Support First Things by turning your adblocker off or by making a  donation. Thanks!

Whoo. Let’s see what we’ve got going on tonight.

Oh, oh, oh. Check it out. Easter’s over, baby, but you can beat the rush.

I know about being forgiven, but won’t wearing a t-shirt that says so make people want to ask you what you did? In my town it would. “Whu’d you do, honey? Gracious, that is bad. Are you sure you ought to have that shirt on?”

But it’ll look great with your temporary tattoo, not to mention your tongue barbell, which alas requires a procedure which is not temporary and the thought of which grosses me out completely, so I won’t be inviting you to dinner. Sorry.

For all I know, this band is decent, but what does “The Interpreters” make you think of?

“Hello, and welcome to our show.”

Bonjour, et bienvenue a notre spectacle . . .

“It’s super to see such a dandy crowd of folks.”

Il est Americain. Etc.

That’s what I’m thinking.

Moving on, moving on . . . to the Pope Innocent III Action Figure.

Armed with his formidable power of excommunication and an intimidating scroll inscribed with Latin text this model of the 176th Pope will soon have all your other action figures lining up for confession.

Like this Episcopalian, for example.

Your photo here. Hm.

Goodness, it’s 12:27 a.m. How time flies when you’re whooping it up at eBay. And we haven’t even had a chance to talk about this oil painting of Mary Baker Eddy, but that will have to wait for another day.

Dear Reader,

We launched the First Things 2023 Year-End Campaign to keep articles like the one you just read free of charge to everyone.

Measured in dollars and cents, this doesn't make sense. But consider who is able to read First Things: pastors and priests, college students and professors, young professionals and families. Last year, we had more than three million unique readers on

Informing and inspiring these people is why First Things doesn't only think in terms of dollars and cents. And it's why we urgently need your year-end support.

Will you give today?

Make My Gift

Comments are visible to subscribers only. Log in or subscribe to join the conversation.



Filter First Thoughts Posts

Related Articles