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I am super delighted to see Reihan joining me in the use of ‘econopocalypse’ lingo, but super distressed to see that he is choosing to do so because he increasingly believes we are really destined for an economic apocalypse. Fortunately, the apocalypse has already happened. You haven’t noticed, but zombies have arisen across the country and are currently descending on YOUR HOUSE:

There may well be good reasons for Obama’s itchy intervention-finger, but there’s a real danger that we’ll be left with zombie banks, zombie industries, and a zombie economy that limps along, bleeding jobs and growth for years. Think of this as removing a Band-Aid really, really, really slowly.

What happens next? Honestly, what happens next is even scarier. The Establishment — the academic and policy elite, Wall Street, famous sexy people — are more invested in Obama than they’ve been in any president in decades. If Obama fails, a whole system will go down with him. The Republicans will win by default, and they’ll have learned nothing from over a decade of borderline-imbecilic unforced errors.

Instead of, say, Return of the Living Dead III , in which a disaffected schlub falls for the sexy, zombified daughter of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, in Reihan’s Nightmare we see our sexy womenfolk and our nerdy men of power falling for a zombie schlub economy. Far more horrific a plot, and sadly much less compelling viewing.

More on: Film, Oeconomics

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