One day I woke up and became a None;
It gave me lots more time to think and pray.
I’d think about bad things religion’s done,
And pray that God would now see things my way.
I wasn’t like those numskulls who believed
Almighty God did not per se exist.
I mainly just preferred to be relieved
From Sunday wake-ups on which he’d insist.
Instead I’d get up just in time for brunch,
And nod at all the other Nones I’d see.
And God (per se) I duly thanked a bunch
For giving us mimosa that was free.
Some fellow Nones observed me giving thanks
And threatened to remove me from the ranks.