whom you have never slept with becomes even scarier than the idea of never getting married at all. Of course, those who have had sex, or enough experience with sex, come to understand two BIG problems with those lines of thought.

1. Sex is better in love and there's no higher love than marriage(save God's).
2. Sex between people gets better the longer they know each other and keep trying things out.

The problem Christianity and marriage faces is not that sex is too readily available in the media, but rather that sex is NOT talked about where it should be... in the home, in the church, and from people who can actually tell the truth about it. Sex isn't evil, and isn't even the problem. Sex is God's reward for doing exactly as He commands. The problem is the silence. And that's *how*!
12.2.2010 | 10:47am
theory but on eye witness experiences from growing up during the early '60s in all its hilarious but very stupid sexual revolution. We saw the families, schools and the The false "freedom" of unshackled youth leads inevitably most of its adherents to dissatisfied middle age, miserable old age and fewer, less cared-for children. And so the foundation of our society's future, built of the uncatechized, uncultured many, is laid. I pray regularly that my young girls will find young men raised by loving parents (who are even now diligently keeping them away from TV and unfiltered internet, and the the pernicious influence of TV/internet-educated peers).
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