St. Peter stands at the Heavenly Gates
enrolling a new admission.
“Reporting for duty, sir,” Mike Clancy states.
“First, make a good Act of Contrition.”
Mike signs himself and confesses his sins:
“Well, I drink a bit more than I should
and brawl some and lie some.” “Absolved,” Peter says,
“But have you done anything good?”
“As a matter of fact, sir, I rescued a girl
from six bikers who’d taken her purse.
If I hadn’t gotten between her and them
she’d have suffered a fate even worse!
“I grabbed the biggest one by the ring
in his nose and spun him around,
kicked over his Harley, and spat in his face,
and wrestled him down to the ground!
“Then I told them if they harmed a hair on her head
they’d all have to answer to me!”
St. Peter’s impressed, but he can’t find the deed
in his Gold Book. “Was this recently?
“I don’t have you listed.” Mike shouts, “Just a minute!
You’re saying my story ain’t so?”
He shuffles the pages. “I’ve got to be in it!
Why, it wasn’t five minutes ago!”