The link, "Wine As Strong As Fire," is a talk in which I explore the themes of this article more deeply.

Excellent article, Dan - clear, concise, and faithful to the Church's theological anthropology.

Thank you, Mr. Mattson, for your forthrightness.

Hello, Daniel Mattson,

I think your point of view is right on track and its being expressed is sorely needed today. I would just add a thought to what you said.

Consider John 9:1-3:

As he went along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he should have been born blind?" "Neither he nor his parents sinned," Jesus answered, "he was born blind so that the works of God might be revealed in him."

The man blind from birth was used mightily by God. Consider also Exodus 4:10-12:

Moses said to Yahweh, "Please, my Lord, I have never been eloquent, even since you have spoken to your servant, for I am slow and hesitant of speech." "Who gave a person a mouth?" Yahweh said to him. "Who makes a person dumb or deaf, gives sight or makes blind? Is it not I, Yahweh?" Now go, I shall help you speak and instruct you what to say."

I think it is safe to say that Moses, in spite of his stuttering, was used mightily by God. ;o)

People with disorders of any kind, especially if they unite the suffering from their affliction to the sufferings of Christ, can be used mightily by God, "so that the works of God might be revealed" in them.

I think "gays" becoming instead Roman Catholics, "living with a homosexual inclination and committed to chastity" is a mighty work of God that has the potential to change the course of the history of God's people and of the entire world. Like Moses, their affliction isn't a “gift,” it is a disorder, but through them, as He did through Moses, God gives great gifts to His people. Expect that.

Wittaker Chambers life and work should be recognizes as an heroic overcoming of this problem. Read his letter to his children in WITNESS to see how profound was his analysis of the human condition. He was also one of the great essayist of out time

I like this perspective. It's what I had always believed it to be--a cross to bear.

Clarity. Honesty. Objectivity. Over-load. Where to begin? WOW, thank you! Finally, finally a sober take on the Church's teaching and its practical voluntary application. Thank you for your honesty, courage and your brilliance. Yes brilliance because you have somehow managed to sift through the millions upon millions of obfuscations and misdirections thrown up by the people whose hearts are closed to any interpretation other than their own and come up with a cogent, hopeful, interesting, clear-headed message that appears fully in line with Church teaching and you personal circumstances.

This is the way forward!

PS God bless but a friendly warning about the avalanche of hate that is about the be set upon you. As I am sure you're used to by now you will be called all sorts of ugly names and accused of the most horrible things.
PSS Also want to add that you are probably a remarkable individual to begin with and that not everyone will be able to follow in your foot steps, but I am sure you acknowledge the difference between trying and failing and not trying at all.

Thank you for putting things in such a good perspective. I have never thought of "gay" as having quite the same meaning as "homosexual"; the latter sounds "clinical," and refers to an orientation, while the former goes beyond that and suggests a lifestyle or a sub-culture, one that is at odds with any Biblical understanding of Christianity. One can certainly be a Christian who has homosexual or same-sex tendencies (admittedly, none of the terms sounds quite right), but to me it has always sounded like a contradiction when people refer to themselves as "gay Christians." I laud the author's commitment to chastity.

This is a real gem and certainly the sanest thing I've read on this topic for a long time. God does indeed use our handicaps to advance his kingdom, as many of us know from personal experience. Please know, Daniel, that you are in our prayers, not only of petition, but also of thanksgiving!

Mattson quotes Ratzinger saying, “The success of his mission was not the fruit of great rhetorical art…; the fruitfulness was tied to the suffering, to the communion in the passion with Christ."

I wonder if Pope Ratzinger can eat his own pudding on that point. If you talk to real people, who may or who may not be gay, who live continually “in communion in the Christ’s passion,” then you meet very wounded, negative people, whose presence you can tolerate only so much of.

Mattson further says that gayness is “a deep wound within our persons which we joyfully choose to unite with the Suffering Christ, on behalf of those we love so dearly in the gay community."

This forced juxtaposition of joy and love, coupled with the suffering mentioned in the Ratzinger quote, all sounds VERY hollow.

People who successfully project that mixture of joy, love and suffering must be few; I’ve never met any.

Daniel Mattson's "Wine as Strong as Fire" video comprises some of the most compelling 23 audiovisual minutes I've ever seen, and I urge all readers to click that link as an essential adjunct to this piece. Why did God allow same-sex attraction in his life or in the life of one's loved one? The answer is a thing of beauty.

Remembering that persons with SSA are persons first helps the Church convey the crucial Catholic distinction between person, inclination, and action -- a distinction that is lost in LGBTQ+ ideology and vocabulary. One can have the inclination without the corresponding action or vice versa.

Remembering that persons with SSA are persons first also provides space for those who have consistently striven for chastity; for those who have struggled at times; and for those who have left behind an "out and proud" lifestyle. There is no need for a term like "ex-gay" -- which repeats the mistake of an inclination- or behavior-based identity, rather than a person-centered identity -- and which marginalizes those who've never taken up gay ideology and practice.

Forty years ago, non-Americans in Exodus International disliked the "ex-gay" terminology, but it was popularized there anyway. Especially in the past six years the leadership has tried to step away from it -- but not without first suffering the tragedies of public "ex-ex-gays."

While it has some commonalities with its cultural allies, Courage International is not an "ex-gay" organization -- and decades ago it explicitly rejected the notion of a one-size-fits-all program of "change." It stands with those members who want to pursue forms of healing which may support a decrease in SSA and an increase in OSA; and it also stands with those members who need support for celibacy. (Which way to go depends on a private discernment process guided by a spiritual director; so the same individual may contemplate either outcome or both.) The goal hasn't been to get people married, but rather to pursue holiness and chastity -- in whatever form an individual is called to.

Keeping in mind the needs of the wider Church, there is a contemporary twist to this conversation often neglected by Joshua Gonnerman and his peers who identify as gay or queer but chaste Christians. In "Dan Savage Was Right," Mr Gonnerman observed that "Christian protest to the Uganda bill was half-hearted at best." A major problem in the debate there has been that, in a country with many more Anglicans and Catholics, fundamentalists (bolstered by Muslims) dominated discussion around the proposed legislation.

Our brothers and sisters in Africa are getting the worst of the false dichotomy between the "out and proud" and "isolated and invisible" options. The blurry concept of "gay chaste Christian" obscures the reality of the Catholic third option: the person -- a beloved, precious child of God -- who has SSA. If Westerners who support chastity were to unify with the term "person with same-sex attraction" we could help squelch the kill-the-gays bills and promote a society where people were free to get decent pastoral care.

As usual, the solution is for the Church to become more Catholic in Her vocabulary and practice, not less.

How very sad.

I feel great grief and sadness for you, Daniel.

My heart is aching for you and for what you have allowed religion to turn you into.

I sincerely pray that you find peace and truth in your life.

How very, very heartbreaking.

Compare and contrast with this article:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn22115-why-sally-rides-sexuality-really-matters.html

As we learn from the article, sexuality matters mightily even to physicists. That's how rampant is using it as a defining factor of a human person.

Thank you for this. It is completely sound.

What those who are trying to make "I'm gay, chaste, but my desires are an illuminating gift from God to the world anyway and not a disability in any sense" don't understand it was you state so clearly: there is a theological anthropology at the heart of who we are and what God has revealed that is upended by that notion. Not one of those proponents ever address that.

Daniel,

I meant to convey this in the piece you are responding to, but I was not satisfied with the way it came across, so let me be entirely clear:

I absolutely support your right to not call yourself gay. I go to some lengths to avoid forcing you and yours into terminological conventions that feel untrue to you. I do not regard you as gay, and if someone describes you as such, I will correct them.

I think it is vitally important that people have the space to tell their stories in the language which fits them best; granting them that space is common courtesy, particularly in such an intensely personal question as this one.

All I ask is that the same courtesy be shown to me and mine.

That said, one last point. Of course, we've gone around the merry go round on this beforw (apparently, under more names than I realized), and I'm not particularly interested in doing so again. But for the sake of the readers, I will paste selections from my previous encounter with your Letters to Christopher persona in regards to the part quoted, whch reputedly demonstrates that the Church forbids us from identifying as gay.

Once again, the Latin text:
. . . cum renuit in persona unice considerare rationem “heterosexualem” vel “homosexualem” . . .

For those whose Latin is rusty, a literal rendition:
. . . since she refuses to consider exclusively the account of “heterosexual” or “homosexual” in the person” . . .

The word unice was, unfortunately, dropped from the standard translation.

The full context:
“The human person, made in the image and likeness of God, can hardly be adequately described by a reductionist reference to his or her sexual orientation.”

We begin the paragraph by saying that a person cannot adequately be described by reductionist reference to orientation. This is not a rejection of referring to orientation, but a clarification that it is not sufficient by itself to explain Who I Am.

“Every one living on the face of the earth has personal problems and difficulties, but challenges to growth, strengths, talents and gifts as well.”

We all have struggles and strengths; again, this is not a denial of the category, but an attempt to broaden perspective.

“Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person as a “heterosexual” or a “homosexual” and insists that every person has a fundamental Identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life.”

Hopefully, this helps to show that the missing term unice makes the text fit better in its context. Orientation is not adequate by itself; variety of individual strengths and weaknesses; refuse to regard a person only under the category of “homosexual or heterosexual; fundamental Identity is in God.

I append an additional note I sent to someone else asking about this text:

I think it’s also important to consider history. The identity-political arguments actually originate in the ex-gay movement in Protestant circles, which claimed/claims that someone who struggles with homosexuality must embrace a heterosexual identity; when Catholics started to be influenced by them, they imported the ex-gay rejection of *any* gay identity into the CDF’s rejection of an *absolute* gay identity.

Further, this is 1986, when AIDS has been spreading for several years, and there was a widespread fear of gay men as spreaders of disease (it didn’t occur to many people, apparently, that they had very poor chances of getting it from them! :p). I think what the Vatican is actually doing here is to call wider society to remember that gay people are still people, rather than (as some have used it) to insist that a Christian cannot regard himself as “gay.”"

"My career in the performing arts is not even indirectly caused by my same-sex attraction, but instead because God is the creator of music and beauty."

Wonderful perspective on the talents we have and why we have them. Thank you.

One of the best articles I have ever read on the issue of same sex attraction. It conveys true understanding of a topic that is usually reduced to bumper sticker slogans.

This is a fantastic perspective. I would only add one thing. John said: "It's what I had always believed it to be--a cross to bear." I'm as heterosexual as they come, happily married soon for 25 years, and my sexuality is a cross to bear too! The power of lust is never far away. I remember Malcolm Muggeridge I think it was in an interview with William F. Buckley, I don't remember exactly, when he was asked in his 80s what it was like to no longer have male hormones raging, said it was like getting a gorilla off his back. Gorilla indeed.

Thank you Mr. Mattson for you candor and the pertinence of this piece. I think that if there's one thing we can gain from this discussion, it is that a disability, adversity, or other hardship is not in itself a gift from God. Rather, the gift consists in God's grace that is made manifest in the midst of that hardship. The hardship is the occasion rather than the substance of the gift.

Both "Why I Call Myself A Gay Christian by Joshua Gonnerman & Why I Don’t Call Myself a Gay Christian by Daniel Mattson; are both legitimante and important appraoches to an authentic Catholic identity lived with grace in Christ.

Each approach has it's pro's & con's in witnessing Christ in society, evangelizing others, and showing community to others who are homosexual and/or experience such inclinations.

I congradulate each author for bearing courageous witness in and age of polarized and poltically driven sexual identity.

Wow--count me blessed for having read this! Thank you, and may the Lord bless you.

Shout out to Fitzgerald! He gets it!

Mr. Mattson, thank you for your candid and insightful reflections. You most eloquently describe the Roman Catholic position on same-sex attraction, the call to chastity, and the internal struggles a same-sex attracted RC person faces.

The starkness of this struggle is added reason why so many in contemporary culture, whose sociology and psychology are centered on the self (i.e. self-centered), opt out of the RC church. Your writing shows that the choice is actually quite clear. Stay in the RC church and you will continue to struggle. Or you can leave a church which views your attraction as an affliction (and possibly join a church which is more gay-affirming.)

Are you are part of a very small minority of same-sex attracted individuals? Most don't seem to take religious teachings against same-sex attraction seriously nowadays. Reading your essay, I wondered if I was in a time warp and was back in the 1950s.

@ Suffering Non-gay Christian:

You say you've never met any 'People who successfully project that mixture of joy, love and suffering must be few.' Perhaps you might be too wrapped up in your own suffering to notice them?

With regard to subjective vs objective truths, G.K. Chesterton is ever current, and always instructive:

"Suppose we are all standing round a field and looking at a tree in the middle of it. It is perfectly true that we all see it in infinitely different aspects: that is not the point; the point is that we all say it is a tree. Suppose we are all poets... a conservative poet may wish to clip the tree; a revolutionary poet may wish to burn it. An optimist poet may want to make it a Christmas tree and hang candles on it. A pessimist poet may want to hang himself on it. None of these are mad, because they are all talking about the same thing. But there is another man who is talking horribly about something else. There is a monstrous exception to mankind. Why he is so we know not; a new theory says it is heredity; an older theory says it is devils. But in any case, the spirit of it is the spirit that denies, the spirit that really denies realities. This is the man who looks at the tree and...says it is a lamp-post...the difference between us and the maniac is not about how things look or how things ought to look, but about what they self-evidently are."

Dan, this article is great! I could NOT have said it better! Are you aware that your message is precisely what we promote in the Courage Reparational Groups http://couragerc.net/Reparational_Groups.html? This is a ministry of the Courage Apostolate for those who wish to offer their struggle with same sex attraction in union with the Cross. We follow a Marian spirituality in line with call of Fatima to make acts of Reparation for sins against human sexuality. You have put in a few concise words a very deep message, which takes me "ages" to articulate!! I hope you don't mind that I share your article in Courage Reparation Online http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CourageReparationOnline/.

Joshua Gonnerman (writes) - "Shout out to Fitzgerald! He gets it!"

Thank You - As they say, Under Catholic social thought the answer to most questions .. "is not either/or but rather Both/&..."

One is reminded of a passage By Chesterton from his book Orthodoxy.

"Anyone might say, "neither swagger nor grovel" ; and it would have been a limit. But to say, "Here you can swagger and there you can Grovel" - that was an emancipation."

Readers would do well to remeber that the Christian sexual ethic puts certain constraints on all of us concerning sex outside of marriage. It dosent however have any proscriptions on how we identify our desires & how best to discuss are desires in Christian solidarity with humanity.

It is my beleif that a number of apporaches will be neccesary as we attempt to evangelize the world in best dealing with the ravages of the sexual revolution.

An honest man is always in trouble, but a truly honest man always resides in love, as did Stephen, and thus the trouble inflicted, along with a thorn bore in humility, gets one that much closer to Jesus on the Cross (which is where we have to go if we are to accompany him in his Resurrection). What ultimately makes this essay sing is its being grounded in a love that is not separate from truth and beauty, and doesn’t that always come via trouble and a thorn?

I think this hits the nail right on the head,

"I think it is a mistake to view homosexuality as a gift, in and of itself. Those who identify as gay speak of the great gifts that supposedly flow from their homosexuality. But of course, any goods that are supposedly unique to homosexuality are common to man, and all that is good in man is the result of being made in the image and likeness of God."

Amen!

It seems that many of us who struggle with SSA suffer from a type of cognitive dissonance where on the one hand we express the desire to be accepted as normal and "just like everybody else", but on the other hand we have this tendency to want others to recognize and pay attention to our SSA as if it were something that makes us uniquely special.

Like you said, the "The path of evangelization is the cross." And part of embracing the cross, comes the stark realization of our own deficiencies and disordered-ness that aren't celebrated in and for themselves - but rather for the opportunities they provide us to practice virtue and suffering with Christ.

@Fitzgerald "It dosent however have any proscriptions on how we identify our desires & how best to discuss are desires"

Well, the Church is very clear that there is such a thing a sinful desires (desires being specifically defined as actively entertaining thoughts about wanting to perform a sinful action).

With regard to homosexuality, though the inclinations themselves are not sinful (we can't help what you like after all!), it is nevertheless disordered. It's an inclination that is contrary to nature. I find that it's this particular point that a few "gay but chaste Christians" seem bulk at.

Suffering Non-Gay Christian writes: "People who successfully project that mixture of joy, love and suffering must be few; I’ve never met any."

You've probably met people who successfully project that mixture of joy and love. Who are you to know their heart so well to assume they don't suffer? That all suffering is necessarily visible?

Mr. Mattson, I have been waiting for someone to write the article you wrote. It is perfectly stated and beautiful. Thank you so much and God bless you.

"inclination"?
"disability"?
"problem"?
"weakness"?
"deep wound"?

I thank God that He knows me and my heart, His creation.
And thankful for the indepth interpitation that arrives at a courageous conclusion.

"Readers would do well to remember that the Christian sexual ethic puts certain constraints on all of us concerning sex outside of marriage."

With a heterosexual orientation, I, in embracing the church's teaching on human sexuality, have not indulged in sex for 23 years. At one point during a year and a half engagement my fiancé finally decided that she did not want to live a life prescribed by the Catholic Church. Our paring in love was not an easy cross to bear at first, for I do long for union with an other, but in agreeing to carry this cross, automatically it became easier than I could have ever imagined, and the benefits in the joy of relating to others more openly, especially women, has enriched my life beyond all my imaginings after returning to the Church.

It's the Cross: we either join Jesus there, or we turn from him.

George,
I would like to share other benefits from the participation in Courage. A 2009 doctoral dissertation on Courage demonstrated that an increased rate of chastity is negatively correlated with psychopathology: an increased rate of chastity is positively correlated with happiness; the time in Courage is positively correlated with a history of increased religious participation, and extended participation in Courage is positively correlated with chastity.

Harris, S. (2009). Mental health, chastity and religious participation in a population of same-sex attracted men. Doctoral dissertation.

Fitzgerald, you write, "Both 'Why I Call Myself A Gay Christian by Joshua Gonnerman & Why I Don’t Call Myself a Gay Christian by Daniel Mattson; are both legitimate and important approaches to an authentic Catholic identity lived with grace in Christ."

My sense is that Mr. Gonnerman is affirming a gay identity, and that a Christian identity can coalesce with that gay identity, bringing about a Gay Catholic identity (and it is obvious that for that coalescence to be true, there can be no lies, no contravening of Catholic doctrine, in what constitutes a gay identity, that in fact it must harmonize with a Catholic anthropology); whereas Mr. Mattson argues that a gay identity in some fashion is in conflict with a Catholic identity, that there can be no coalescence, and therefore no such thing as a Gay Catholic: "I refuse to use [a gay] label because I desire to be faithful to the theological anthropology of the Church."

It also seems to me that Mr. Mattson is not denying the existence of a gay person, for he respects the fact that persons can freely choose to be anything they want and take on any identity they want. He just makes clear that a gay identity cannot mix with a Catholic identity, that that would be like trying to mix oil and water, which for me implies the inevitability of doctrinal conflict within the Church, adding to the chaos we are now hardly able to defend ourselves against. He is not judging any person who takes on a gay identity. He is just clarifying what a Catholic identity entails for a person with same-sex attraction.

Thank you! I feel the same way about my handicap of having been a promiscuous heterosexual for many years before embracing obedience to Christ and the Church's teachings on the sanctity of sexuality and preserving sexual activity for marriage between a man and a woman. Sin is sin. Any sexual behavior outside of marriage is sinful and I committed tons of it before I met Jesus and began the slow process of getting rid of mortal sin in my life. I suffered the recompense due my errors by getting a host of sexually transmitted diseases, one of which still lives in my body FOREVER and the horrible choice of committing murder on my own baby when I was young and brainwashed by feminism into a lifestyle of sexual immorality. Homosexual BEHAVIOR obtains similar just recompenses for those who PRACTICE it. May God continue to give you the grace to speak the truth and I hope to imitate you in speaking about the areas in my life that I have given over to God through OBEDIENCE.

David,

Here are some of the "wounds" and "weaknesses" that can be resolved and with them same sex attractions.

Several major research studies published in peer reviewed journals of adult and adolescent males with SSA have also demonstrated low self-esteem as being a major conflict in their lives. The first study from the Netherlands of 7,076 adults demonstrated that lesser quality of life in men was predominantly explained by low self-esteem. The authors recommended the importance of finding out how lower sense of self-esteem comes about in homosexual men.(1.)

In a 2010 Israeli study of ninety homosexual and 109 heterosexual men with mean age of 26 and with no significant differences with respect to country of birth, ethnic origin, education level, military service, or participation in psychotherapy, homosexual young adults scored lower on the self-esteem measure and higher on narcissism compared to their heterosexual counterparts.(2.)

A 2011 UK study of 10,000 adolescents was notable for boys with some same-sex experience reporting less self-esteem and more experiences of forced sex.(3.)

1. Sandfort, T.G., et al. (2003) Same-sex sexuality and quality of life: findings from the Netherlands Mental Health Survey and Incidence Study. Arch Sex Behav. 32: 15-22.
2. Rubinstein, G. (2010). Narcissism and Self-Esteem Among Homosexual and Heterosexual Male Students. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 36:24–34.
3. Parkes, A., et. al. (2011). Comparison of teenagers' early same-sex and heterosexual behavior: UK data from the SHARE and RIPPLE studies. Journal of Adolescent Health, 48, 27-35

How many same-sex attracted individuals remain Roman Catholic AND chaste?

I know many who continue to go to Roman Catholic Mass and are in same-sex relationships. One church I attend (in Manhattan) has about a dozen or so who are active parishoners and who are co-habitating and (I assume) sexually active. And no one complains. There's a basic nod,nod,wink,wink attitude about official church doctrine.

I also know a few who have swum the Channel and joined the Episcopal/Anglican church, which has become quite gay-affirmative in its non-African locales.

Theology applied to life. BRAVO. You've inspired me to want to give myself to Christ. My issues are different, but the solution is the same. God bless you.

" My career in the performing arts is not even indirectly caused by my same-sex attraction, but instead because God is the creator of music and beauty."

This is perhaps a logical fallacy. There seems a disproportionate number number of gay men who contribute to the arts; and a disproportionate number of geniuses like Cole Porter or Oscar Wilde (I won't make a long list; but I could) have been homosexual. There may be something going on in the brain/psychology of predominantly homosexually oriented men that either causes or contributes to the outcome. So regardless of God creating music or beauty, the same sex attraction may, in some way, play at the very least an INDIRECT role.

I have long wondered why we consider the sin of homosexuality to be so much worse than other sins such as adultery, for example. We are all sinners and all of us struggle with temptation regarding some sin or other. So why are we particularly hard on gays?

However, I do know of people who were delivered from the stronghold of homosexuality and never felt attracted to someone of the same sex ever again. Therefore, I say to the homosexual/lesbian, do not give up hope! You can be set free from its bondage just as others have been set free from their sin habits of promiscuity, pornography, lying, etc. After all, Christ came to set the captives free, no matter what it is that holds them in captivity.

Rick Fitzgibbons,

With all due respect, and in no way trying to imply any understanding of how Mr. Mattson might respond to your posted data/surveys, what for me is most striking about Mr. Mattson’s piece is his liberation by being a member of the body of Christ. In my life countless therapies did in many ways help me deal with all kinds of childhood traumas and other impediments to actually living a life as opposed to being constantly under assault from it. But only in surrendering to Our Lord’s command to Eucharistically union with him as a member of his body did I begin to live life more abundantly, and this is where I sense Mr. Mattson’s journey resides, in living more deeply the life of Christ as a member of his body. What he is offering to all of us, including those of the gay community, is what Christ offers to every man and woman: life more abundantly, far beyond what any therapeutic method can offer.

jfm,

You write, “I know many who continue to go to Roman Catholic Mass and are in same-sex relationships. One church I attend (in Manhattan) has about a dozen or so who are active parishoners and who are co-habitating and (I assume) sexually active.”

This has never been a problem with me, the same as it is not a problem for me when I see divorced Catholics receiving the Eucharist at Mass. Jesus was clear in stating that he, not us, will separate the wheat from the chaff. What concerns me is when a parishioner in any manner begins extolling his/her wayward principles as Catholic virtues, especially when he proudly models his rebellion by seeking ,positions of authority within the Church, and especially when he in any manner insists that we must begin to accept those principles as our own, and this becomes exceedingly dangerous when a pastor or other church authority begins to sanction this cause, which would certainly call for us to speak up, for we would not be separating wheat from chaff, but correcting false doctrine, something we are required to do as Catholics. As Mr. Mattson implies, whatever Catholic virtues a person with a gay identity expresses can be expressed by any Catholic. There is no virtue peculiar to homosexuality. Again, for me the crux of the problem is that we Catholics don many identities in our lifetimes for various reasons, and the question becomes singular: is any particular identity we don in opposition to our primary identity as Catholics? If no, there is no problem, but if yes a problem indeed exists and puts us at risk spiritually. And for anyone who wants a glimpse into the problem of a gay identity for Catholics, just attend any sex education class in almost any high school in America.

Jon Rowe,

I would like to know what studies have been done that would in any way validate your point that a disproportionate number of gays contribute to the arts. I could see you arguing anecdotally that a disproportionate number of gays enter, for example, the field of cinema art (as well as other artistic fields) and I would respond that makes sense because gays are deprived of participation in the most sought after as well as the ultimate and most difficult art form—the raising of children. For a parent must create a living landscape consisting of multiples dimensions that will enable a child to discover who he/she really is and what their gifts are. And, as we witness daily, there are now gays claiming that they are in touch with this longing to participate in this ultimate art form, and blind themselves in pursuing this longing to the deprivation the child who will suffer if the person with same-sex attraction insists on maintaining a gay identity (persons with same-sex attraction can certainly raise children without distorting the child’s sense of him-herself in the gestalt of who he-she is if the same-sex oriented parent commits to being a member of the body of Christ). And I would also argue that even though there are a disproportionate number of gays involved in cinema art, they are not disproportionately more successful than those who are not gay. Also, isn’t it interesting that none of the gay artists you mentioned in any way tried to affirm what I would call the lies of gay culture; in fact, many of the great gay artists insist on telling the truth about gay culture, as did Oscar Wilde when he wrote his only novel, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, that explored the gay culture’s obsession with youth and how there was something inherently evil in that obsession (he and his “significant other”, Lord Alfred Douglas, didn’t even indulge in sex but instead went after rent-boys to be sexually aligned with youth); Tennessee Williams also had this obsession with youth and would go after rent-boys, and his best work of art, his most honest and most poetic, explores the evil inherent in this obsession in his play, “Suddenly Last Summer”. The great French gay artist, Jean Genet, wrote his greatest novel, “Querelle”, and the greatest German filmmaker of the 20th century, also outspokenly gay, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, did a cinema version, his last film by the same title, and he was viciously criticized by many gay intellectuals. Why? Because he, like Genet, told important truths about the complexity of gay culture. In other words, what makes great artists has nothing to do with what is or isn’t “going on in the brain/psychology of predominantly homosexually oriented men”, but with telling the truth from where one actually resides in life, one’s sexual orientation notwithstanding.

Mary Lou,

To understand the seriousness of a Catholic acting on same-sex attraction, and the even more deeply sinful act of attempting to justify it or idealize it, it is important to understand as best you can the nuptial mystery that has been with Jews and then Christians from the beginning. We (man-woman) cannot begin to know ourselves except as Adam (male and female, i.e., human, revealed in our union, in becoming one, the source of unity as human, the relational reflection for Christians of the image and likeness of the Trinitarian God: man, woman, child). The nuptial mystery alone can take us into a deeper Trinitarian life, which is a required life for all Catholics, for in humans relating sexually a distortion of deeply evil proportions occurs when leading anywhere other than the union of man and woman as the New Adam, the restored unity of man-woman in Christ. Adultery is a radical sin because it destroys that unity, but the justification of the sexual union of a man and man or a woman and woman is an even more radical sin because once justified it robs us of the required knowledge that assists us in becoming the New Adam in Christ: it robs us of our Christian identity (which is always nuptial), who we actually are, with no way home to who we are. In other words, it would rob us of the framework to even recognize the nature of a radical sexual sin. We would no longer be able to live or die, but just float—like zombies. Here I will rely on the words of the great atheist, Nietzsche: "It is not a matter of dialectics, but a matter of degrees."

I would like to hear the evidence from both sides of the issue: Why is homosexuality a wound to the otherwise whole image of God? A battle of "labels" and a finesse of wording really does address the core question: Is homosexuality a "sin?" Is it in some way so different from sexuality generally that it is sinful in itself if practiced? Please do not simply cite scripture for how abhorrent and abominable homosexuality is, for while scripture is indeed the inerrant word of God, it is also truth confirmed by evidence and reason. Please, someone, make the case on the evidence.

Thank you for your courage and your witness!!

I am not Catholic (I'm Jewish) and am heterosexual. But I just wanted to say how deeply moved I was not only by this very special article, but also by the outpouring of considered and thoughtful responses. Catholic theology is very different from Jewish or Protestant theologies, but I think it wisest to assess a religious person's choices within the framework of their own theology. Yours is a position of courage and sacrifice which I am sure G_d must see as holy and sanctified. The software that moderates these comments will not permit me to write the Hebrew words for "holy" & "sanctified", but in Hebrew they are almost identical words, differing by only one vowel and, in Hebrew, to be sanctified means "to be set a part" (thus the Sabbath is sanctified from the rest of the week). The phenomenon of endless non-chastity is really only 50 years old -- since the birth of the Pill created the Sexual Revolution, unleashing all manner of social pathologies. Even watching Downtown Abbey, one is made to reflect that even modern people of all types have lived lives of chastity (bible-believing Christians or Jews working their whole lives in service often did not marry). Thank you for sharing your deeply personal experience in this article. It is humbling and uplifting to read.

Sir, thank you for being man enough, to write openly about your views on homosexuality, without hiding behind over-used arguments. Wounds do get healed and may the Lord bless you with more strength in your struggles, and may your love for HIM mend that brokenness. Godspeed!

I have a friend who describes himself as a "Catholic Anarchist". Of course, he does not and should not have to worry about the Language Police coming after him.
He has the right to invent and embrace any label.

But if I felt the need to qualify my identity as a Catholic with any other distinguishing characteristic (however much it seemed to define my personhood), a fellow member of Mystical Body could legitimately ask me if I was trying to serve two masters.

"Jon Rowe,

"I would like to know what studies have been done that would in any way validate your point that a disproportionate number of gays contribute to the arts."

Gil: I'm not a numbers guy; I don't think any studies have been done. But a statistic is just a collection of anecdotes; and I see the anecdotes as overwhelming.

"And I would also argue that even though there are a disproportionate number of gays involved in cinema art, they are not disproportionately more successful than those who are not gay."

I think this is just false. We have to come up with a baseline for how many homosexuals there are. I use the sexual orientation continuum and conclude about 3-4% of the overall population are from 3 (meaning perfectly bi) to 6 (meaning perfectly homosexual) (I base my assessment on the latest Williams Institute data).

From anecdotal observations we see vastly more than 3-4% of the greatest artists, authors, playwrights, poets, classical music composers and conductors are homosexuals along these grounds. From (probably) Shakespeare to Whitman, to Proust, to T. Williams, to Wilde to Bernstein, Sondheim, Copland and Porter. Ballet, for instance, is one of the highest forms of human artistic achieve (and I say this as someone who is NOT a ballet fan). Gays are more overrepresented there than blacks are in basketball.

As to great gay artists -- great artists in general -- having "problems" -- you'll get no argument from me there. The straight Christian artist Thomas Kinkade, had issues that were not untypical for a brilliant artist to have. It does present a dilemma for me. On the one hand I don't want to suffer, psychologically (as I have) and I don't want people in general to. I'm all about wellness, eliminating -- as much as possible -- negative emotions of anxiety, depression (there are certain of sadnesses that cannot be eliminated in this life because of the nature of inevitable loss; but you can be at peace with such sadness and loss), guilt, and conflict which leads to greater happiness. But I also agree with Nietzsche that a world where more folks lived such lives probably would have much less great art.

Likewise I also concede a lot of great art produced by homosexually oriented men was done under circumstances where the surrounding society was not accepting of homosexuality. A lot of great homoerotic art of say, Da Vinci and Michael Angelo was also great Christian art.

Oh, oh thank you for this! I've often been puzzled as to why people seem to assume that the extra numbers of homosexuals in the arts MUST MEAN that homosexuality tends to bring artistic talent with it as a gift.

Two points as to why the correlation doesn't automatically validate the assumption:

(1) If this is true [that the extra numbers of homosexuals in the arts MUST MEAN that homosexuality tends to bring artistic talent with it as a gift], then it would be just as valid to say heterosexuals with temptations to promiscuity, and alcoholics, and narcissists are all sinners whose sin tends to bring artistic talent with it as a gift. (Because after all, artists are on average more likely to be all of those things non-artists.)

(2) Why assume that homosexuality makes one more likely to have artistic talent, rather than assume that artistic talent makes you more likely to be homosexual, or that some unnamed third quality has a tendency to produce both artistic talent and homosexual inclinations? Maybe there are persuasive arguments that make the common first assumption more plausible than the other two logical possibilities; but I haven't seen any.

Dear Mr. Mattson,
I felt such relief and validation as I read your words. This is truly what I have felt all along, that the way to define people is as children of God, fearfully and wonderfully made. My husband is a performer, and as such we have many friends attracted to the same-sex. It doesn't change the fact that they have gifts and talents to share. Nor does it change the reality that their attractions are crosses to bear, in much the same way as my son's autism is the cross that he and we have to bear. His autism has shut some doors open to others; but it doesn't shut the door on the fact that his life has purpose and meaning. This isn't the life which we strive for; we strive for eternal life. Jesus asked us to pick up our crosses and follow Him. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your reverent acceptance of the catechism and your courage to share your thoughts with others. I'm adding you to my prayer list!

Jon,

Many males with SSA clearly share in the creative gifts of God in the areas of music, art, writing and drama. However, as boys, these males regularly report they lacked eye-hand coordination that resulted in insecure attachment relationships with boys their age and often with their fathers because they could not play baseball, soccer or basketball. The inability to participate in sports, in culture obsessed with it as a major determinate of masculinity, resulted in reports of significant loneliness and weaknesses in masculine identity. Same sex attractions are then described as an attempt to fill an inner loneliness for male acceptance and to strengthen male confidence.

Research studies have demonstrated the benefits of growth in male confidence. Participants in Spitzer’s study were presented with a list of several ways that therapy might have been “very helpful” (apart from change in sexual orientation). Notable were feeling more masculine (males) or more feminine (females) (87%) and developing more intimate nonsexual relations with the same sex (93%).(1.)

Dr. Jay Wade at Fordham University published a 2010 research study that showed the importance of male friendships. In the study men with unwanted SSA experienced healing by developing healthy non-sexual relationships, i.e., friendships, with other men. They also reported a decrease in homosexual feelings and behavior, an increase in heterosexual feelings and behavior, and a positive change in psychological functioning. (2.)

1. Spitzer, R.L. (2003) “Can some gay men and lesbians change their orientation? Archives of Sexual Behavior, 32: p. 412
2. Karten, E. Y., & Wade, J. C. (2010). Sexual orientation change efforts in men: A client perspective. The Journal of Men's Studies, 18, 84-102.

Daniel, Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful, honest and uplifting words with us. I, too, have struggled with SSA. For a very long time, I tried to live in two worlds, a gay woman who would pick and choose which Church teachings to follow. Last year, I had an experience of Christ's True Prescence in the Eucharist during Mass; it was simply a gift of His Peace and His Love. His Holiness was overwhelming to me and this led me back to Confession and to accepting all teachings of the Church. I would not trade the peace and joy I have in belonging to Him for anything else in the world. It is not always easy, but it is most definitely possible to be happy while striving for holiness in your state of life. Peace be with all of you. And Daniel, keep fighting the good fight! Prayers!

TGWWS:

It could be that artistic talent does make one likelier to be homosexual. But how is that different than saying being homosexual makes it likelier to have artistic talent? We are just observing a correlation. Like growing older and hair loss. And indeed it could be a third thing that causes both. Some part of the brain that is more "turned on" that affects both homosexual orientation and artistic talent. Likewise it's possible that if you turn that third thing off, you turn off BOTH the homosexual orientation AND the artistic talent.

Re the other issues, the vast majority of heterosexual men are tempted towards promiscuity; it's just the ones who make it famous -- and it doesn't have to be in art; this is also very common among famous male athletes -- who get the opportunity to act on their promiscuity. Joe Six Pack has to deal with the consenting nature of women, and won't be able to pull off the four figures of lifetime sexual conquests of Mick Jagger or Wilt Chamberlin.

With the alcohol and drugs, I think it's pretty clear that emotional sensitivity and the need to numb pain is part of the picture with a lot of famous artists.

I have just finished reading this brave, beautiful article, and I am sitting here on my sofa with tears streaming down my face. Thank you, Mr.Mattson, for your witness, and may Our Lord Jesus, the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, continue to bless and keep you.

Thank you for such a beautifully worded explanation of chastity and the embracing of Truth while carrying the cross of SSA. I have been attracted to both sexes for most of my life, but have never acted on the SSA. My husband would tell you the same thing about himself. He is the only person IRL that I've ever told about this. We (who choose to live in chastity according to our vocations in life) are sometimes made to feel that our views on this subject do not count. I have seen terms such as "in the closet gay" while some very articulate arguments are dismissed. God bless you, and thank you for reminding all that the temptation itself is not sin. What is important is how we respond to that temptation, and whether our actions glorify God.

Jon Rowe,

I think it's extremely important in cases of correlation to uncover which of the correlates (if either) is the true cause. To take a (hopefully) less controversial example from the public policy world: Homelessness and mental illness are statistical correlates. Unless you know which one (if either) is the cause, you won't be able to attack the problem at its root.

In the case of homosexuality and artistic talent, because we as a society look on artistic talent as a good thing, it is easy for those who assume homosexuality to be a cause of artistic talent to claim that homosexuality is, therefore, a good thing. There are many ways in which a thing can be called "good," but I'm rather wary of any claim that an objective disorder can produce fruits that would not otherwise have been produced. To put that concretely: I suspect that (for example) Cole Porter would have composed just as beautiful music if he had not been a homosexual.

Re the promiscuity: I didn't connect it with homosexuality in my comment, so I'm not quite sure what you're saying ... I was simply using it as one more example of a sinful behavior (like the abuse of alcohol) that is more common among artists than among on-artists.

Yes, there is something in what you say about alcohol and drugs being used to numb the pain of sensitive artists. But I'm not sure you can say that those things are "needed" (note all the sensitive artists who don't abuse these things!), and I'm not sure it's so much the sensitivity per se that needs numbing as it is the suffering. Thus (concretely, for example, again) an artist who is sensitive, but has had a happy childhood, is far less likely to drink or be homosexual than an artist who is equally sensitive, but had a miserable childhood. Who you are is not just about what you're born with, but also about what you experience.

If he wishes to see himself as a victim with a 'cross to bear', 'deep'ly 'wound'ed, good luck to him.

I certainly don't see my being gay as a cross to bear or a deep wound.

Though like everyone else I do have other crosses to bear.

If being a victim makes him happy - God bless him in that.

To each their own.

My capacity for love and loving is no more or less 'disordered' than anyone else's.

God preserve us from sour faced wounded 'gay' cross bearing saints.

To paraphrase the great Teresa of Avila.


M

Rick,

Why are you citing the Spitzer data that he has disavowed?

I do believe that a typical gay man -- not all, certainly there are a great deal of exceptions -- is more feminine than a typical straight man. I do -- like the experts in your field -- reject your explanations. I think the orientation develops, at the very latest in the single digits, probably before 5. And again, the experts in your field also agree.

Re the non-sexual friendships with members of the same sex. A typical gay man has plenty of non-sexual platonic friendships with other gay men.

I also don't buy the lack of coordination. Lack of interest in typical hetero man sports like basketball, baseball, and football? Perhaps (even though there have been notable gay basketball, baseball and football players; gay men do seem underrepresented in these fields). But there is interest and representation (indeed, in some cases over-representation) of gay men in more feminine kinds of sports like swimming, diving, tennis, gymnastics and figure skating. All of these, likewise, take a great deal of coordination. Likewise uncoordinated nerds don't tend to make for good dancers; which is the opposite of the truth with gay men. As noted above, gay men are as overrepresented in ballet as blacks are in basketball. And one has to be extremely athletic and coordinated to do well in ballet.

Amazing Dan! I am humbled and edified by your article. Have you heard about our late Holy Father - JPll Theology of the Body? It is a teaching that he gave in 129 of his Wednesday morning audiences from 1979-1984. The teaching highlights who we are created in the Image and Likeness of God with a specific focus of God, sex and the meaning of life. Christopher West, gives week long seminars on this teaching and having experienced it for myself, I can attest to the fact that it addresses the deepest longings of our hearts and steeps us in the truth of Christ. If you are interested in learning more : christopherwest.com or www.tobinstitute.org

I appreciate this insight into same sex attraction as being the same sort affliction all of us share as sinners of one sort or another. I think it is important, and was the intention of all encyclicals that deal with the topic of same sex attraction, that it is an affliction no different in kind from other tendencies toward sin that we all have. We all carry some sort of deep temptation to a particular sin, whether it is toward stealing, or lying, or adultery, or lust, or addiction or a myriad of others. This article is the kind of message that should be communicated to the greater society so that all can understand we do not condemn or judge those who recognize this sin within themselves. Only then can we honestly deal with the problem and act with compassion toward those suffering with it. But when we are told we must celebrate or acknowledge this problem as a "good," then we as Catholics cannot agree. Thanks for such an honest evaluation of your condition.

Jon, as you are undoubtedly aware, there is a campaign of intense intimidation against all who disagree with the political agenda of the same-sex "marriage" advocates. Dr. Spitzer was deeply harassed for publishing this particular work showing that gays can benefit from attempts to change.
www.mercatornet.com/rticles/view/frail_and_aged_a_giant_apologizes

The study by Dr. Spitzer is not weak and the editor of the journal has refused to withdraw the article. Thus, my citing that study is appropriate and the findings stand, despite Dr.Spitzer's attempts to distance himself from the politically-based criticism.

The lack of secure attachment relationships with male peers in childhood is manifested when asking men who desire to resolve SSA who their best male friend was in elementary school. Most answer that they did not have one.

The Courage program that focuses on the development of chaste male friendships and friendship with the Lord has brought healing to many Catholic men with SSA.

"In the case of homosexuality and artistic talent, because we as a society look on artistic talent as a good thing, it is easy for those who assume homosexuality to be a cause of artistic talent to claim that homosexuality is, therefore, a good thing."

Well, yes. And this is why a lot of you folks are trying to run away from or explain away this observation. I do see artistic talent as a good thing. And I see nothing wrong with homosexuality. The connect of homosexuality with great art, indeed, is one of the "goods" of homosexuality, as far as I'm concerned.

"I suspect that (for example) Cole Porter would have composed just as beautiful music if he had not been a homosexual."

I suspect not.

"Thus (concretely, for example, again) an artist who is sensitive, but has had a happy childhood, is far less likely to drink or be homosexual than an artist who is equally sensitive, but had a miserable childhood. Who you are is not just about what you're born with, but also about what you experience."

You also have to consider bright, emotionally sensitive artistic types, because of that condition, may be likely to view the world in a particular way that makes them more liable to suffer from anxiety or depression regardless of what kind of childhood they had. I think the professional data bears this out. I also think of some really tragic examples of suicides of friends who came from intact middle class families. Miles Davis, admittedly, came from such a family and never had anything in his upbringing that would make him sing the blues and get addicted to drugs.

Articulate and intelligent, this resonated deeply with me as my own story, even though I do not suffer from SSA. We all have some disorders, some weaknesses in our makeup, and it's not til we "get" our nothingness before His Majesty, that we can appreciate the fathomless magnitude of His Love and Mercy. Those who have the illusion of having no weakness or disorder often succumb to pride and remain aloof from God, not recognizing their utter dependence on Him for their very breath, thus missing the tenderness of intimacy with a good and merciful God who loves me even in my sin and weakness.

Might the Holy Spirit continue to work in and through you to bring intelligence and clarity to the debate and some much-needed perspective from one who swims against the tide to culture's catastrophically confused conversation. (Think the Chick Fil-A debacle.)

Is being homosexual a gift?

Certainly it can be!

Honestly, can you look upon Michelangelo's "David", or his painting in the Sistine Chapel, or read some of the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins, without recognizing a distictively gay perspective? They were able to appreciate male beauty and strength as gifts of God, and they forever touched the Church by their contributions. Their work would not have been the same, had they not been homosexual in orientation.

Although I have found Methodism a more exacting variety of Christian faith than Roman Catholicism, I do miss the value the Roman Church places on chastity. Too many Methodists look at chastity as something odd and unnatural despite Paul’s recommendation of it and despite the witness of the centuries.

And so I applaud Mattson for his article as I did Gonnerman. Whether you decide to call yourself gay or not, it is clear that those who are called to chastity are liberated into a special relationship with Christ.

At the same time, it is also clear that there are many gay and lesbian couples who love each other fully and, as Paul described in Ephesians, “submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.” One thing that I have gained from belonging to a Methodist reconciling congregation is the opportunity to worship next to many such couples, who have rejected the lust and hedonism of much contemporary culture to love each other “as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up to her to make her holy.”

@ Martin
"My capacity for love and loving is no more or less 'disordered' than anyone else's".

Unconditional love?

Mary Lou writes:
"I do know of people who were delivered from the stronghold of homosexuality and never felt attracted to someone of the same sex ever again. Therefore, I say to the homosexual/lesbian, do not give up hope! You can be set free from its bondage just as others have been set free from their sin habits of promiscuity, pornography, lying, etc. After all, Christ came to set the captives free, no matter what it is that holds them in captivity."

With respect and reverence, I'd like to highlight a proper understanding of the virtue of hope. Members of Courage (and EnCourage) start with surrendering to God, and they leave the outcome to Him. As much as I value Daniel Mattson's rebuttal to Joshua Gonnerman on the topic of precision in our vocabulary around SSA, I value even more precision in our vocabulary around change and deliverance and homosexuality.

I am the wife of a former gay activist and member of Courage, well-known in Canada, less so in the USA. He's a great gift from God and a wonderful Catholic husband. Please allow me to act as an ambassadress in response to your comment. While you don't state your faith background, Daniel Mattson is writing from a Catholic perspective, as am I and as are many or most in the comboxes.

Contemporary Catholic pastoral care for SSA avoids using "homosexual" as a noun. We must also be clear when proclaiming Holy Scripture such as the list, in 1 Corinthians 6:9, of those unrighteous who will not inherit the kingdom of God -- including "homosexuals." In the Second Catholic RSV translation, one finds an explanatory note attached to the word "homosexuals" when it is used to translate the Greek terms for "effeminate" and "sodomite": "The apostle condemns, not the inherent tendencies as such, but the indulgence of them." In Paul's time, the descriptors he chose were used for those who committed the acts; it wasn't until the later nineteenth and early twentieth centuries that a concept arose of a homosexual person.

In my comment above, I alluded to one of the key elements in contemporary Catholic pastoral care for SSA; now I'll elaborate. In his second-last interview with the National Catholic Register, Courage International executive director Father Paul Check carefully distinguishes between the person, inclination, and action:

"[Q] Explain Courage’s approach to ministering to people with same-sex attraction.

"[A] There’s a distinction we always make among the person, the inclination and the action. The person is always good: a child of God, redeemed in Christ and invited to grace and glory. As for the inclination, the Church teaches that it’s disordered when put alongside our understanding of what it means to live and act in a way consistent with our human nature, in this case, in the realm of human intimacy and love.

"It’s the ultimately procreative power of sexual activity that tells us why the world is divided into two sexes. Therefore, the same-sex inclination is described by the Church as disordered because it’s at variance with that design and order in nature. That inclination takes a person’s deepest aspirations and desires and confuses them by layering on top of them an erotic same-sex attraction. Underneath that layer, however, there is the fullness of human nature to include authentic desires relating to human
intimacy. And although the inclination is disordered, we stress that this is absolutely no basis for a personal moral condemnation.

"But the action — the deliberate choice to engage in homosexual activity — that action is gravely immoral."
http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/courage-continues-mission-of-its-founder-father-harvey/#ixzz229SD2JrB

With this distinction in mind, I would ask you, along with others in the Church, to please be much more prudent, and then much more specific, when speaking of healing to persons with SSA. When you mention homosexuality, are you referring to the inclination or to the action? Just as it is possible to have the action without the inclination, it is possible to have the inclination without the action. It is neither necessary nor typical for those who leave a gay lifestyle -- or who avoid one in the first place -- to "never feel attracted to someone of the same sex again." We also don't have a one-size-fits-all program of change that promises that result. What we have are spiritual and/or psychological programs that aid chaste living.

Our all-powerful God could absolutely deliver people from a same-sex inclination in a way that was linear and total and possibly instantaneous; and if you know people who have had that experience, praise Him. What you're probably describing are miracles that we can't demand from God. Please don't impose those exceptions as a general expectation. For reasons of Divine Providence, since the time of Jesus God has not usually brought about change in the manner of a cure. Certainly, His grace is sufficient for all of us to be free from sin habits like those you list. But avoiding sins against chastity does not normally mean that the person with SSA "never feels attracted to someone of the same sex ever again." Rather, He brings about sanctification when, despite unwanted ongoing SSA -- whether predominant or of at least some degree --
His servants like Daniel Mattson (who is single) or The Sheepcat (who is married) live in chastity and fidelity. To God be the glory!

Catholic theology holds that there is a redemptive meaning to suffering. For a fuller appreciation of this perspective, please do view the author's (23-minute) amazing video linked above, "Wine as Strong as Fire."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPG8HbvKglY

For an application of my comment aimed specifically at those who might interrupt a private discernment process with the expectation that Courage will necessarily lead to opposite-sex attraction (OSA) in its members, please see my blog post on "Clarifying a Catholic Pastoral Approach to SSA."
http://thesheepfold.typepad.com/the_sheepcat/2012/05/clarifying-catholic-pastoral-approach-ssa.html

For an explanation of why -- for those who seek it -- "change" in sexual inclinations is best expected on a continuum rather than in categorical terms, please see the "NARTH Statement on Sexual Orientation Change."
http://narth.com/2012/01/narth-statement-on-sexual-orientation-change/
The most satisfied clients have usually experienced change from predominant SSA to predominant OSA; they (and their spouses, if applicable) will still need to learn how to manage ongoing SSA.

For an explanation of why Courage doesn't oblige its members to pursue extraordinary measures, please see Homosexuality and the Catholic Church: Clear Answers to Difficult Questions, the last book of co-founder Father John Harvey, OSFS. "Early in the history of Courage, some members, impressed by several Protestant groups whose primary objective was to help people recover from their homosexual condition, tried to convince the 1990 Philadelphia Conference that Courage should make the recovery of one's natural heterosexual inclination its sixth goal. The members present at the conference declined to do so, suggesting instead that those desiring to recover from same-sex attraction should seek help from a reliable therapist or from
other groups whose mission is to help other individuals in this regard. It was also requested that the 1991 Conference should focus on the Five Goals of Courage with primary emphasis on the virture of chastity."

For a list of The Five Goals of Courage, the first of which is chastity -- not change -- please see http://couragerc.net/Our_Five_Goals.html.

For a perspective on what a person with SSA can feel like when told by someone well-meaning, who wasn't asked, that he or she ought to seek healing of a same-sex inclination, please see "It's the hope," by blogger "Steve Gershom." The title refers to a quotation from comedian John Cleese: "It’s not the despair … I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand." (Humor!)
http://www.stevegershom.com/2012/06/its-the-hope/

Mary Lou also writes: "I have long wondered why we consider the sin of homosexuality to be so much worse than other sins such as adultery, for example. We are all sinners and all of us struggle with temptation regarding some sin or other. So why are we particularly hard on gays?"

Gil has already addressed the contextual gravity of same-sex acts. To his reply I would first add that, just as when one can distinguish in an examination of conscience between venial sins and mortal sins, Catholic moral theology also distinguishes between subjective and objective culpability. Many factors, including the unwanted inclination, any personal woundedness including from unjust discrimination, and the contemporary glamorization of gay culture, could well limit subjective culpability for even grave matter. Discerning personal culpability is between the penitent and the confessor. Members of Courage (and EnCourage) are expected to have spiritual directors, and clergy who have participated in study days offered by the Apostolate will be better prepared to offer sacramental and pastoral care to persons affected by SSA.

I would also add that we in the Church are not "particularly hard on gays" -- though it may seem that way when we are negligent! Just as the world says to Daniel Mattson "go get a boyfriend," the world says to me as an infertile woman "go ahead and get IVF." But The Sheepcat and I think that the Sheepkittens would deserve better than that. So we're open to biological children through NaProTechnology and/or to adoptive children -- and otherwise, we need to ask what the Lord wants us free for. "'Father, if
Thou art willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done'" (Luke 22:42). What does the world say to you, that you disregard in favor of His will?

Catholic moral theology is best lived and taught as a beautiful tapestry. Whenever one pulls on a single thread, one distorts the whole work. For an explanation of how every Catholic should expect to make an ongoing sacrifice connected to sexuality, which will vary according to one's circumstances and state of life, please see former atheist blogger Jen Fulwiler's "A conversation with my gay friend."
http://www.conversiondiary.com/2012/07/a-conversation-with-my-gay-friend.html

"You don’t get to do whatever you want, whenever you want, even as a married heterosexual. All sexual activity must be ordered toward new human life .... In this view you are constantly having to make sacrifices out of respect for what this act is all about ... Notice that we’re all sacrificing, and that all of the sacrifices are about the same thing: love and respect for new human life, and specifically the act that creates new human life .... I have converted to the religion of the crucifix, a belief system that promises joy in exchange for losing it all."

Jesus said "if you would be my disciple you must deny yourself, pick up your cross daily and follow me". Where does He leads us but to Calvary where we complete the self emptying of our self of ourselves of all that stand in contradiction to God in order that God may be all in all. Self denial is the first step where we deny our own willfulness and embrace God's Holy Will. But we don't stand still and congratulate ourselves because we have arrived for now is the time where having received our one talent, the cross, we must now embrace it for it's daily challenges will discover daily to us where we need to change and grow and not give in to any desire, whim or self pity thus so quickly burying that talent, the daily cross, that in time would work in us the likeness of the image of Jesus Christ! Insisting on satisfying our petulant self will in all things is self destructive it is the road to perdition. Yes to God and No to self for I hope for all good things from God and fear all evil from myself.

Dear Jon Rowe,

"[T[his is why a lot of you folks are trying to run away from or explain away [connect of homosexuality with great art]."

Admittedly. I said more or less this in my previous post. But this is also why folks like you, who see nothing wrong with homosexuality (or even see it as a positive good) are inclined to interpret such studies the way you do without being too careful about the other logical possibilities (as I said above).

In other words ... It's great that we can each admit our motivations for wanting to think that we think, but we MUST ALSO detach from what we wish to be true when we begin to make logical judgments. And I don't see very many of those who view homosexuality as a good being willing to practice that detachment.

Clearly, we're just going to disagree on Cole Porter and the many other artists who were or may have been homosexual! However, I suggest that you put to yourself this exercise. Take several artists who are known to have been heterosexual, and ask yourself whether their art would have been greater if their orientation were different. I think not ...

"You also have to consider bright, emotionally sensitive artistic types, because of that condition, may be likely to view the world in a particular way that makes them more liable to suffer from anxiety or depression regardless of what kind of childhood they had."

Absolutely agreed. Self included. BUT, that doesn't prove much one way or the other on the main question, does it? Or, if anything, it suggests that homosexuality might be a product of sensitivity, and not vice versa.

Thanks Mrs Sheepcat for charitably expanding on what I had written and for the rest of what you wrote. It breaks my heart that these discussions don't take place in parish life; for example, in adult education classes and assembly life. Oftentimes it is our ignorance as Catholics that moves us via compassion to support a lifestyle that is separating a person from a life more abundantly in Christ, another factor in aiding and abetting the nihilism that we breathe in daily even in our churches.

Flannery O'Connor named one of the major symptoms of this all-pervasive nihilism as a belief in the “freedom of self invention", i.e., inventing identities on our own terms in our radical autonomy as individuals, ignoring reason and revelation, which, at its center, defies moral values that even atheists can discover through reason.

Thank you, Mr. Mattson, for speaking out in truth and love about such a complex and difficult, and painful, topic. May Our Lord continue to bless you. You are inspiring and give me, and many others, great hope. The pleasures of this life are fleeting. You have rightly chosen the path that leads Home, to the place of eternal bliss, where you will forever embrace the Light that you can only glimpse on this side of the Vale. Until you finish this earthly pilgrimage, never let down your guard for an instant, and remember that your sustenance derives from the endless mystical pool of divine grace, the sanctifying grace that is only found in His Sacraments. Be assured of my prayers and my love. I remain your sister in Christ. Catherine

Thank you for this post and for your contribution to this discussion. Reading several pieces lately about proper terminology for Christians who experience(d) same sex attraction, I had started to think "woundedness" was a central concept in this debate. There seemed to be differing opinions over whether same sex attraction a wound, a gift, or both? There was agreement that homosexual actions were sins, but I think many, trying to think with the mind of the Church, were trying to understand how to view the same sex attractions. The Church teaches they are not sinful, but how are we to view them?

I think your reasoning on this is the best analysis so far. It convinces me that same sex attraction is best understood as a wound. I don't expect we can always or fully know the ultimate origin or reason for the wound (your reference to the man born blind is helpful here). However, I think what you have said bolsters the case for understanding same sex attraction as a wound.

I believe the key to your argument is your reminder to us that everything we have is willed or allowed by God. The gifts don't come from the wounds - they come from God. The analogy to the blind man helps me understand why God might allow something like same sex attraction. "It has been allowed in my life, so that God’s work would be made manifest in me."

And you also help me understand why same sex attraction must be understood as a wound - so people both seek and receive God's help and healing. As you say, "the good is the redemptive healing work of God that begins when we honestly acknowledge that homosexuality is a wound."

Reading that, I am reminded of all those miracles in the Gospels occasioned by wounds that drove people to seek out Christ. Would those people have been prompted/driven to this strange and scandalous figure if they did not recognize their weakness? If they (1) didn't think they were sick and if they (2) didn't hear of Christ so that they could believe in Him, how would they have ever been moved toward Jesus? This reminds me of the importance of making sure people understand both that same sex attraction is a wound and that Christ wants the wounded to come to him for healing and to offer their wounds.

Thanks, Daniel, for a great article. You give me hope.

I didn't fully understand our union with Christ in suffering and how joy through that grace results. Whenever I look back on my life in a reflective and open way, God's work in my life becomes clear to me. While going through an event, if suffering is involved, God's relationship with me is not so clear. Later, the gratitude I feel leads to joy and understanding.!

Faith becomes knowledge.

Some on this blog are blocking themselves from understanding that, and deride Daniel for his feelings and beliefs. St. Faustina asked Jesus for more suffering because she felt in her soul the spiritual dimension of joining Jesus on the Cross! For anyone who thinks that to be naive, grim or otherwise off-center from Christian love, needs to reflect on just what the Cross means to a Catholic Christian. Using reason in this case has limitations; it is more a matter of faith for which one must pray, because faith is indeed a gift of God.

Love Fitzgerald's response above. A great spirit of wisdom and charity.

Words can clarify or muddle the waters. I came across the word, "invert" a long time back in a Grahame Greene Novel. It meant a non-practicing homosexual. Would this be a better word to use than the "SSA". We seem to be using so many initials or shorthand as it were that I find it sometimes very laborious reading an article with so many groups of of consonants linked together. Then again it's even worse when I don't know what they all mean.

Complaining aside, this article beautifully illustrates God's plan for his children that are His Victim Souls. God Bless them all.

Same-sex attraction (SSA) is still the best set of words to use. As you can see, it does not judge or condemn, but simply states what the issue is. "Invert" could mean a whole host of things. "Gay" is devoid of all meaning as a word connected to SSA until someone breaks the code and lets the rest of us in on the link between SSA and that word. In fact, repeated research studies in peer reviewed journals identify far greater prevalence of depression in those in the homosexual lifestyle. This finding is not the result of homophobia, but of a lifestyle marked by a lack of fidelity, loyalty and, also abuse. The lifestyle is not gay.

It is best to be direct and "same-sex attraction" is direct. Also, SSA accurately describes a condition that is not permanent, genetically determined and can be resolved.

Daniel, I was directed here by an Aunt of mine who was no doubt attempting to help me. I'm sorry but as an artist, and a man who is married to another man, and also as a spiritualist, I will not be chaste, nor will I expound on the meaninglessness of these semantics. God bless you and the life you have chosen. It's not about sex and penance. It's about love. I hope that you find someone that you really and truly love some day and then you won't have to worry about the terminology of everyone around you thinking that the way they did not choose to love is better than the way you did not choose to love. It is my hope that I may have helped you instead.

Hugh,

I suspect that Mr. Mattson would agree with you that it is not about sex and penance, but about love. The question then becomes what is the love that most draws you in, and I suspect Mr. Mattson's is God’s love, and his response to that love is loving God with his whole heart, mind and soul and his neighbor as himself (I’m certain he loves you), and that he has obviously found a way to do that and it is working for him, by loving Jesus. And I also suspect that he has sought a way to get as close to Jesus as he can, as Beloved John was able to do when Jesus walked this earth, and has found the best way to do that is by being a member of the body of Christ with the guidance of the Church that Jesus gifted to us for that very reason.

Thank you, Mr. Mattson for your beautiful article. Ever since reading Mr. Gonnerman's 2nd piece, I have been struggling over this concept of identifying oneself as "gay". If homosexual inclinations are disordered - as are inclinations toward anger, lust, envy, etc. - why would one want to draw attention to those inclinations in ourselves by identifying with those inclinations? I struggle with anger - shall I identify myself as an Angry Christian? Yes - language means something! Maybe Mr. Gonnerman views the term "gay" in a different light. The fact remains that many people now have associations with that word which would cause scandal to those who hear him identify himself as such.

My question is why does our identity as Christian need any further modifiers?

"For through faith you are all children of God in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Gal 3:26-28

I must commend you, Dan, on an excellent, well-written article. I have had some spirited debate with Dan on our common wound of SSA; and, its implication for our lives, and how we live our Catholic Faith through this.

I must concede that I may have been right on some minor issues: I was wrong on the larger framework offered here by Dan, so succinctly. I am an older woman with SSA; years before Stonewall, and now living in a world upside-down and inside-out. I am a Catholic, and believe what the Church teaches concerning same sex behavior; always have.

However, I would like to add to Dan's presentation here, the thought that we be patient with one another, and remember that God is not finished with us. I lived some decades without being bothered by my SSA, and helping a family member in their later years. I, in my pride, thought I had figured it out. Little did I know, that when that period of my life would end, my SSA would come roaring back, full tilt. So, one thing I've learned from my own experience is that I need the humility to realize I don't have all the answers for myself, let alone anyone else.

For awhile, and even now sometimes, I need the cliff-note version of same sex attraction, that is the word 'gay', when speaking to those of importance in my life to avoid lengthy discussions of terminology, at that moment. I needed the word 'gay', for a time, also, to find a home for myself in the community of man, not as a badge of same sex sexual behavior, not as a political statement, not as a thumb-in-the-eye of society; but, as a place that said I fit, somehow, somewhere. It made me feel that somehow I belonged with you, not apart from you. I couldn't meet you with anything that seemed important enough to matter, i.e., mother, wife, widow, divorced even ... and, somehow the word 'gay' gave me a legitimacy, in some odd way.

The season of my need to use the word 'gay' seems to be coming to an end. However, for those of us with same sex attractions who are somewhat older and have had our seasons, our sins, and our sensitivities; perhaps, "we could bear ye one another's burdens; and, so we shall fulfill the Law of Christ". "Bearing with", perhaps, means our patience with those of us who are committed to a life of chastity; but, struggle with attaining it: for those of us who struggle with how to see themselves and make meaning of SSA in and for their lives, and use terms that ease that struggle.

I appreciate both Joshua Gonnerman's article and Dan Mattson's article. Both men are Catholic and striving for the same goals; but, as with all things, we need to be patient with one another, and where Our Lord has placed each of us at the present moment. To disregard this, is, I think, to disregard Him, who knows what is best for each of us, always.

Thank you, again, Dan, for a wonderful article.

I'd like to add several other comments on the use of the word 'gay'. Dan has made note that the new English Version of the Nicene Creed uses the word 'consubstantial', and uses the argument of better clarity in meaning from the Church. What about the 30+ years of using 'One in Being' versus the current 'consubstantial'? Are we to determine the Church was somehow remiss in Her language for all those years? Are we to believe that people in the pews actually understand 'consubstantial' as meaning some variant of 'One in Being'? I'm not actually sure that Dan's argument holds up in this instance of the word 'gay' and 'same sex attraction' versus 'consubstantial' and 'One in Being'. Being faithful to the Church in language, it seems, can change. It certainly has on many instances over the last 45+ years via the New Mass versus the Tridentine Mass.

Further, I see no instance of the verbiage 'same sex attractions' in the formidable Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC). Throughout the Section on the 6th Commandment, the words used are: Homosexuality, homosexual tendencies, homosexual acts, Homosexual Persons. Nor, do I find the term 'gay' in the CCC. I might remind readers that the CCC is a book from the Authentic Magisterium, and thus serves as the current definitive source for the Church's view on Homosexuality.

Holy Mother Church, being the wise Mother that She is, has always allowed for a fairly wide latitude for Her children. Such is the reason we have the many Religious Orders: Dominican, Franciscan, Benedictine, Jesuit, etc. I think I can say with a good amount of certainty that the use of the word 'gay' is in no way sinful; although, it may be impolitic, at times.

Second argument concerning whether being 'gay' is a gift. I think it can be seen thus, insofar as it, in and of itself, God's way for us homosexual persons a glorious opportunity to share in Our Lord's Passion. It is God's way of bringing good out of disorder. Just as the Church is wont to sing in joyous praise in the Exultet of the Easter Vigil: "O happy fault that merited such and so great a Redeemer." Or, "The Catholic saint Ambrose also speaks of the fortunate ruin of Adam in the Garden of Eden in that his sin brought more good to humanity than if he had stayed perfectly innocent."

And, in this day and age, my gift from God of sexual brokenness, and the glorious state of chastity that God can use as He wills for others, is a gift that keeps on giving for a world sexually broken in so many ways. We can link arms with those struggling against porn, promiscuity, fornication, adultery, masturbation, abortion, divorce and remarriage, etc.

I know, Dan, was talking about 'gift' of homosexuality in a sense that others may see certain natural talents, anecdotally at least, accruing to our condition. I can't speak to that, for now. What I do decry is the emphasis on 'disorder' for 'disorder's sake' ... and, not on seeing being homosexual as opportunity. I think we can only move from 'disorder' to 'gift' when we rise above the natural to the supernatural.

One last note: Our Lady at Fatima told the 3 children several things: first, most souls go to hell because they have no one to pray for them: second, most souls go to hell because of sins of the flesh. Something for all of us to ponder.

In the light of the word of God and where God stands on this subject. The Bible is very clear that a relationship is to be only between a man and woman. Even the Jewish law did not permit gay relationship. Yet as the people back in that time had problem in obeying the law so is it today. Then it was idols that they worshipped which costed them their relationship with God. How many prophets spoke to the people about it. Today, is no different the church instead of obeying what the Bible said try to make part of the ible back up their lifestyle. Even the book of Roman in the 1st chapter describles the gay lifestyle and what the results are. God is willing to forgive sin through the blood of Jesus Christ. Repentive come when an individual come to know he is a sinner and ask Jesus into his or her heart as their Savour. This is not done by joining a church or going through any thing the church said one has to do to get right with God. God does forgive gays and wants them to move away from the lifestyle. God Himself laid the foundation in the garden of what a relationship is. He created man in his image and woman from a man rib. God brought them together as one. From there He told after they had sin that woman would have offspring. This done by God and to this day it has not changed. I believe the article written is flawed because accordance to the Bible the relationship is between one man and woman. Salvation come from God through Jesus Christ by those repent and washed in His blood. There is no church ordance that can by pass this. Jesus himself said that " I am way the truth and the life and No man come to Father accept through Him" and He also "I am the door and no man can go the heaven without going through that door" There is no such thing as a gay christian, because God does not see it that way. A person who get saved by grace will go away from that lifestyle because the Spirit of God which take up residents in the heart will not allow the individual to remain in that lifestyle. Jesus is the way and a individual must be convicted of their sins and asked Jesus into their heart. Once this happen they will change because now Jesus live in them and God, Himself will not allow them to remain in this type of lifestyle but change them into what He want accordance to His Word. This includes relationship as God see and has created it in the garden. God see it in no other way and mankind must submit to God's will. God will not bend to man's will at all. Jesus has the final say!!!

Daniel M, thank you for your honesty and insights. allow me to point out that in your description of yourself you use the example of the man born blind. But in this instance in the scriptures the man did not remain blind but received his sight. Daniel, you too as you come into the knowledge of Jesus Christ as the one who has paid the price for all sin, for all of man, for all time ( Hebrews 10), can be completely healed of this desire in your flesh. It is by the grace of God that you can only receive by faith which will allow you to resist the devil so that he will flee. For if you are truely born again ( John 3) then you are a new creation in Christ (1Cor 5:17). And it is your spirit that is new, not your body or your soul (emotions, thoughts, etc.) learn to follow the leading of this new spirit and be baptized in the Holy Spirit to walk in victory. Learn the truth an it will set you free! God Bless you

Thanks to all for the comments to my piece. Though I've not commented in response to any as of yet, I feel the need to respond to Scott's, briefly.

I think it is problematic to link any sort of change of a dramatic nature such as a change of sexual attractions to whether or not someone has "come into the knowledge of Jesus Christ," as Scott seems to suggest. This sort of thinking has damaged a lot of people with same sex attraction by placing unrealistic hopes and expectations on their life of faith. If change doesn't happen, it's because they haven't grown in their knowledge of Christ? It's clear to me that the man born blind in John 9 really had no "knowledge of Jesus Christ" other than hearsay, until after he was healed. It was the love and will of God that caused the man's sight to be restored. It wasn't some sort of gauge of the depth of his relationship with Christ.

I think of St. Paul, whose "thorn in the flesh" wasn't healed, (which many scholars believe was related to poor eyesight.) Surely if having a "knowledge of Jesus Christ" is the reason someone finds healing of his woundedness, St. Paul would have qualified!

If I live with SSA, it is for my good and for my sanctification. If God somehow decides to heal this disorder within me, it too will be for my good and for my sanctification. That would be the reason--not because I had suddenly "come into a knowledge of Jesus Christ" more than I had the day before. I know that whatever He allows in my life is for my good, and indeed is what will actually cause me to grow in my knowledge of Jesus Christ.

I think well meaning people should avoid suggesting to people like me that the greatest sign of God's love and power in our lives will be evidenced when we see our attractions change. I simply don't believe that's what God is concerned about, as much as He is our sanctification and trusting all to his Divine Providence.

I have no doubt that God has the power to change such things in my life. I just don't think He finds it that important that my attractions change, nor do I. I trust in His will for my life, and I've now come to see my SSA as a "severe mercy," and wouldn't rewrite it out of my life. If God wills it otherwise in the future, I say "Thy will be done." If it stays in my life until I'm dead, I'll thank God He allowed it in my life, and say again, "Thy will be done."

It is as unwise and imprudent to tell people with SSA that God will change them when they "come into a knowledge of Jesus Christ" as it is to tell a cancer patient, or a deaf person, or a man without a limb that they will receive physical healing when they "come into a knowledge of Jesus Christ." Certainly God has the power to heal and change, but He so often doesn't do this--because He, and only He--knows what is good for our souls

So I live in trust, and caution against Christians proclaiming what Scott proclaimed to me, while still believing that it is possible to hope for change, for those who desire it. However, it should never be linked with the supposed depth of relationship with God, but only related to God's benevolent Providence. We can only find peace in this life when we trust that God's will is always being done in our lives, and this, I think, is truly what we must strive for if we desire to "come into a knowledge of Christ."

Thank you Scott, but I would caution you and others against saying things such as this to people with same sex attraction. I think it is misguided, and reflects a confused theology (at least in terms of Catholic teaching) about theodicy.

I struggle with the idea of seeing homosexual as a "wound". Its not a mental illness. I believe it is a struggle - but a struggle that bring us into the healing heart of Christ. There are people in the world who are A-sexual and don't experience the joy of attraction one way or another. In my acceptance of my homosexuality, I have developed a deeper sense of gratitude that I do feel the beauty of attraction. Yes, I believe in and live a chaste life. But I have come to believe that the joy of attraction either of heterosexual nature or homosexual, is truly a gift. It can breath life into each of us when seen through the eyes of faith. I would rather be homosexual than A-sexual any day. I am tired of feeling the shame associated with being homosexual. We are all children of God.

Thank you,

Daniel

I would like to argue with you Nathanael a bit...As you get to know Jesus better, by the Grace of God you are changing in the likeness of Jesus...the closer you are to Him, the more light is in you and darkness disapears...Do you pretend that the disorder of SSA can stay? Either you want complete Light, or you will still have some darkness inside you....that's the way it is...we are all called to be saints...As God is Order, every disorder has to go away...otherwise God is not your number One and you are keeping the disorder to yourself....like you are afraid to get rid of the the ugly slimy lizard on your shoulder because it was with you for such a long time....this is the way evil is deceiting you and you cannot see it...you cannot "put on Jesus" as St. Paul suggests...it is not possible with any lizards, snakes and other slimy a dark things as you can read in the Interior Castle from St. Teresa of Avila...
Have you been to the mass today? "We are well aware that all of us have knowledge; but while knowledge puffs up, love is what builds up. Someone may think that he has full knowledge of something and yet not know it as well as he should" (1 Cor 8,1-2) It reminded me your answer to Scott. You are too sure what God planned for you. You pretend to know what God wants for you in your life...I am afraid that Jesus will tell you the same as he told Sadducees: "You are wrong, because you understand neither the scriptures nor the power of God"

Dear Mr. Mattson,

I came to read your article after hearing you on EWTN. I have never really known what to think about "being gay". All I knew was that the lifestyle that I have seen friends and family display made me uncomfortable because it seemed inconsistent with the love of God.

Thank you for writing your article and speaking about your life. It must take great courage to do so, especially when such ideas are so very unpopular. I have a lot to think about. God bless you.

I, like Nichole, heard your interview on EWTN and found it so very helpful. Are there any words that you could share with a parent or sibling? I have always been able to cope with the idea, thinking that my son was practicing homosexuality in theory only. But now I know it has most likely "evolved" to actions more than theory. I love my son with my whole heart and soul but my entire life as it was changed totally in just one day, 7 years ago when he was 15. There are many mysteries in life and homosexuality is at the top of the list in my book. But I feel that I so desperately need to understand more. Can you help?

Dear Carmen,

I think you are not alone, and I think your story is one which is often repeated, and in this day and age, I fear will be repeated over and over. But we must never doubt that God works all things to good, as St. Paul tells us, and bringing good out of a son's active homosexuality certainly isn't outside the realm of His redemptive power, thanks be to God!

Have you watched the YouTube video I made, which is directed towards parents and family members? Perhaps it can be helpful in making some sense of why God allowed this in your life and in your son's life. Here is the direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPG8HbvKglY

I would like to also suggest a few books that I think will help you immensely. The first is called "Same Sex Attraction: A Parent's Guide." It's published by St. Augustine Press. It's an excellent book.

http://www.staugustine.net/our-books/books/same-sex-attraction/

A second book that I would recommend purchasing is called "Homosexuality and the Catholic Church: Clear Answers to Difficult Questions." It is published by Ascension Press and has a helpful Question and Answer format. Both are excellent books and can help you understand both your son's situation, as well as ways in which you can wisely, and lovingly, respond to him.

http://ascensionpress.com/products/homosexuality-and-the-catholic-church

I noticed that several questions came in to the interview on how best to respond to loved ones who have chosen to live out their homosexual inclination. I'm working on getting an article or two publised on that very subject and when, and if that happens (Lord willing), I will be posting the link to the article here, as well as on my blog: LettersToChristopher.wordpress.com

Finally, let me recommend the Courage website as an excellent resource for you. There are numerous resources there which can be of great service to you. Please avail yourself of the EnCourage section, and if there isn't an EnCourage chapter near you, you can participate in their online forum, which can be of great help to you as well.

http://couragerc.net/

The direct link to EnCourage is here: http://couragerc.net/EnCourage.html

God bless you, and if you (or anyone else for that matter) would like to correspond more, feel free to contact me at LettersToChristopherBlog@gmail.com

I will pray for you and your son. Never forget that our Heavenly Father desires your son to return to Him more than even you, and I encourage you to cling to the example of St. Monica. This prayer in particular I think is quite beautiful, and you can Google more prayers to St. Monica.

"O glorious St. Monica, greatly challenged among mothers, I feel particularly attracted by you who gave such an enlightened example of motherly love.

Who could understand better than you the anxieties and fears of a mother worrying about the eternal salvation of her children? You endured all, since in the order of nature, St. Augustine is the fruit of your womb, and in the order of grace, the fruit of your tears. For this reason I am greatly convinced that if you here on earth, with the sanctity of your life and the perseverance of your prayers, were one of the great models of the Christian mother, you must enjoy in heaven the privilege of being their singular protector.

Obtain for me the grace to faithfully imitate your virtues, and furthermore, may my children avoid those errors and failures you disapproved of so strongly in your son. And if it will happen, to my misfortune, that they too fall, grant me the grace to obtain with my prayers, supported by yours, as perfect a conversion as you were able to obtain for your son. Amen."

Ok, many seem to have the same question, so here it goes. Homosexuality isn't a sin. It's considered a wound because it currupts the spiritual well-being, as it may lead the wounded soul to comit homosexual acts which are considered by God great offense.

The word "wound" is totally apliable because it's the result of a (spiritually) past harmfull experience, as it's not a birth trait. We may be sure of this because any person that experiences same sex attraction is prone to fall in atrocious sin, so God wouldn't let anybody be born with a higher tendency to commit that kind of sin, than another with no homosexual inclinations whatsoever.

What this "spiritaully past harmfull experiences" may be; that I'm not sure of. The enemy has sneaky ways of getting into the lives of us, God's creatures. But always keep in mind God's mercy is powerfull, and there is no wound he can't heal, so let us start accepting our condition is not from God, and beguin embracing what does come for him: his mercy and his healing power.

I encourage you to not feel offended of what you found in this article, cause it may be the answer to your prayers of "what should I do with this same sex attraction?". We may not like at first what the answer is, but ultimately, we'll find great joy and peace on following this doctrine.