As we absorb the news of Pope Francis’s latest escapadehe accidentally cursed in front of an adoring audiencewe are faced with a difficult but unavoidable truth. And that truth is: Pope Francis and Jennifer Lawrence are the same person.
Yes, Jennifer Lawrencestar of the Hunger Games series, she who launched a thousand thinkpieces wondering when we will tire of her authentic downhome American selfis also Pope Francis. When you start paying attention to the media coverage, it’s impossible to miss.
Just read the following headlines. Can you even tell the names were switched? “Jennifer Lawrence Shocks by Accidentally Cursing at Vatican.” “11 Reasons Why Pope Francis Is Your BFF in Your Head.” “Jennifer Lawrence: The Times They Are A-Changin’.” “Pope Francis: America’s Kick-Ass Sweetheart.” “Jennifer Lawrence appoints 19 new cardinals in Vatican ceremony.” And on and on and on.
You might recall Jennifer Lawrence tripped her way into fame on the way to accepting her Oscar last year (a stunt she pulled again at the Oscars this year). But Pope Francis did the same thing (albeit not at the Oscars), prompting Vanity Fair to raise an eyebrow and Gawker to run an article called “Pope Francis Tries to Make Himself as Lovable as Jennifer Lawrence by Tripping Down the Stairs.” (So close!)
But the truth, of course, is that Jennifer Lawrence slipped up at that key momentshe forgot she had already used that trick. That, or Pope Jennifer Francis has really weak ankles. It would be understandable, given his age, that he might find those high heels on the red carpet a little much.
Pope Francis has yet to talk about his love of reality TV, complain about dieting, or adopt a fetching and modern pixie cut. But with his down-to-earth ways, fondness for yerba mate, and his sneaking out of Vatican City in disguise to minister to the poor, he’s basically as much like Jennifer Lawrence as a Pope can get without breaking his cover.
But with this news storya story that could be written about Jennifer Lawrence without changing a single detailwe aren’t looking at a series of simple coincidences. The truth is that Pope Francis is Jennifer Lawrence, and he always has been.
I’m sure you have lots of questions.
I know, who thought we got an American pope after all? I bet Dolan is ticked off about this.
Is Jennifer Lawrence even a Catholic?
According to this highly reputable website: “She has not spoken about her religious views or the views of her family. . . . Based on conjecture, my best guess for Lawrence is Catholic.”
Anyway I’m sure Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t want her fans to know she’s really a seventy-seven-year-old man committed to a life of celibacy. It makes sense that she would hide even the most basic of clues.
None of this proves Pope Francis is Jennifer Lawrence.
Well, if you have a video of Pope Francis and Jennifer Lawrence sitting and talking together like two people who aren’t the same person, I’d love to see it.
Wait. Are you trying to make a point about media coveragethat the media just kind of takes a set amount of narratives and applies them to subjects even when they don’t really fit or the truth is more complex or
I think the facts speak for themselves, don’t you?
Does this make Pope Benedict Anne Hathaway?
We can only hope.
The author of this piece has never seen a Jennifer Lawrence movie. Then again, she’s never seen a Pope Francis movie either.
We launched the First Things 2023 Year-End Campaign to keep articles like the one you just read free of charge to everyone.
Measured in dollars and cents, this doesn't make sense. But consider who is able to read First Things: pastors and priests, college students and professors, young professionals and families. Last year, we had more than three million unique readers on firstthings.com.
Informing and inspiring these people is why First Things doesn't only think in terms of dollars and cents. And it's why we urgently need your year-end support.
Will you give today?