Now, in Memphis, Tennessee, where I come from, barbecue is a religion, and if I haven’t heard of miracle healings and raisings-from-the-dead attributed to somebody’s secret sauce recipe, surely it’s because I wasn’t paying attention.

Being from Memphis, and subscribing as I do to a creed of orthodoxy which defines “barbecue” as slow-smoked pork and “barbecue sauce” as a concoction of tomato and vinegar, faintly sweet and not too thick, I tend to mistrust the claims of other sauces, viewing them as heretical departures from what is good and holy.

So I raise a skeptical eyebrow at what the Burnt Sacrifice BBQ Sauce people have to say about their products:

The sauces are really all about the progress of the soul. First you start with Saint’s Sauce which is our regular sauce. The saints are then tried with Fiery Trials which is very hot, and then when you have lived your life you go to the Judgment Day which is 300% habanero heat. A lot of people will sweat on that Great Day, but for others it will be sweet and jubilant. So I just mixed those both together.

Hello? Are you from Memphis? I mean to say. It’s all very well to bang on about “sweet and jubilant” mixed together, but are you sound? Is this a valid barbecue sauce?

One simply cannot be too careful.

I haven’t tried this myself, so I have no idea how to rate it. The fact that it might not be barbecue sauce qua barbecue sauce doesn’t rule out the possibility of its being delicious.

[Rating: 85/100]

via my friend Nathaniel

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