Casual sex doesn’t exist, says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher:
Question: Can casual sex trigger love?
Helen Fisher: I think that all three of these brain systems can interact with one another, particularly when you have sex with somebody. Any kind of sexual stimulation of the genitals triggers the dopamine system in the brain and can push you over that threshold into falling in love with that person. And in fact, with orgasm, there’s a real flood of oxytocin and vasopressin, other chemicals in the brain associated with the feeling of deep attachment. So, casual sex is really never casual unless you’re so drunk you can’t remember it; something happens. As a matter of fact, in one study of over a thousand people, over 50% of both men and women reported that their first kiss of somebody was sort of the kiss of death. They had begun quite attracted to a person sexually and romantically and then when they kissed them, it was so horrible for them that it turned them off completely. So, casual sex is just plain old not casual. Something can happen. You can either fall madly in love with this person, or you can begin a deep sense of attachment to them.
As a matter of fact, I’ve been working with a graduate student named Justin Garcia, and he and I believe that people go into hookups, or one-night stands hoping to trigger a longer relationship. And in fact, in a study that he did of 515 men and women in a college in the northeast, he asked them why they went into this hookup; this one-night stand. Fifty percent of women and 52% of men reported that they went into the sexual experience hoping to trigger a longer relationship, and in fact, 1/3 of them did.
So, consciously, when people go into the one-night stands, they probably aren’t thinking, oh, I’m going to trigger the brain system, or the dopamine system in the brain and make this person fall in love with me, but somehow, intuitively, they know that sex is powerful and that it can trigger powerful feelings of love.
(Via: Postmodern Conservative)
January 3rd, 2011 | 10:31 am
Hello! This is wonderful ! I knew that there is no such thing as casual sex and now I have info to help state “my case”. I often mentor young women and warn them against casual sex because of the inappropriate connection which may occur.
January 3rd, 2011 | 11:25 am
As usual, the headline overstates things. But then, ‘Casual Sex Is A Lot Less Common Than Many Believe’ isn’t as attention-grabbing.
January 3rd, 2011 | 11:28 am
As usual, the headline overstates things.
Well, I thought it was a kinder headline that the more accurate, “Only psychopaths and perverts believe in sex can be ‘casual’”.
January 3rd, 2011 | 1:17 pm
Ah, Joe. :)
It seems it’s not just the Pope’s comments that get wildly distorted by the media and pundits.
January 3rd, 2011 | 1:46 pm
I don’t think you need concede that the original headline is inaccurate, since the perceptions of psychopaths and perverts are by definition distorted. There really *is* no such thing as casual sex.
January 3rd, 2011 | 4:02 pm
Saying that sex can lead to bonding or romantic love is not the same thing as saying that it must. More, using statistics where fully half the respondents don’t fit the model is, er, reaching a bit.
If people don’t have the biochemical reactions Fisher discusses, does that mean they are psychopaths or perverts?
Hardly anything we do, even biologically, has but one purpose. Even meals can have a powerful social dimension, for example. But if one has a meal without such a social component, is that automatically psychopathic or perverted? Should all meals be a Thanksgiving feast, every time?
January 4th, 2011 | 10:46 am
It seems that the distinction between “conscious” and “subconscious” needs to be made here. “Conscious” casual sex does exist. This has to do with the conscious intention of the people involved. People consciously have sex with no intention of it leading anywhere else. That’s casual sex. This is a decision.
“Subconscious” casual sex has to do with the neural response. Sex apparently has the ability to lead to more feelings, and not be just “casual”. But that is not guaranteed even if the person consciously chooses it to not be casual. On the flip side, even though a participant may intend for a sexual encounter to be casual, “feelings” may arise. At that point the person must decide to act upon those feelings or not, and that will determine if future encounters with the same person are consciously casual or not (regardless of the status of the original encounter). To take it further, a person may be in psychological denial of their true, conscious intentions.
Finally, we can’t forget that there are two people involved here. This will add to the number of possible combinations of “conscious” and “subconscious” casual sex encounters. One person may consciously desire it to be casual, yet the subconscious respond in a noncasual way; at the same time the other person in the encounter may enter the situation with the full intention of the encounter leading further, yet have no subconscious response of the sort (it is subconsciously casual). How will this situation turn out? Who knows.
Casual or not, sex is a powerful thing (both physically and emotionally) and should not be treated flippantly.
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