You have to love the headline: “Military Now Says…”

Yeah, right. We’re onto the military and their filthy lies. First they unleash The Mist. Then they silence Dennis Kucinich. Now they’re guiding alien intelligence out of Texas airspace and into another space-time dimension, where our extraterrestrial “guests” will be given the Guantanamo treatment until they come clean about how on earth Howie Mandel has a career.

AND DON’T THINK WE’VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT AREA 51! And what about this, huh? Videotape doesn’t lie—only the government lies!