The December 2016 issue of First Things is ready for your perusal, in print and on our fine website. Here, loyal readers, is an early Christmas present for all of you: a glimpse behind the curtain at some of our also-ran titles. These are headings that were suggested at our titles meeting but nixed for being too punny, too punchy, or simply too much.

In the list below, the final title of the piece is in bold, and the nixed titles are listed below it. Enjoy!

Soros and Simony by Charlotte Allen
The Church is Not for Sale
Can’t Buy Me Heresy
The Soros Supremacy?
Mammon Descendant

Cocktail Theology by William Dailey
A Priest Walks into a Bar

The Protest by Malcolm Rivers
How Would Jesus Protest?

Transgender Conformity by Katherine Kersten
Playing Along
Down With Reality
Nurturing Delusion

Down and Out at Del Mar by Mark Bauerlein
The Mystery of Dysfunction
Depravity at the Racetrack

Alexi Sargeant is assistant editor of First Things.

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