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Today we released the March 2016 edition of First Things on our website. For the amusement of readers (and the delight of anyone who likes to get a glimpse behind the curtain), I have compiled some of the also-ran titles: headings for pieces that were suggested at our titles meeting but nixed for being too punny, too punchy, or simply too much.

In the list below, the final title of the piece is in bold, and the nixed titles are listed below it. Enjoy!

Coates's Lost Cause by R. R. Reno
Apostle of Grievance

The Body's Lessons by Sarah Ruden
The Heresy of Weightlessness
Womanhood Contracted to a Span

Monument to Failure by Justin Shubow
Artless Architecture
Tear it Down!

March Madness? Just Say No by Gilbert Meilander
Standing Athwart the NCAA

Haven't an Inkling by A. N. Wilson
A Rosicrucian at Oxford
Backstreet Mystic
Cult-Leader of Coinherence

The Green and the Brown by Helen Andrews
Ecological Sturm und Drang
The Garden of Nazi Delights

Alexi Sargeant is a Junior Fellow at First Things.

More on: Rejected Titles

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