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My friend Nathaniel comments that he’d like to see a “Jael With Her Tent Peg,” but I think that’s expecting a level of biblical literalism, to coin a phrase which was already in existence and didn’t really need coining . . .

Anyway, you tell me.



Sarah, from the God’s Girlz line of “modest and fashionable 12” dolls:”


The received wisdom is that Barbie dresses and accessorizes like a blond-joke tart a la mode, right?

Of course. We all know that.

So tell me . . . why is the modest doll wearing a miniskirt?

Each doll sports a Kerusso t-shirt with a Christian saying on it, and accessories that’ll provide hours of thoughtful play. Sarah’s name means “Princess,” and she really is a princess because her Father is the King of Kings! She loves dancing and praising God.

Uh, okay. That’s all right, then.

For the record, real Barbies have transgressed into the holy of holies which is my house. I quit worrying about them when my oldest daughter was 3 or 4, and someone gave her a Paleontologist Barbie, which she named “Joseph.” So much for that feminist hang-up.

As for modesty, let’s think about how dolls belonging to children really dress in private life. At our house they spend most of their leisure time in a state of nature.

Which is why, honestly, I mind having Barbies a lot less than I would mind having, say, one of these:


I mean, she’s beautiful. And only about $15 more expensive than an American Girl doll. And we love Saint Therese around here.

But what I think is that if you read enough saints’ stories aloud to your children, you’ll find that Barbie gets canonized. Wrap her up in some brown cloth, put a kleenex over her head, and she’s Saint Therese, at least temporarily. Later on you might find her wearing the same kleenex and some tape for a tube-type dress, and stepping out with a cast-resin statuette of Jemima Puddleduck for a night of whatever it is that Barbie and Jemima Puddleduck would do, with few clothes and no money and a pink plastic Volkswagen without a battery.

But at least she gets to be Saint Therese sometimes. Which, I think, is better than having Saint Therese be Barbie, if you see what I mean.

And now I’ve got to rate these products. How about we say that Sarah-with-the-aerobic-shorts gets a 7/100. Let’s give Saint Therese — because she really is very lovely and well-made — an 87/100.

That gives us an average:
{rating: 47/100]

Barbie: not rated. Sold separately.

More on: Easter, Toys, Dolls

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