“Unfortunately our recent study of the highly popular Earth-being religion Major League Baseball suggests that the planet’s dominant species—a semi-gelatinous, endoskeletal, sexually-reproducing biped—is not sufficiently evolved for consciousness absorption,” writes Giles Dub, Assistant Researcher, 3rd Class, to Galactic Consciousness Overlord, Version 17.6, in Explaining Baseball to Aliens .

David Hart does a better job of explaining baseball, to aliens and earthlings alike, in A Perfect Game from the latest issue, for those of you who haven’t yet read it.