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David Bentley Hart

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Farewell to a Mountain

For two years, we have lived in a forest on the convergent lower slopes of two mountain ranges, and above a shallow wooded ravine that descends to a narrow streambed on our side and rises up on the opposite side towards the high ridge that looms above our treetops to the west. During our time here, that mountain has been a commanding and magnificent presence for us, seeming at times almost impossibly near at hand, at other times forbiddingly remote, but always silently, sublimely watchful.



Nearly every morning, no matter the season, it is mantled in clouds, sometimes so heavily that it disappears altogether behind opaque walls of pearl-gray mist.

And nearly every evening, as the sun descends below its ridgeline, the whole mountain is briefly crowned in purple and pale gold, and the southwest horizon, where the ridge descends, is transformed into a gulf of amethyst, rose, and orange.

When the darkness falls, moreover, there is none of the dull rufous pall that the glare of city lights casts up to hide the stars in heavily populated areas.



On clear nights, the sky becomes a deep crystal blue for perhaps half an hour—and then the sky becomes an ocean of stars.

Here in our shady submontane seclusion, cool breezes constantly blow down from the peaks above, and through the southern pass, even during the hottest months of summer. The soughing of the trees rises and falls as the gusts strengthen or weaken, but never wholly abates, and the sunlight—reaching us through the filtering leaves—incessantly flickers and undulates around our house. The birds are so numerous and various that their songs blend inextricably together, and only occasionally can one momentarily recognize a particular phrase—a goldfinch, say, or a cardinal—before it merges back into the larger polyphony. Then only the short, sharp staccato of the woodpeckers is immediately recognizable.

Just now, however, the more dominant music here is the oddly sweet mixed chorus of the woodland frogs, especially at night, but throughout the day as well. The rain this spring, here as in much of the country, has been heavy and regular, and so the ditches are full to overflowing, and gleam like silver when viewed at an oblique slant. The smaller depressions at their edges, also full of water, catch the reflections of overhanging leaves, and the green mingles with the gray of their silt in such a way that they often look like pools of jade. When one comes nearer, however, all the standing water is quite clear and filled with small black tadpoles. Next year’s frog choruses will be louder.

Life abounds under the brow of the mountain. All the woodland creatures one would expect, great and small, are here—deer and black bears, glistening black snakes and tawny foxes, Ruby-Throated Hummingbirds and owls and Blue-Tailed Skinks, and so on. The butterflies at the moment are becoming quite plentiful; there are Black Swallowtails, Zebra Swallowtails, Tiger Swallowtails, but also Red Admirals, and Painted Ladies, and a host of others. And azure and emerald and opalescent beetles and flies are now appearing as well.



(That photograph, I should note, was taken not by me, but by my wife.)

The mountain ridge can be reached by foot, if one is willing to make the effort. The best passage to the top lies northwest of our house, and one must follow it first down into the ravine, into its green depths, through the shadows of its deciduous trees and immense Loblolly Pines, over carpets of moss and ferns and creeping juniper, and across the narrow stream that just now is coursing quite vigorously. The best path—not the easiest, but the most idyllic—lies across a small waterfall created by a thick tangle of oak and Asian Tulip roots over a minor subsidence in the soil. Mountain laurel is extremely plentiful in the ravine, and at present is in full blossom. Bronze and golden box turtles lurk in the shade and by the water.

The ascending slope from there is quite gentle at first, and only becomes an arduous climb at a few places. In all, it takes only about two hours to reach the ridge if one keeps moving. If one sets out well before dawn, and arrives at the top in time to see the sunrise, one will find oneself walking as much in the clouds as through the trees, and there is a brief period (twenty minutes or so) when the sunlight first reaches the ridge, at a sharply lateral angle, and one is all at once passing through shifting veils of translucent gold. Unfortunately, it is an effect that no photograph can capture: invariably, it is not only the rich aurous lambency of the scene that is lost, but the impression of depths within depths, layer upon layer.

In any event, I can do none of this any justice. To describe the place with anything like the detail or lyricism it merits would be a long, and perhaps interminable, task. I have relied on pictures simply because I do not quite have the words right now. In a week, we will be gone. Family responsibilities necessitate our moving to a larger house—one very pleasantly set in a grove of tall tress, but not watched over by our mountain. I simply feel as if it has been a rare privilege to live here for the time we have had, and that I ought to pay some tribute to the place before leaving, out of some sense of honor or natural piety.



So one last photograph. I actually took it soon after our arrival here, as my son (age ten at the time) was watching the sunset for the first time from our porch, over the small open glade to our southwest. But at the moment it seems to capture something for me, a mood at once of delighted wonder and deep sadness. It comes as close as I can at present to expressing the farewell that I want to wish this house and that mountain. It is a melancholy with which I suspect we are all familiar at some level, as individuals and as a race, something that haunts us and of which my sadness is only a fragmentary reminder—the feeling of having lost paradise.


David Bentley Hart is contributing editor of First Things. His most recent book is Atheist Delusions: The Christian Revolution and Its Fashionable Enemies (Yale University Press). His other “On the Square” articles can be found here.

Comments:

5.20.2011 | 1:44am
gutterhelmet says:
that place looks beautiful. It must be an amazing experience living there.
5.20.2011 | 7:24am
Kevin Jensen says:
Must be a really nice place to live, it sounds a bit similar to the place of the late author of the famous book "Ring of Bright Water", which was also made into a successful film. Gavin Maxwell who moved from London to the scenic parts of the North West Scotland with Mijbil his otter.
5.20.2011 | 7:33am
Ars Artium says:
"It is a melancholy ... something that haunts us."

An image comes to mind: The face of Pope John Paul II, after listening to "Ave Maria" sung by Luciano Pavarotti.
5.20.2011 | 8:01am
Wonderful photograph. I agree that it evokes both wonder and sadness. I am sorry you have to leave this beautiful place, but I hope life in your new home is good.
5.20.2011 | 8:48am
Gaskets says:
You've been living in heaven. All the scenery is amazing and beautiful. Most of all, the environment no noise, pollution and full of nature. You must be keeping your camera busy for some scenery.
5.20.2011 | 9:22am
TBH says:
There is almost a Nabakovian attention to detail that is rather intoxicating to read.
5.20.2011 | 9:26am
A.M says:
May every trace of beauty that we come across, in good prose , in the nature around us , in human character , lead us to The Author of all that beauty ..who ever whispers and invites , to focus on Him and waht He has prepared - 'what eye has not seen, ear has not heard ..'

He , who want us to hand over that pain of what has been lost ..in a world where milliions have lost their homes , literally or figuratively , such as in the case of the unborn ..wanting us to recieve His strenght and love and His presence to come in .

He , who too has been displaced from millions of hearts ..

He , who waits for the visits of His children , in the tabernacles , to bring Him our trust , that He is far greater than all our longings ..all our wants !

Come , Lord Jesus !
5.20.2011 | 9:56am
It's a kind and gentle piece, a pious american ode to unspoiled nature, but it is wallpaper in an unfurnished room. Where are the people who watch the play of light, feel the breeze and listen to the birds? Where is the crackling fire, drawing once-beautiful trees to participate in the higher dignity of warmth in hearth and home?
5.20.2011 | 10:47am
Dale says:
It is written "Thou shalt not covet."

Time for another trip to confession!
5.20.2011 | 12:10pm
Ulysses says:
Living in this place that for me seems to be a 'paradise' is very rare... Although you must leave your place, you're still lucky because you saw and experienced one of the beautiful creations of God.

“There are things in life that we never want to let go of, like places that we never want to leave behind. But we have to keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world, it is just the start of a new life.”
5.20.2011 | 12:37pm
Robert Homan says:
I as up late last night and remembering that it was Friday clicked hurriedly onto First Things.... Hart columns are worth staying up for.

"But at the moment it seems to capture something for me, a mood at once of delighted wonder and deep sadness. It comes as close as I can at present to expressing the farewell that I want to wish this house and that mountain. It is a melancholy with which I suspect we are all familiar at some level, as individuals and as a race, something that haunts us and of which my sadness is only a fragmentary reminder—the feeling of having lost paradise."

Gorgeous.
5.20.2011 | 3:24pm
Brent says:
"I simply feel as if it has been a rare privilege to live here for the time we have had, and that I ought to pay some tribute to the place before leaving, out of some sense of honor or natural piety."

Spoken as only a true romantic could. Even though it boarders on delusion. The impermanent should never be eulogized. Enjoy it for the moment, and then let go.

"It comes as close as I can at present to expressing the farewell that I want to wish this house and that mountain. It is a melancholy with which I suspect we are all familiar at some level, . . . of which my sadness is only a fragmentary reminder—the feeling of having lost paradise."

Reminds one of another speaker who once uttered these brave words: "Avoid attachment to both what is pleasant and what is unpleasant. Losing the pleasant causes grief, dwelling on the unpleasant also causes grief. . . . Clinging to what is dear brings sorrow. Clinging to what is dear brings fear. To one who is entirely free from endearment there is no sorrow or fear."
5.20.2011 | 3:26pm
Wisbih says:
I know exactly what you mean. I used to live near Wulai in Taiwan in a small mountain village next to the river. In the rainy season the low hanging clouds made it look like we were living (in) a Chinese painting. Miss the sound of the cicadas as well.
5.20.2011 | 9:56pm
Billy Bean says:
To be honest -- I hated The Hobbit, and found Tolkien's exhaustive description of every leaf in the forest extremely tiresome. Dr. Hart, you are a treasure, but it's Friday, I am weary from a hard work week, and slightly (?) inebriated. Loved the pix. Hated the commentary. Actually skipped over a lot of it, so it may have been truly wonderful. But many of us are looking for your social criticism in your inimitable style and formidable depth. Have mercy on the plebes! Relax on your own time!
5.20.2011 | 11:03pm
TXW says:
If I may be presumptive, I think you will always have a sad spot in your heart for that place, more so your kids who are old enough to remember it years from now. I grew up next door to a National Forest. I could walk around in it as a boy, alone or with friends, without worry and with so much wonder. Now I live near fast food and big box stores (speaking of coveting). I do not think if you described leaving a beautiful church that you would be accused of coveting or delusional attachment. Yet on one level a beautiful church and a beautiful mountain should raise our spirits to God. Both reflect God's beauty would there be any doubt it would be sad to leave?
5.21.2011 | 7:29am
Mark VA says:
We desire eternity, which, in this life, we are barred from. Yet the desire stays, and that is perhaps one of the more interesting ironies of our lives in time.

Regarding the color of the western or eastern portion of the sky, immediately after the sunset or before sunrise: some of us call it "Virgin Mary blue". Seen only in close proximity to the unseen Sun, its dark blue is saturated with Sun's light.
5.21.2011 | 8:47am
Tom Hutt says:
Beautiful piece of writing. More a poem than an essay.

And I couldn't disagree with Mr. Bean more - it is exactly this kind of attention to detail, this careful evocation of "mood," that make The Hobbit a great work of literature.
5.21.2011 | 9:08am
Paige says:
Billy Bean,

Why are you bringing up Tolkien? There's nothing here even vaguely Tolkienesque. I can think of a host of other writers this reminds me of, but certainly not JRRT.

Anyway, I loved it. Restrained but lovely. Social criticism is observations on the ephemeral. This touches on the perennial and, indirectly, the eternal.
5.21.2011 | 10:21am
Griffin says:
Parts of the Bible (The Book of Job etc) and many theologies (the Argument From Design etc.) suggest that the majesty and outline of Nature, begin to testify to the nature of God.
5.21.2011 | 11:12am
@ Joe Bissonnette,

Does every short column have to say everything all at once to be complete? If one wants to pay tribute to a place--to the place itself, in itself--does one have to add window-dressing about hearths and happy conversations in order to make that tribute somehow morally acceptable?

@ Billy Bean,

You need to expand your aesthetic horizons, sir. There are more important and precious things in life than the passing pageant of social disfunctions.
5.21.2011 | 11:49am
I actually feel like I have been to this place after having read your description. I sincerely hope you can find as much wonder and excitement at your new residence. Good luck, and thank you for the short getaway to a magical place.
5.21.2011 | 6:41pm
Aimee says:
It's hard to leave a place you love. I've experienced something like what TXW describes, as well, and it was a real period of grief. Best of luck to you and your family.
5.21.2011 | 8:29pm
ouine says:
Even in our Fallenness each of us, we human beings, compromised bearers of the Image of our Father, shine with a stricken beauty that one day will complete and fulfill the yearning of a Creation that is, for now, immersed with us in death and mortality.
5.21.2011 | 10:44pm
Billy Bean says:
@ Paige: Tom seemed to at least empathize with my reference to Tolkien, though he entirely disagreed with my application. I can respect that. I half-suspected that the problem was entirely mine when I commented, but I love the fact that this is still a free country, so I said, "what the hell. I'll tell him what I think." If you don't see it, well, you just don't see it. @Andrew: I love that phrase, "the passing pageant of social disfunctions"! May I please use it to disparage viewpoints I oppose?
5.21.2011 | 11:49pm
Wow, that's just beautiful! I'd love to wake up and see that every morning. It's like a little piece of your own paradise.
5.22.2011 | 4:34am
Joan says:
That place is as beautiful as you described it. I've always wanted to live in a place like that. Peaceful, calm and out of the usual noisy and busy city life. It must be nice to wake up in the morning, greet the sunrise, feel the cool morning breeze in your skin and just appreciate the beauty of the mountain. That place is close to heaven for me.
5.22.2011 | 5:17am
That place looks so amazing! I've always wanted to live somewhere like that, far away from the bright lights of the city.
5.22.2011 | 9:34am
Lee says:
Must be nice to live in the mountains. Nothing can be more peaceful!
5.22.2011 | 1:24pm
John Bragg says:
I'm just fascinated by your description...
Photos of the sunset just excellent!!!
As if you described a paradise!
5.22.2011 | 3:33pm
Wren says:
Getting ready to move from a home in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley, between two mountain ranges, the Blue Ridge and the Allegheny. This essay was a balm for my soul and helped put into words what I am feeling. So beautifully, poignantly, and artistically written. Thank you.
5.22.2011 | 7:53pm
Sheila says:
Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm glad you've been able to love this place, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who can become so attached to a part of God's creation. Someone up there said something like "only a romantic could write such stuff," but I tend to think this is the way we were meant to experience reality.
5.23.2011 | 1:58am
"In a week, we will be gone. Family responsibilities necessitate our moving to a larger house—one very pleasantly set in a grove of tall tress, but not watched over by our mountain. I simply feel as if it has been a rare privilege to live here for the time we have had, and that I ought to pay some tribute to the place before leaving, out of some sense of honor or natural piety."


Why didn't the author add on a few rooms if he felt he was losing his life in paradise? Perhaps he could write a sequel telling us how thankful he is that he lived in a safe and beautiful place, and not in an inner-city slum dodging bullets and worried sick every time his son left for school. Did he teach his son to say prayers of thankgiving, and lecture him on the dangers most children face in their everyday urban lives, especially if they have no father? Or are such matters irrelevant in paradise?

Christians don't find paradise in some pristine spot in nature, but in what the poet William Blake called "the human form divine." Has the author ever been equally inspired by the faces of the poor, or of any human face for that matter?

Someone above implied that this article was the typical drivel of a modern romantic. It's actually worse because the author claims to have some authority as a critic of atheists who reject Christian beliefs. I suspect a few fashionable atheists have a view of nature and humanity more sane and even holy than that represented by the tedious verbiage displayed above. A mountain is a tremendous symbol for anyone attuned to scripture. Yet the closest the author comes to using the mountain and its fauna and flora as more than physical things is to opine about his "sense of honor and natural piety."

I suggest the author spend some time contemplating a mountain of garbage in one of the third world countries, and take note of the dirty hungry creatures closely resembling human beings who actually live on it to find food and clothing and materials for shelter. This might help the author write an even more inspiring description of his lamentable loss of the mountain of paradise where he once dwelt in rapt piety. And may he not suffer too much in his new house in a grove of tall trees!
5.23.2011 | 10:22am
PRH says:
@ John Stockings

It would be hard, I think, to produce a more boorish and demented series of comments than yours. Gosh, I hope you get back on your medication quickly, before you have to drive somewhere. Oh, and check the locks on the windows of your brain; something seems to have slipped in from the nearby swamp. Whatever it is, it seems to have filled you with a weird combination of spite, sanctimony, and alarming irrationality.

It was obviously a lovely two years, and I am glad DBH spoke a few grateful words. It is always a blessing to find oneself in such places, and it would indeed be dishonorable not to praise the place before having to leave.
5.27.2011 | 10:40pm
Paul H. says:
All I can say is, "WOW"! These pictures are absolutely breathtaking, and as I close my eyes, I can see the beautiful birds and wildlife as they go about their business. Thank you so much for sharing these photos, and a glimpse of how beautiful this world is.
5.30.2011 | 11:18am
Bari says:
Good picture, Make me want to live in the wild, away from the hectic city
6.6.2011 | 10:33pm
Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm glad you've been able to love this place, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who can become so attached to a part of God's creation. Someone up there said something like "only a romantic could write such stuff," but I tend to think this is the way we were meant to experience reality. It's hard to leave a place you love. I've experienced something like what TXW describes, as well, and it was a real period of grief. Best of luck to you and your family.
7.1.2011 | 7:35am
Does every short column have to say everything all at once to be complete? If one wants to pay tribute to a place--to the place itself, in itself--does one have to add window-dressing about hearths and happy conversations in order to make that tribute somehow morally acceptable? "In a week, we will be gone. Family responsibilities necessitate our moving to a larger houseone very pleasantly set in a grove of tall tress, but not watched over by our mountain. I simply feel as if it has been a rare privilege to live here for the time we have had, and that I ought to pay some tribute to the place before leaving, out of some sense of honor or natural piety."
8.14.2011 | 7:28am
Marks Brown says:
Love the view of mountain in the fog especially when it evening and light yellow rays of sun try to color the white fog. Amazing thing about mountains and mountain tracks is the calmness and little sound of hidden creatures. Its awesome.
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