Because of my legal work on behalf of groups persecuted by the Chinese government, I have been tortured three times since September 21, 2007. I have been subject to long periods of secret detention or formal imprisonment. At present, I can move freely within the bounds of a village in northern China, but I’m still in prison—it’s just that my cell has become larger. In negotiating with the Communist party, I have always been willing to compromise on technicalities, but on principle I have been immovable. As long as my physical shell can support my spirit, I will stand against the forces of evil.
The torture I suffered gave me a wonderful gift: faith in God. I was not born a believer. While handling the legal defense of Pastor Cai Zhuohua, who was charged with “illegal business practices” in 2004 for possessing Bibles, I first read Scripture. At the time, it left me cold. My attitude changed when the Beijing authorities began to persecute me. In time, I came to know God and join the brotherhood of Christians. Since then, God has given me great strength through difficult times. He has also given me visions, the first coming after I was abducted in August 2006.
All day on April 28, 2009, my right eye kept twitching. I knew another round of torture would begin soon. I was propelled into a building and down a long staircase, then shoved onto the ground. I heard several people approach before someone said, “Pull the hood off!” A hand snatched the hood off my head, and I saw three pairs of feet in front of me. It was the same group that had tortured me before. The leader was holding an electric cattle prod about two feet long; his other hand lifted a cigarette to his lips. He stepped on my shoulder as his electric cattle prod emitted a buzzing sound. He stuck the prod under my chin. I shut my eyes tight and heard another strange sound, which undoubtedly came from me. That sound rang through the corridor along with the buzzing, but there was no way to control it. I felt my muscles separate from my bones.
“The Communist party isn’t like before,” one of my captors said during one of my countless interrogations.
We’re willing to give you conditions that even those who have rendered extraordinary service to the party wouldn’t dream of. It’s always a question of interests, and ultimately of money. Even in the global sphere, the Communist party doesn’t have anything it can’t handle. How about America? Haven’t we taken care of them, too? When Hillary came this time, what did she want? As soon as we meet they want human rights and discuss your problem, but they also want a billion. With a flick of the hand we give her $800 billion, and once that woman has the money in her hand, there’s no more mention of human rights or Gao Zhisheng!
At this point, my captor became so agitated that he slapped his thigh, leaped to his feet, and began pacing. “Give up, Gao—what good is that human rights bullshit? We know what the Americans want, and they know what we want, and you don’t even enter into it. Even if America really cared about China’s human rights, so what? If we stomp on you, what can they do about it?”
My torture displayed definite Chinese characteristics. Consciously or not, everybody was splashing around in a dark, bitter swamp from which no one could escape, not even the forces of evil themselves. One day, two of them came to see me, and without even sitting down, they began to ask me questions.
“Lao Gao, how are you?”
“You have all the answers,” I said, “so there’s no need to ask.”
“Why don’t you tell us your thoughts on the government?” they asked.
“I don’t feel there is a government,” I replied. “There are only the developers and managers of hell. Acknowledging and respecting laws and regulations are the most basic features of all governments. The law is the guarantee and foundation for a state to exercise control, and it’s the law that distinguishes a government from a gang.”