Support First Things by turning your adblocker off or by making a  donation. Thanks!

Why not call the sun the moon?
Or call coffee tea?
Why not call a cat a dog
Or a bird a bee?

Why not call all boys girls?
Call all Mamas Dad,
Call all opera rock ’n’ roll,
Call a lass a lad?

Say there is no climate change.
The truth will set you free.
The world is flat, so that is that,
And Hazel’s twenty-three.

Dear Reader,

We launched the First Things 2023 Year-End Campaign to keep articles like the one you just read free of charge to everyone.

Measured in dollars and cents, this doesn't make sense. But consider who is able to read First Things: pastors and priests, college students and professors, young professionals and families. Last year, we had more than three million unique readers on

Informing and inspiring these people is why First Things doesn't only think in terms of dollars and cents. And it's why we urgently need your year-end support.

Will you give today?

Make My Gift