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Can you vote for a 1960s-model James Bond knock-off for president? If so, would you believe Steve Carell as Agent 86 in 2008? If there’s one thing our country needs right now is reliable intelligence.

But then again, John Rambo has such solid foreign-policy experience.

As opposed to Iron Man , who I believe also brings with him some illicit-drug baggage.

And spare me the “But they’re fictional characters” taunt. Look closely at this lineup again. Reality bites.

Dear Reader,

While I have you, can I ask you something? I’ll be quick.

Twenty-five thousand people subscribe to First Things. Why can’t that be fifty thousand? Three million people read First Things online like you are right now. Why can’t that be four million?

Let’s stop saying “can’t.” Because it can. And your year-end gift of just $50, $100, or even $250 or more will make it possible.

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